Never Love a Highlander (McCabe Trilogy #3)(41)

Well, Keeley had gotten the prince, and Rionna had gotten the skills to protect herself. She wasn’t sure who had come out ahead in the bargain.

She found a large bolder and eased down onto the cold surface. Her arse would freeze if she stayed long, but she wasn’t quite ready for the confrontation that must be forced with her husband.

Caelen walked through the kitchens, his expression grim. Rionna shouldn’t be below stairs yet. Hell, she shouldn’t even be out of bed. He intended to keep her there at least another fortnight.

But what worried him more than her being out of bed was her state of mind. The attack had deeply affected her. She’d been quiet, reserved, timid even. And Rionna was not a timid lass. He feared that the attack had irrevocably changed her or damaged her in some way. And he was helpless to change it.

He stopped at the doorway leading outside, after the women in the kitchens reported that she’d not paused on her way out. As he stepped into the snow, he looked up to see her sitting in the distance, her back to him as she stared up at the mountains.

The knot he suffered so frequently since his return from the hunt clutched his throat as he watched her hair blow this way and that in the breeze.

She seemed so slight. Fragile. It was a word he kept coming back to over and over, but it aptly described her appearance.

She looked alone and vulnerable, as if she had no one in the world to protect her. No one had protected her when she’d needed it the most. It was something he’d have to live with for the rest of his life.

“Laird, do not be angry. What she wears is a comfort to her. She needs that right now.”

Caelen turned in surprise at Sarah’s words. The woman stood behind him, watching Rionna with worried eyes.

“Think you I give a damn what she wears? I’m more concerned with her well-being.”

Sarah nodded approvingly and Caelen gestured her away.

He stepped softly through the snow, not wanting to frighten or disturb Rionna. He thought she resembled a doe, poised to run at the slightest sound or provocation. But as he drew closer, he could see the vacant, distant look in her eyes as she stared away from the keep.

Had the attack damaged her permanently? Would she never be right again? It was early to worry over such possibilities, but he couldn’t help but wonder at how deep the scars would run.

“Rionna,” he called softly.

He heard her quick intake of breath as if he had indeed startled her. She whirled around, her eyes a little wild until her gaze settled on him and then she quieted.

She went so still and continued to stare at him in a way that unsettled him. It was eerie. She studied him as if she were about to announce judgment on him and find him lacking. Perhaps ’twas his own guilt speaking volumes, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that she was angry. Very, very angry.

“ ’Tis cold. You should be indoors where it’s warm.”

He slid a hand over her shoulder and squeezed, trying to bring her comfort.

To his surprise she laughed. ’Twas not a joyous sound that bubbled from her throat. It was harsh and hoarse. It sounded pained.

“You probably think I’m daft,” she said.

“Nay,” he said gently. “Not daft.”

“You also probably think I’m a scared rabbit now, afraid to leave my chamber, afraid to venture outside for fear of being attacked again.”

“Nay, lass. I think what you need is time to heal. Your courage will come.”

She turned then and pinned those glowing eyes upon him until he felt unsettled by the directness of her gaze.

“I’m not afraid, Laird. ’Tis the truth I’m furious.”

Anger was an appropriate response under the circumstances, and she did look furious. Sparks fair shot from her eyes and her entire body trembled. For the first time he relaxed, relief sudden and fierce. He knew how to respond to an angry Rionna. But the beaten, worn-down, fragile woman who’d occupied her body for the last week baffled and confused him.

“ ’Tis good you’re angry,” he offered sagely.

She shot to her feet and spun around, glaring at him. Her fists were formed into tight balls at her sides, and she looked like she wanted to take a swing at him.

“Even if ’tis you I’m furious with?”

Now that he wasn’t prepared for. He frowned, knowing that he had to tread lightly here. The lass wasn’t right yet. Her emotions were all over the place, and he didn’t want to upset her further.

“ ’Tis sorry I am that I wasn’t here to protect you, Rionna. ’Tis something I’ll regret my life through. I should have better seen to your protection. ’Tis not a mistake I’ll make again.”

A garbled sound of rage roared from her throat. She looked as though she wanted to clench her fingers around her hair and pull.

“Nay, you shouldn’t have protected me better, husband. What you should have done was allowed me to protect myself!”

“You’re not making sense, lass. Calm down. Let’s go inside. You should be above stairs in your chamber.”

“Do you know what had just happened before those men attacked me?” she asked, ignoring his suggestion to return indoors. “I’ll tell you what happened. My sword had just been taken by Hugh because he said he didn’t want me to be harmed and ’twas not a womanly thing to be wielding a sword. He warned the other men that any who engaged me in swordplay would answer to him.”