No Denying You (Danvers #5)(35)
Shaking her head, she said, “Don’t, it’s not your fault. There was nothing you or anyone else could have done. I was sheltered for so long that when I finally broke free, I just lost it. Without Carter, I don’t know if I would have made it back. . . .”
Quirking a brow, Brant asked, “Carter?”
He didn’t miss the soft smile curving Alexia’s mouth. “Carter is the doctor who helped me into treatment. He . . . he was there for me through it all. When I wanted to give up, he pushed me. He saw something in me worth saving. I was terrified I would relapse when I was on my own, but he continued to encourage me, checking in often. We . . . um . . . fell in love. Can you believe that something positive came out of the nightmare my life had become?” Suddenly her hand flew to her mouth. “Oh my God, Brant, I hadn’t even thought of how this might make you feel!”
“Alexia, it’s fine. I’m happy that you have someone in your life now; you deserve it.” Strangely enough, he was happy for her. “So what happened with your parents? You mentioned that they know about your addiction problems.”
“Yes, I told them everything yesterday and they asked me to leave. I had told them over the phone a few weeks ago about Carter, but not about my time in rehab and how bad things had gotten before I checked myself in. I wanted to talk to them about that face-to-face. I think they had convinced themselves that my drug usage was just a small act of rebellion. When I told them in detail how bad things had gotten for me, they completely locked down. They were happier not knowing where I had been or what I had been doing.” Alexia looked down at her hands. “The sad part though is that for a brief moment, I was their daughter again. They were thrilled to welcome me back with a doctor as a fiancé. I found out that they had been telling their friends that I was away at college and had met a doctor there. They were ready to acknowledge my existence again, but that ended when they found out that their daughter had been a serious addict for the past few years. I’ve lost what little relationship I had with them and, more important, I may have lost Carter.”
Surprised, he asked, “Why would you have lost him?”
“He didn’t want me to come see my parents or risk seeing anyone from my past. He felt like it was too soon in my recovery to face such strong emotional triggers. I had told him all about my parents, so he knew they were likely to reject me when they found out the truth. I just . . . didn’t want to accept that he was right so we fought and I told him I needed a break. Time apart to think. Of course, when I walked out, I thought I would be staying with my parents for a while, but that’s obviously out.”
“I’ll help you get settled in a hotel,” Brant found himself offering, falling right back into his old habit of taking care of her. “You can take a few days or weeks to see where you want to go from here. I’m sure your parents will just be glad to have their daughter back when they have time to think.”
He was shocked speechless when she looked at him beseechingly, and said, “Could I please stay with you . . . just for a little while? No one will look for me there. I promise, I won’t be any trouble! You’re the only person in my life right now that I trust not to push me. I need a place to think and someone to lean on. I just . . . don’t have anywhere else to turn.”
“Alexia . . . I don’t think that’s a good idea. We don’t know each other anymore. I’ll be happy to help you in any way I can, but staying with me just wouldn’t work out. You’d be much happier in a hotel.” But when she burst out crying, he knew he was screwed. He didn’t owe her anything; hell, by rights, he should have tossed her out the door already. But . . . she looked so damn fragile. He couldn’t help but remember their past relationship and even though the love was gone, he still cared about what happened to her.
“I’m sorry,” she said, wiping her face. “I’m horribly embarrassed to be doing this. My pride seems to have completely deserted me lately. Just please . . . forget I asked. It’s crazy that I would expect something like that after all I’ve done to you.”
Brant sighed, knowing that he was probably making a huge mistake, but unable to turn his back on her. He stood up, pulling his house key from his key ring. He had lived in an apartment back when they were together, so she had never been to his new house. He scribbled the address of his house on the back of a business card and handed both to her. “Why don’t you go to my place and rest? We can talk more this evening. I . . . This can’t be for long though, Alexia, just a few days.”
“Thank you, Brant,” she whispered tearfully as she stood, giving him a hug. Pulling back, she asked, “Could you please not tell anyone, even your family? I . . . just don’t want people looking at me like my parents did.”
“Of course.” He was just dropping his arms from around her when the door burst open. He saw the smile quickly slipping from Emma’s lips as she stood in the doorway. As she started to turn away, he said, “Emma, come on in.” She stopped uncertainly as Alexia turned, looking toward the door. “Emma, this is a friend of mine, Alexia, and Alexia, this is my . . .”—f*ck what do I say here?—“assistant, Emma.” Both said hello. Maybe it was his imagination, but the moment seemed awkward as hell to him.
Alexia picked up her handbag. “I’ll see you later on, Brant.” With a parting smile to Emma, she walked out the door. If he had thought things were awkward before, it was doubly so now. He found himself wanting to squirm under Emma’s unwavering stare. He was just helping a friend. He really hadn’t done anything wrong. Maybe he needed to stop acting so damn guilty then.