Never Seduce a Scot (The Montgomerys and Armstrongs #1)(74)

He took a deep breath and plunged forward, his heart beating against his chest like a drum.

“I want this marriage. I … value … this marriage. I value you. I was wrong to think the mindsets that are so deeply rooted could be changed in a matter of days. But I don’t want you to give up, because I’m not giving up. We will make this work and I want you to believe in me if nothing else. Your place is here. With me, at my side. I need you to believe that in your heart, for it is what is in mine.”

Eveline stared back at Graeme, her pulse racing. His gaze was completely earnest and in his eyes she saw something more, something she’d never imagined seeing in a warrior such as Graeme.

She saw pleading and vulnerability.

“I want to be here with you, too,” she whispered, the words catching and scratching against her throat. “But they don’t want me. They hate me. They’ll always hate me for who I am and I cannot change the circumstances of my birth. I wouldn’t even if I could. I love my family. I’m proud of my heritage. ’Tis nothing for me to feel shame over.”

Graeme started to speak, but she extricated her hand from his hold and gently pressed a finger to his lips to silence him.

“I looked to this marriage with a mixture of emotions. I felt relief that I would be forever safe from an arrangement with Ian McHugh. I looked at you and saw someone I felt safe with, even though you were my clan’s most hated enemy.

“But I was also fearful because I knew such a match was impossible. And I was right. Your clan will never accept me. You’ll forever be at odds with them over me. A clan divided will fall on the battlefield. If you do not have their full support, how can you depend on them to do their duty when the time comes to protect your people?”

She sucked in a deep breath and plunged ahead while she still had the courage to say all that was in her heart.

“And yet I also was hopeful because I saw an opportunity to stop cowering behind a falsehood that had captured me in its grasp. One lie had led to another until it was impossible to escape the deception I had begun. Here, I’d hoped that I could be a normal lass with a husband who was kind and that eventually I could have children and forge a life beyond what was my reality in my own clan.

“But like you, I thought it would be a simple matter. I truly thought that once your clan saw that I was willing to set aside differences and that I was willing to work to gain their acceptance and regard, that past hatreds would be forgotten. It was a foolish thought. It’s not possible any more than it would have been possible for my clan to accept a Montgomery in their midst.”

Graeme framed her face in his hands, his expression fierce, his eyes blazing with determination.

“ ’Tis not impossible. Give me time, Eveline. I cannot let you go, and yet I do not want you to be unhappy. I vow that you will always have the unwavering support of me and my brothers. In time, the clan will move beyond their current mindset. ’Tis too soon to judge. We’ve both admitted that it takes time to change the minds and hearts of others. All I ask is that you trust me to protect you.”

His grip tightened and he lowered his face until they were eye to eye and his gaze burned over her skin.

“Give me a chance, Eveline. ’Tis all I ask. Give me more time and if you still feel as you do come winter, then I’ll return you to your family and ask no more of you. I’ll take you to your father myself and I’ll vow before God to uphold our treaty. I’ll hold our marriage vows firm, but will allow you to live apart from me.”

She swallowed, the ache in her heart growing. She wanted nothing more than to remain with Graeme. She thought she’d even grown to love him in the short time they’d been together, but was it enough? Could she ever hope to gain his love and would that love be enough to overshadow the rest of the clan’s treatment of her?

But what then awaited her at home? She would be forced to explain all to her parents, to her brothers, and to her kin. They would be happy that she wasn’t as affected by the accident as she’d led them to believe, but then would come the disappointment over her deception.

What was left for her in her own clan? She wanted a husband and children. She wanted to break free of the life she’d been forced to live due to her own fears and lies. If those were the things she most wanted, then she’d be forever denying herself the possibility of love, children, and having her own status in a clan were she to go back to the Armstrongs.

She broke free of Graeme’s grasp and turned sideways to him, staring over the rolling terrain. For so long fear had ruled her existence. Fear, deception, lies. It was no way to live.

At least here, everything was honest. Nay, they didn’t like her. They didn’t accept her. But could she change that? Was she willing to travel a very difficult path if in the end her reward was the eventual acceptance of her new clan?

She wanted her mother, but she was no longer a young lass attached to her mother’s skirts. Her mother was a very wise woman, and Eveline wanted her counsel now more than ever.

But it was time for her to stand on her own two feet, to stop hiding behind her clan and the protection they’d always offered. Nay, things wouldn’t be easy here, but she wasn’t willing to give up so easily just because she’d been made a fool of.

She was tired of running. Tired of hiding and of seeking the protection of others. Perhaps it was high time she took a stand, and not behind her husband, forcing him to go against his own kin in defense of her.