Night's Honor (Elder Races #7)(74)

She took a deep breath. She would not be typical. They had made love, and she had wanted to, and it had been a rare, wonderful experience.

“I’m not sure that ‘fine’ is quite the right word for how I feel,” she told him honestly. “While I’m so . . . glad, I also feel pretty shaken. But that doesn’t mean that I’m not dealing with it, or that I’ll go against my word and leave.” She gave him a small smile. “Will that do?”

The muscle in his jaw ticked, another small tell. “It goes against my instincts to let you out of here, even if you are only going to another room. But I also agree with you—letting Diego stumble upon us together is not the right way to break the news to the others.” He kissed her swiftly. “You’d better leave before I change my mind.”

She nodded, and before she could change her mind too, she kissed him again and walked rapidly to the door. Funny, now that she was actually leaving—even though she needed to—she had to fight the impulse to turn around and stay.

She walked to the short hallway and looked back. He had left his bedroom door halfway open. As she paused, he said telepathically, In case you change your mind.

Warmed, she replied, I won’t, but thank you.

Sweet dreams.

You too.

There were four doors down the short hallway. Two were propped open, one led to the bathroom with an antique claw-foot bathtub and the fourth led to an empty bedroom. Inside that room, her bag sat at the foot of the double bed, and as promised, on the nightstand Diego had left a snack of crackers, fruit and a variety of cheeses wrapped in plastic.

As she readied for bed, exhaustion weighed down her limbs. The day had felt a week long, and she hadn’t yet adjusted to a more nocturnal schedule.

Slipping into the bathroom, she brushed her teeth. Much as she wanted to take a full bath or shower, she could barely stand upright, so she washed quickly at the sink. Back in the bedroom, she closed her door and crawled between the covers.

She didn’t make it to turning out the bedside light. The world went dark as soon as her head hit the pillow.

An undefined amount of time later, she didn’t wake gently or slowly, but all at once in a clench. It took a few moments for her to realize where she was, as she stared around the strange, windowless room.

Memory flooded in. The confrontation with Malphas, and what had come after.

The things she and Xavier had said to each other, the things he had done to her, his mouth moving so knowledgeably as he tongued her until an inescapable fire had flared hot and bright. How he moved on top of her, moved inside of her, the feral changes in his face, and the gentleness of his hands and lips.

It had been at least a year since she had last taken a lover, and she felt the soreness in her muscles as she shifted her legs restlessly. Even with the soreness, an edge of that fiery hunger pulsed. Slipping a hand between her legs to cup herself, she realized she hadn’t even taken off the robe. The soft material twisted around her body.

Without visual cues from looking outside, it was impossible to know the time without a clock or device of some sort, and she was still very tired. What had woken her? She hadn’t dreamed of Malphas, thank God. Perhaps she had noticed the strangeness of the bed.

Faintly, the sound of male voices came through the closed door. Even though she could just barely hear them, not what was actually being said, they sounded tense, even angry.

Oh Lord, what now?

Throwing back the covers, she adjusted the robe and slipped out of the room.

The door to the bedroom where Diego had stayed was propped open, the room empty. The voices came from the living room.

As she froze in indecision, Diego said, “It’s been three years, and I’m not going anywhere. I clean the pool, maintain the cars and polish the guns, and that’s my entire life. When Melisande and Justine came to visit? That was the most interesting thing to happen to me in a long damn time. Even coming here last night was a massive change, and all I f*cking did was go to bed.”

Sinking both hands into her hair, she held her head.

What is it about me? What?

I don’t ask to overhear this stuff.

“While I understand what you’re saying, it doesn’t change my mind.”

She had a visceral reaction, just listening to the sound of Xavier’s voice. Sensation ran along her skin, and she shivered, wrapping the robe more tightly around her torso.

His mouth on her. His mouth on her.

Dear God.

Calm and courteous, Xavier continued. “I retired you from the field for many good reasons, and I’m not going to put you back in active duty. The last time you went on assignment, your cover was so badly blown, you would be a dead man if I sent you back out again. You’re done, Diego. You’ve been done for a long time, and there’s no coming back from this retirement. I’m sorry, but that’s my final decision.”

Xavier retired Diego from a field?

A mental picture of Diego mowing an overgrown pasture bloomed in her mind. It was so patently ridiculous, the last of the sleep cobwebs in her mind blew away and she really woke up.

He retired Diego from active duty.

Like a spool of thread, everything she had witnessed from the past six weeks unrolled in her mind.

How she had felt more than once that something was slightly off at the estate. How everyone else had stopped talking whenever she entered the room.

How all five of the young men disappeared from one day to the next, and nobody brought it up in conversation. How important it had been to keep their identities hidden when unfriendly strangers had arrived.