Off the Record (Record #1)(111)

She could see what Victoria was poised to say. She could read it on her face clear as day. You want me to lie.

But then she didn’t. “Everything is going to be all right, Liz…somehow.”

Hearing Victoria say that only made it worse.

“I’m, uh…going to go to class,” Liz said, collecting all of her belongings, folding the paper, and shoving it back under her arm. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Please be careful,” Victoria said anxiously. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I’ll be fine.” Fine. Ugh!

Liz hurried out of the Pit and away from the ever-watchful eyes. She needed to find somewhere quiet…somewhere she could be alone before her class. She knew she would be hard-pressed to find that right now. Students were crawling all over campus like ants after someone stepped on an anthill.

She wanted to go to the newspaper office, but she dreaded seeing and confronting Hayden about the picture. He had no idea what he had done by putting it there. And she couldn’t face him without demanding to know why he had put the picture on the front cover without her permission.

It was better that she avoided him entirely.

Liz just started walking. It was better to keep moving than to stop and contemplate everything piling up around her.

Secrets were going to be her downfall. Her secrets now had secrets. She couldn’t tell anyone about Brady. She couldn’t tell Brady about Hayden. She couldn’t tell Hayden about her anger about the paper. And all of it together felt as if it wasn’t just caving in on top of her, but it was crushing her.

Worst of all…it felt as if by holding on to all of her secrets, she was losing a part of herself.

Liz found a seat on a bench on one of the trails on campus. It was as secluded as she was going to get at this time of day.

She fiddled with her necklace, admiring the mix of charms Brady had picked out for her. The yellow gemstone always caught her eye. It signified the end of the campaign, but did that mean they could be together? She hadn’t thought to ask him in the moment, and now she thought about it all the time. If he won, could they move on from the place they were in?

It felt like such a small chance…such a small sliver of hope. An unrealistic, tiny sliver of hope.

And she hated having it as much as she reveled in the thought that it could mean something. That maybe a part of him somewhere…wanted them to be together.

She dropped the locket and reached for her phone. She knew what she needed to do. She couldn’t keep sitting here like this waiting for Brady to call her, because she knew inevitably he would. Too long she had let life lead her around, and she couldn’t keep sitting back and waiting to see where she was going to end up. Facing Brady wasn’t going to be easy, but it was the right thing to do, and in the end, they had too much to talk about.

“Senator Maxwell’s office,” a woman chirped into the phone.

“Hello, Sandy Carmichael for the Senator, please,” Liz responded curtly.

Pause. “One moment please.”

Liz tried not to roll her eyes. The secretary knew the name was a fake one, and kept reminding Liz by pausing dramatically after she used it. Brady needed to get a new secretary.

“Senator Maxwell is currently unavailable. Can I take a message?” the secretary asked when she came back on the line.

Liz sat there frozen for a couple seconds. She hadn’t expected Brady to be busy.

“Uh…just let him know that I called,” Liz said.

“I’ll make a note of it,” she said before hanging up.

Well, then!

Liz didn’t know what else to do. She would just stress over it all day…until he called her back…if he called her back.

Liz rose from her seat and let her feet carry her to class. She sat through three lectures that day, and by the time she left she felt even more restless than before.

Brady still hadn’t called. He was sending a message. One she didn’t particularly care for.

Liz made her way to the newspaper for their first meeting of the semester. She knew there was plenty to discuss, but she was sure that she wouldn’t be able to focus.

Hayden greeted her at the door with a smile, one she was hard-pressed to return. But the heat in his gaze, the pleasure in his smile, and his overall demeanor upon seeing her forced a smile out of her.

“Hey,” he said as she approached. “It’s good to see you. How was the first day back?”

Liz shrugged noncommittally. “Not bad. Not great.”

“Mine was about the same. It does seem to be brightening, though,” he said, looking directly at her.

Liz cleared her throat and averted her gaze. She teetered around Hayden as more people filed into the room. Hastily avoiding Meagan, the gossip columnist, Liz took a seat near the back. Hayden stood in the front of the room and greeted the paper’s staff. There was a series of cheers for the start of the new school year before he launched into all of the plans he had.

Hayden held a room captivated in a way that was entirely different from Brady. Hayden had a charisma and enthusiasm that seemed to radiate out of him, and he led by example, shouldering as much of the work as he requested out of everyone else.

It made the meeting exciting and full of energy, and reminded Liz why she loved all of this so much. She hadn’t even realized how much she had missed it. Working at the paper over the summer felt like isolation compared to the camaraderie that Hayden brought to the table.