Off Base(59)

And he was gone.

*

He shouldn’t have left like that, but it was the kindest thing to do. Much better than putting a brittle smile on his face and making awkward conversation.

He hit the unlock for his truck and slid behind the wheel. They would talk, but first he needed to wrap his head around how this changed everything.

He rubbed at his chest. It felt like a boulder sat there, pressing, pressing.

You can’t give her what she deserves.

That much was true. He’d promised her brother he would look out for her. Not f*ck her until he couldn’t remember his own name. And the way he had been with her? Shit. The sex had been dirty and rough. The way he liked it.

He pulled out of her driveway and headed for his house. He needed to change before heading to base. He ran three miles every morning with his trainees, and he’d never been late. He glanced at the clock. The guys wouldn’t know what to think. Hell, he didn’t know what to think.

He dragged a hand over his face and thought about the last ten hours. He’d never had that with a woman before. That closeness, that feeling—both physical and emotional. He wasn’t going to pretend he didn’t want it again. It was going to be torture to keep his hands off her, to resist her now that he knew how it could be between them.

So don’t resist.

And what? Be a boyfriend to her? A husband? He didn’t do that. Relationships. Monogamy. He wasn’t that kind of guy. He was the kind of guy who woke up in sweats from bad dreams. He couldn’t be like Beck. He didn’t have that seed planted inside him. He failed people. His father. Xander. He made suck-ass decisions. He couldn’t trust himself. If he failed Huntley, that would be the deepest cut yet.

Inhaling a deep breath, he vowed to let her go before it got any more complicated than it already was.





Chapter Ten




Two days went by before Huntley saw Cullen again.

He’d sent her a text the previous night explaining they had night drills. She knew they occasionally conducted training exercises that simulated wartime scenarios. That he thought to text her at all should have mollified her, but it did little to quell the ache of not seeing him or alleviate the tangle of her thoughts churning in aimless circles in an effort to figure out what they were to each other now.

She texted him back and invited him over on Friday night. Beck and his new girlfriend were coming over for dinner. Kenna would be going back to Georgia with him, and Beck had decided to stay a little longer and help her pack her things.

Cullen had texted back that he would join them but might be running late. She glanced at the door all through dinner, wondering if he really was going to make an appearance.

He finally arrived when she was serving dessert, his hair still damp from a shower. She inhaled his soapy scent and the faint whiff of deodorant as he passed her into the dining area, and all her girl parts quivered with longing, eager for an encore.

“Hey, man.” Beck rose and clapped him on the back, pulling him close in one of those half hugs guys did. He motioned to Kenna. “This is Kenna. My girl.”

Even Cullen smiled over Beck’s dreamy tone as he grasped Kenna’s extended hand. “Nice to meet you.

Cullen’s gaze lifted back to Huntley and a giddy tingle spread throughout her.

“I can cut a piece of lasagna for you,” she offered. “Or would you like a piece of cake?”

Cullen’s gaze slid over her, warming her everywhere. “I’ll have a slice of cake.”

Desire slicked through her, tightening her skin. Her bones felt like pudding beneath his gaze. Why did it feel like he was asking for something else?

“A cup of coffee, please, too, if you have it.”

Nodding, she turned and disappeared inside her small kitchen that suddenly felt too cramped and hot. She told herself it was overly warm from the lasagna she had baked for two hours, but the oven had been off for more than an hour now. Her hands shook as she fetched a mug from the cabinet.

When she turned, she yelped, nearly dropping the mug in her hands to find him directly behind her.

“Sorry,” he murmured, his shoes thudding on the tile floor as he stepped close, so close she could count the tiny flecks of gold in his brown eyes. He didn’t look sorry. No, the directness of his gaze said a lot of things, but it wasn’t an apology.

“S’kay,” she murmured, palming the smooth mug in her hand. The counter’s edge cut hard into her back. He didn’t seem in any hurry to step aside for her. “You just startled me.”

“A little jumpy?” His eyes scanned her face.

She shook her head and then nodded, undecided on what she was, but figuring it was okay to admit the truth. She was jumpy around him, and standing this close made her feel like she was coming out of her skin.

Stepping forward to pass around him, she sucked in a breath as her front brushed the hard wall of his chest. Lust shot through her. Even though she wore a blouse. Even though he wore a soft cotton T-shirt. Her breasts tightened, the tips reacting on memory, pinching into tight, needy points.

A hiss of breath escaped him. At the sound, a steady calmness came over her. He felt it, too. He wanted her again.

She turned her back to him, slicing into the chocolate cake she had baked yesterday when she was going out of her mind thinking about him and needing a distraction. She cut four generous slices, setting each one down on a dessert plate. She covered the cake with the glass dome with one hand, lifting an icing-coated finger to her lips. Before she could lick her finger clean, Cullen’s long fingers wrapped around her wrist.