My Lord Eternity (Immortal Rogues #2)(31)

It was impossible to deny the truth in his words. No one would believe that she must spend such long hours adding up columns of numbers.

With a frown she wrapped her arms about her waist. "Is there something you need?"

Surprisingly his lips twisted in a rather rueful fashion. "Your company would be a pleasant change."

Her heart gave a sudden leap at his tempting words. There was no denying that the presence of Lucien always managed to lighten her day. Even when she was determined to remain aloof and indifferent to his persuasive charm he lured her into forgetting herself. How could any maiden resist such a potent charm?

But while she was forced to acknowledge that he could provide her with a much-needed comfort, she discovered herself reluctant to press her poor spirits upon him.

It was hardly fair to ruin his day as well.

"You would do better to seek companionship elsewhere," she warned him with a sigh. "I am not in the humor for entertainments."

The golden eyes shimmered wryly at her sad tones. "No, you would rather brood over your encounter with Lord Patten."

Her lips thinned at his taunting. "It is not amusing."

"No." His expression became somber. "Nor is it wise. Brooding upon the past will not change it, Jocelyn. There is no magic that will accomplish such a feat."

It was what she had told herself a hundred times over the past few days. That did not, however, make it any easier.

She abruptly turned about to gaze out the window. "Do you have no regrets?" she demanded in unconsciously bitter tones. "Nothing you would alter if you were able?"

There was a pause before Jocelyn felt warm hands lightly touch her shoulders, offering her an unspoken strength.

"None of us is without regrets," he murmured. "We have all taken paths that were less than smooth, but they quite often teach us lessons that must be learned."

Jocelyn battled the urge to lean back into the warm comfort of his chest. She was not so lost to reason that she did not sense that every day, every moment, she became more and more entangled with this gentleman.

Not just in the desire that was undeniable between them. But in a far more dangerous manner.

One that might very well break her heart.

"Some lessons are more painful than others," she muttered.

"True enough." The disturbing fingers gently squeezed her shoulders. "Tell me of Lord Patten."

She tensed at the soft question, but for once she did not cringe from the painful memories.

Instead, she allowed her thoughts to reluctantly return to those days that seemed to be a lifetime ago.

"I met him during my first Season in London," she slowly confessed. "He was handsome, charming, and I was incredibly naive."

"You fell in love with him?" Lucien demanded in oddly thick tones.

Jocelyn shuddered. Love? Oh, no, there had been nothing pure or beautiful about her feelings for Lord Patten. Instead, they had been too sordid to admit without a sick sensation in the pit of her stomach.

"No," she whispered with a grimace. "I do not even have that excuse. You see, in Surrey I was considered the most beautiful and sought-after debutante in the county. There was no gentleman who did not vie for my attention."

He gave a low chuckle. "Hardly surprising."

Her own expression remained dark. "I was spoiled, willful, and vain. A dangerous combination."

"You are far too hard upon yourself, Jocelyn."

She gave a shake of her head. "No, it is the simple truth. I came to London expecting to dazzle the ton with my charms and, of course, to discover a husband who would offer me wealth and position."

His fingers abruptly tightened upon her shoulders. "Of course."

"It did not seem a difficult task." She paused for a moment, shamed by her memories. "I was swiftly toasted as an Incomparable, and within a fortnight I had received a dozen offers of marriage. It was all tar too easy... even dull."

"Yes," he murmured.

"I began to long for excitement."

"You desired a challenge."

"Yes."

"And you found it in Lord Patten?"

She recalled the giddy excitement she felt when he walked into the room and the petulant annoyance when he seemed indifferent to her charm. He swiftly consumed her every thought.

Now she could only wonder at her vast stupidity.

"He was very clever. Of all the gentlemen who fought to gain my favor, he alone remained aloof. No matter how I flirted, he refused to be captivated."

"Which only made you more determined to capture his elusive attention," he swiftly concluded.

"Of course." She gave a short, humorless laugh. "It was all a game to him. A game which he had mastered, while I was a bumbling idiot."

Lucien shifted closer, his breath brushing the bare skin of her neck with delicious warmth.

"What happened?"

Her hands unconsciously clenched in tight fists, the nails biting into her palms. It was only in her nightmares that she ever allowed the haunting memories to return.

"I was attending Lady Glendale's ball. It was absurdly stuffy, and I stepped onto the terrace.

Lord Patten joined me there. As usual, he was quite flippant, and I grew annoyed at his mocking disdain." She was forced to pause and take a steadying breath. "I informed him that I was not quite the innocent fool that he thought me to be."