Night's Honor (Elder Races #7)(55)

“And you’ve been serving Julian ever since.”

He inclined his head. “He’s my sire.”

She nodded. There were so many things she wanted to ask him. How had he put the pieces of himself back together?

Somehow the core of him had survived.

He wasn’t a monster. He was courteous and thoughtful. Self-disciplined and well-mannered. How had he coped with such a shattered faith?

She became aware of her hand, wrapped in his. Growing self-conscious, she tried to let go, but he tightened his grip and said, “I told you all this, because you have the right to know who your patron is. You should be able to reconcile in your mind all of those things you know about me, and you should know that no one who is under my care will ever come to harm like that again. Not ever. I swear it.”

Realization crushed down. He had taken so much time and effort, all to reassure her, when she had every intention of leaving anyway.

They weren’t going to make the dance lesson after all. She couldn’t go on without saying anything. Now it was her turn to grip his fingers. She met his gaze and said, “I have to leave in the morning.”

Surprise flared in his expression then settled into coldness, and he pulled away from her touch. “I see. My apologies, if I’ve offended you in any way.”

What? No!

She grabbed the sleeve of his jacket before he could stand. “Your story didn’t offend me. I was incredibly moved and saddened, and I wished I could do something to protect that boy from all the horrible things that happened to him.”

The coldness eased somewhat, but while he didn’t pull away, his body remained stiff. “Thank you,” he said. “But then why leave? I thought we had made progress. You’re no longer afraid, and you seemed pleased enough last night. When did you decide this?”

She put her face in her hands and rubbed eyes that had gone dry and gritty with tiredness. “This morning. I was going to tell you. I should never have put on the dress and shoes, but they were so pretty, and I wanted to see if we might be able to waltz again before I told you. Just ninety seconds more.”

He took both of her hands and pulled them down, and she saw that he had moved to straddle the bench to face her fully. Searching her expression, he asked, “What happened?”

She hesitated, her mind racing. She didn’t want to tell him, in case that provided some kind of buffer. But what if it didn’t? He had a right to know what kind of danger she had brought to his estate, so that he could guard against it. She couldn’t betray him, or the others, by leaving them in ignorance.

“I’ve made a powerful enemy,” she said. “And he’s vindictive. I thought I might be able to disappear, or if he found me, just being in your household would be enough to back him off, but this morning I realized I was being stupid. Just me being here has put you and everybody else in danger.”

He looked calm, but his gaze had turned deadly. If he had looked anything like that at the Vampyre’s Ball, she would have been terrified. As it was, her breath shortened.

“Who is it?”

She realized he still held both her wrists in a gentle, entirely unbreakable grip. “I think I’ve told you enough.”

“It’s Malphas, isn’t it?”

Hearing Xavier speak his name aloud shocked her, and her heart began a slow, hard clanging in her chest. Tightening her hands into fists, she pulled at his grip. Somewhat to her own surprise, he let her go. “How do you know that name?”

He gave her a quizzical look. “We ran a background check on you. You worked at a casino in Las Vegas. It was not difficult to find out who owned the casino.”

“Oh, God.” Black spots danced in front of her eyes. She bent forward, putting her forehead to her knees. “Can he trace that? I know that Djinn can get into computer systems somehow, and spy on Internet usage. He can trace that, can’t he?”

Xavier put a hand at the back of her neck, his touch steady and bracing. “Slow, deep breaths. No, don’t come up so fast. Give it a moment. Some Djinn have the ability to get into electronic systems, but only a few are tech savvy enough to understand how to read the bytes of information. Since he hasn’t shown up here, I think we can assume Malphas hasn’t tracked the interaction.”

“Okay,” she said, breathing slow and deep like he said. The black spots disappeared. “You can let me up now.”

The pressure on the back of her neck eased, and she sat upright. He rubbed her back, still watching her closely. “Better?”

She gave him a quick, stiff nod. “Yes.”

He gave her a smile that she could tell was meant to be reassuring, but his gaze was still deadly. Over the centuries, that broken naive boy had turned into something entirely honed and dangerous. Somehow, though, she could tell that the expression wasn’t meant for her. It didn’t frighten her, but a shiver ran down her back anyway.

He said, “This is where you tell me everything.”

“I don’t know,” she replied. She rubbed her arms. “I have to think.”

His smile widened. “Tess, you can’t possibly believe I’m going to let you walk out those front gates now, can you?”

Lifting her chin, she said, “Yes, I do. Any time during this trial year, either one of us can call it quits.”

He laughed, a quiet sound that shivered along her skin. “That was then. This is now.”