NICE GIRL TO LOVE (THE COMPLETE THREE-BOOK COLLECTION)(47)

For her to be free.

With each word, Connor watched his mother change before his very eyes. She became filled with joy, with life. Things that had never been there before, things she should’ve had a chance to have. “You are in love.” It was a statement, a fact. Because even he could see it.

“It suits you,” he added simply, not knowing what else to say.

Helen’s hands squeezed his forearm in a gentle, motherly gesture he hadn’t thought she’d know to do. “It suits you, too.”

His eyes shot up to hers.

She gave him a sad smile. “I know. It’s hard, isn’t it? I fought it, too. Most people think that falling in love, being in love is so easy. But that’s because most people have had it, or do have it. That’s what family is supposed to be for, right? Your never-ending source of love? But you and I, we didn’t have it. How in the world your brother found it despite everything is beyond me.” Her breath hitched. “And I will never, ever forgive myself for the part I’ve played in adding to that void in both of your lives.”

“Mother, you did the best you could.”

“No. I didn’t. I should’ve been stronger. I should’ve loved you and Brian enough for two parents. Like how your brother is doing with Skylar. But I just…couldn’t.” A sardonic grin tipped her mouth at the corner. “I tried explaining it to Henry once. I’d likened it to having a limb fall asleep on you. It’s compressed, drained, unaware…until that blood comes rushing in again. An unwelcome relief, or a welcome pain—depends how you look at it. Depends how long that limb has been cut off from circulation.” With a shudder of remembrance, she whispered, “And it hurts, almost unbearably at first to feel all that coming back in, doesn’t it?”

Yes.

She nodded as if he’d answered aloud. “But it doesn’t stop there. Sure, your sleeping limb is all filled up and whole again, but it’s still not back to ‘normal.’ You still have to use it, get the feeling back, make it respond. So you get more doses of pain as you do, along with confusion, frustration, and at times, feelings that it’s not really worth it.”

“That’s what my heart went through; the pain process was long, and just as terrible as it was wonderful. It wasn’t until recently that it ended completely.” She put a hand on his cheek—yet another motherly gesture he committed to memory just in case it never came back again. “But your pain is still going on, isn’t it?”

Yes. A thousand times, yes.

“Who is she? Do I know her?”

That was an easier question to answer aloud. “You do, actually. It’s Abby. Abby Bartlett.”

Helen frowned, “Brian’s friend?”

He nodded.

Surprise and sympathy drifted over her features. “Oh, dear.”

Wow, for a woman just learning how to love again, she seemed remarkably insightful about all that he was struggling with.

Something that resembled a smile of motherly approval lit her face. “She is a very nice girl.”

He almost laughed then. “Yes, yes she is.”

“So what are you going to do?”

Sighing, he shook his head. “I don’t know. Any advice?”

She started chuckling delightedly at that—another first. “I am the last person to give you advice on anything dealing with love, Connor, and you know it.”

“Try anyway.” He had a feeling she’d be better at it than she thought.

After a long moment of consideration, she said, “I think…if you love her, you should let her love you back, help her love you back. Because let’s face it, we all need help with that.” She bit her lip nervously. “Did that make any sense?”

He gave her a small grin. “That’s good advice. Great advice, really. Thank you.”

She sat up taller, smiled a little brighter.

“Can I give you some advice now?” he ventured softly.

A startled, pleased look crossed her features. “Of course.”

“Let Brian and I call you ‘mom’ from now on.”

An instant rush of tears filled her eyes. “Do you think I deserve that?”

“I do. I think you deserve to let us love you.”

And now the tears were rolling down her cheeks. “I’d like that. Very much.”

He stood then and they proceeded to have the world’s most awkward parent-child hug ever. He shrugged. “We’ll get better at it.”

She chuckled—each one starting to sound more natural on her. “I’ll be sure to practice the hugging with Skylar.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. And if she’ll let me, I’m thinking of asking her to call me ‘grandma.’”

“Good. That suits you as well.” He glanced at his watch, knowing that even the best advice had a window of time before its shelf life expired. If he was going to follow through on the one his mother had provided, he needed to head out now. “I better get going.”

But before he did, he turned to his mother and asked, “This man, Henry, the one you’re in love with—is he a nice guy? Does he treat you well?”

Her smile was resplendent. “Yes. Very much so.”

“I’m glad. You deserve it.” He walked another few steps to his car and stopped again when another thought occurred to him, the ugliness of his father’s smug taunts from the other night echoing in his head. “Hey, who’s your legal counsel for the divorce? I want to be sure you have the best if they’re going up against our firm.”