My Lord Eternity (Immortal Rogues #2)(42)

"Guardian." She uttered a short, near-hysterical laugh. "How can I be a guardian when I did not even realize what I possessed? I might have given away the necklace on a dozen occasions."

"It was a risk, but Nefri had few options."

A sudden anger flared to life in the beautiful blue eyes. "She could have told me the truth."

He grimaced. It was an argument he had used himself. Only now did he fully comprehend Nefri's dilemma. What maiden with any sense at all would willingly place herself in the path of a murderous vampire? Even supposing Nefri could have convinced them that vampires existed at all.

"And what would you have done?" he gently demanded.

Her expression twisted as she realized that she would have turned away Nefri as a crazed old woman.

"I do not know."

"You would have thought her mad."

She wrapped her arms about her waist. "Now I fear that I am the one who is mad."

"You do not believe me?"

"I do not know what I believe." Her head slowly turned as she glanced about the small, shabby room that no doubt had once brought her comfort. It was a place of security. Or at least it had been. Now she was being asked to believe that there was nowhere that was truly safe. He could not blame her for her reluctance. "I cannot think."

Unable to halt himself, Lucien slid forward, allowing his hands to lightly descend upon her shoulders. He ached to pull her close. To surround her with the strength of his own body.

Instead, he gazed deeply into her wide, troubled eyes.

"I know it is difficult, my dove—"

"No," she sharply interrupted, pulling away to regard him with a startlingly fierce expression.

Caught off guard, Lucien held out his hands in a pacifying motion. Great Nefri, she was as skittish as a newborn colt.

"What?"

"Do not call me that."

His breath caught at her broken tones. He felt as if he had just been slammed in the stomach.

She was so terribly wounded. And he was the cause.

It was not just the unbelievable tale of vampires. Or even the powerful Medallion she wore about her neck. It was the fact that she had allowed him into her heart.

After years of keeping herself aloof from others and avoiding the pain and disappointment she had experienced at the hands of Lord Patten, she had at long last permitted herself to reach out to another.

Now she felt utterly betrayed.

And he had no one to blame but himself, he acknowledged bitterly. Not even Nefri.

It had been his choice to pose as a dandy on the run from his angry cousin. His choice to live beneath Jocelyn's roof. And his choice to seek a closer relationship than necessary to simply protect her.

And all to see her smile.

His expression was pleading as he held out a slender hand. "Jocelyn."

"No." With a shake of her head she backed away, the pain visible upon her face. "I thought you were different. I thought I could believe in you, but you have done nothing but lie to me from the moment you entered my home."

His hand abruptly clenched as it fell to his side. "I came here to protect you."

She gave a sharp, humorless laugh. "And to have a bit of a lark with the poor, scandal-tainted spinster?"

"Stop it, Jocelyn." Indifferent to the flashing danger in her eyes and the stiffness of her frame, Lucien stepped forward and firmly grasped her upper arms. She could insult him to her heart's content. He would readily accept whatever blows she might need to throw. But he would not allow her to belittle herself. "I will admit that I desired to bring a smile to your lips and to ease the bitterness within you. Hardly contemptible motives."

Her mouth Curled at his insistent words. "I do not need your pity, Mr. Valin."

"Good, because pity is the last thing you would ever receive from me," he gritted out, careful to keep his fingers from digging into her soft skin in exasperation. He had done enough damage to this innocent maiden. "I admire you more than any other woman I have ever met. Your kindness, your strength, your ability to take adversity and alter it to something so good. Quite frankly, Miss Kingly, you astonish me."

For a breathless, wondrous moment her expression softened at his words. She even began to sway slightly toward his waiting warmth before she abruptly became rigid beneath his hands. A sudden bleakness returned to the pale features.

"How can I trust anything you say?"

Lucien fiercely held on to the small beacon of hope he had just witnessed. Beneath the pain and confusion, she did still care for him. It had been etched upon her pale features. And now that he was near her, he could feel it beat through her very blood.

Over the past few weeks they had become irrevocably linked to each other. The shimmering bonds of love and affection had been established whether either of them desired to acknowledge them or not.

Perhaps he should have taken more care, he chastised himself. Not only for the tender feelings of poor Jocelyn but for his own peace of mind.

In time Jocelyn might very well put him out of her heart and find another to love. It was the way of humans to be able to love and mate more than once during their short life span. For a vampire, however, such a love came only once. And it endured for all eternity.

Such a thought should be terrifying. He had deliberately avoided such entanglements. To be bound to another was a responsibility he was incapable of accepting.