Off the Record (Record #1)(69)

It was a swelteringly hot mid-July evening, and the humidity in the air was thick enough that Liz felt more like she was drinking the air rather than breathing it. She was glad she hadn’t straightened her hair, because by the end of the night she would have had waves anyway. Some Jamaican-style band with steel drums was set up on the stage playing music. It reminded Liz of the tacky Hawaiian party she had gone to with Justin, and she sighed as they found a seat at one of the picnic tables.

After a few moments, Victoria spoke up again. “So, what’s been up with you?”

“What do you mean?” Liz asked, fidgeting.

“You’re different. You’re not around that much, and I know you’re not working all the time. You normally freak out about your work and obsess. There hasn’t been as much obsessing. So tell me, what’s up?” Victoria asked, tipping back the absurdly large cup.

“Same old, same old,” Liz told her.

Victoria narrowed her eyes. “Don’t bullshit me. I know something is going on.”

“What’s going on, Vic?” Liz asked, deflecting.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “But something.”

Liz shrugged. She wanted to tell Victoria about Brady, but she couldn’t. They had gotten through two months without being caught. She wasn’t about to jeopardize that by telling anyone what was happening.

“Does this have to do with Hayden?” Victoria asked, taking a shot in the dark. “I mean, I know that you’ve liked him for a long time. You’re going to see him soon, right?”

“Yeah, next weekend I’m going up there. I’m kind of nervous about it. I mean, he was so strange around me before he left, but he still wants me to come visit. I can’t read him. I don’t think he has feelings for me, but then sometimes he says things and I think he does. I’m just not on the same page with him.”

“Well, then it’s good that you’re going up there. I can tell he likes you. I think you guys have just been apart all summer, and then when you’re together again it’ll all come back,” Victoria told her.

Liz’s stomach twisted at the thought. She didn’t want everything with Hayden to suddenly come back. She didn’t know what that would be like. With her feelings for Brady swirling around in her head, she couldn’t imagine going to see Hayden and dealing with that. Then why was she going to visit him? She didn’t have a good answer for that except that she had agreed to…and she still wanted to see him.

“Maybe,” Liz said, not wanting to concede.

“I think you should just f**k him and stop worrying about it,” Victoria said flippantly.

Liz shook her head. There was no way she was going there with this conversation. Not that she and Brady were open about their relationship, but she couldn’t sleep with someone else. “No way. He’s not that kind of guy, Victoria.”

“What kind of guy? Every guy wants that.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it! I mean, I’m not going to sleep with him to get it out of my system or whatever you said. Hayden didn’t make his move at the end of the semester when he could have. I doubt he’d do it now.”

“Then why don’t you make the move? I swear I’ve told you this before,” Victoria said.

“If he’s not interested, then I’m not going to put myself out there like that. Can we drop this?” Talking about Hayden was too confusing with Brady on her mind.

They were friends. Just friends. Hayden had made that perfectly clear last semester. They couldn’t do anything because of the paper, and it was even a stretch to say he wanted to do anything with her. All she got from him was mixed signals. She much preferred to have it all out on the table, like with Brady. Hayden was too confusing.

“Fine. We’ll drop it, but I still think you should consider walking around naked. You’ll find out real quick what he thinks of you,” Victoria said with a shrug.

“Thanks for those enlightening words,” Liz said with an eye roll. “Anyway, I have a big gala event this weekend that I have to go to.”

“Work?” Victoria asked.

“Yeah.” It wasn’t exactly work, but she couldn’t tell Victoria about Brady. Her friend would probably be ecstatic for her, but it was too scary to have people know. The more people with the knowledge of their secret, the more people who could spill it. Even if by accident.

“Do you get to at least wear a rocking dress? Oh my God, have you picked it out already? Can I go with you?” Victoria asked, perking up at the thought of shopping.

Liz shrugged her shoulders as if she didn’t know how to answer the questions. “I, uh…was going to go in something I already had. That’s what I did for the last one.”

Victoria leveled a gaze at her that was equal parts how are we friends and are you sure you’re female? “If this thing is a big deal, we need to get you something new!”

“There’s really not time,” Liz told her.

“We’ll make time for this. You’ll be less nervous about the event in a brand-new dress! Scientific fact. I would know,” she said, then finished off her drink. “Drink up, bitch. I’m getting you another.”

Liz stared down into her half-full drink and sighed. It was going to be a rough night.