Off Base(33)

You’re here to take the leap. There would be no backing out now…and hell, she didn’t want to. She couldn’t wait to see Beck’s face when she told him. Couldn’t wait to be held against his chest, hear his heartbeat. Kenna popped a breath mint into her smiling mouth and clicked in silver high heels toward the auditorium entrance. When she opened the door, she heard Beck’s deep voice coming from the stage and her heart carried her toward the sound she craved. She stopped just inside the back exit, pleasure settling in her middle at the sight of Beck in his dress blues, speaking from behind a podium. She’d never seen him in this capacity, commanding an entire room and yet, it didn’t surprise her. Their eyes met and he stopped speaking, his throat working as he perused her from head to toe.

A man seated behind Beck on stage cleared his throat, obviously prompting the major to keep going, which he did a moment later. “It is with gratitude that I accept this Silver Star. Men who came before me—good, self-sacrificing men and women—have accepted this honor and I can only hope to live up to their legacies.” His eyes found Kenna’s, as if garnering strength. “But I’ll be accepting it on behalf of Xander Gibbons, and I’d like this medal to go to his family. He wasn’t the only soldier who gave his life that day so I could stand before you here, but he was one of the best men I’ve ever known and his name should be remembered.”

Kenna caught Beck’s subtle nod to a dark-haired officer standing off to the side. The man she’d seen with him at Bombs Away. Just as he’d been last night, the man appeared to be losing a brooding contest with himself. The lines of his handsome face were drawn taut and even across the distance his eyes looked bloodshot. She returned her attention to Beck just in time for respectful applause to break out and him to exit the stage. He stopped to clasp his friend’s shoulder and say something before moving toward the double doors that led to the surrounding hallway, the same one where she stood, but he would be emerging around the corner and down a corridor. She started to back away from the crowd, intent on meeting Beck, but she saw him pause before leaving, watched his face register surprise.

To his friend’s right stood a pretty blonde she hadn’t noticed upon arriving, but the woman looked familiar, nonetheless. Too familiar. It only took Kenna a split second to remember the picture she’d seen in Beck’s wallet. Mary. Beck’s ex-girlfriend, Mary.

An invisible fist closed around her throat, cutting off her oxygen. Her legs began to shake with the urge to run as fast as she could. It would be over now. Look at them. They were a ten-year age progression of the homecoming king and queen. Stupid perfect. Mary had her hand on Beck’s arm, big, bluebell eyes pleading, white teeth flashing as she whispered to him.

Kenna could feel the cool air from outside drifting in through the doorway behind her, enticing her to leave. Not yet, though. Once she saw it done, she could bail and bail hard. Audience members had started to take notice of the golden couple, watching them curiously, but Beck led Mary toward the exit, stifling the disruption.

Kenna drifted in their direction.

*

Jesus, this couldn’t be happening.

He’d walked off the stage, raw from revisiting the tragedy that had taken Xander and wanting nothing more than to soak up comfort from Kenna. Seeing her appear in that doorway, dressed like an angel, had given him the strength to get through the acceptance speech. Her answer had been written on her face. Yes to Georgia. Yes to him. Yes to everything. The beating organ in his chest had swelled to the point of bursting, so full, so grateful.

Out of nowhere, Mary had appeared. Confusion had stopped him in his tracks, followed by a brief flash of nostalgia. Not because he had any lingering feelings for Mary. He hadn’t for a long time and now…now he couldn’t fit a single damn thing around what Kenna made him feel. No, Mary’s appearance had made him think of the past. A time when things were simple and he didn’t know what it felt like to lose a friend. Lose a battle. But she belonged in that time. The past. Not here and not now.

That’s when panic had hit him. The glow on Kenna’s face had dimmed and he could feel her slipping away bit by bit, all the way across the auditorium. Now he stood in the empty hallway, Mary crying and imploring him…for what? He couldn’t hear her over the roaring in his ears. He needed to go after Kenna, but his feet were cemented to the ground. With absolute confidence, he knew if he turned the corner and saw she’d run away, he would break. Wouldn’t be able to handle it. Not after having their future right there, in the palm of his hand. Her trust issues, her fear of being abandoned, couldn’t handle this yet. With more time, he would have gotten her there, but it was too damn soon for this.

Mary gripped his arm and he wanted to jerk away. No one touched him but Kenna.

As if he’d called her name out loud, Kenna rounded the corner and stepped into view. The mere sight of her quieted the ceaseless wail of sound drowning everything else out, allowing him to focus. My girl is so beautiful. So hurt when there’s no reason. Couldn’t she see the gaping hole in his chest where she fit so perfectly?

Focus. He hadn’t lost her yet. She was still there. The possessive beast inside him demanded he storm toward her, shake her and kiss her until she stopped looking so devastated. Her loss of hope was an insult to that ferocious part of him. Logic, however, managed to wedge its foot in the door. She needed time to reason this out. This moment was equally important to both of them. He needed her trust. She needed to learn how to give it.