My Last Resolution(22)

He smiles at me, damn well knowing that he won that last conversation. “Did you want to sleep the rest of the day away or do you want to join me for dinner?”

“Depends. Do you want to put some actual clothes on?”

“If you insist.” He helps me up and walks me into his dining room.

After he pulls a chair out for me, he disappears for a few minutes and returns in grey flannel pants. He places a plate of grilled chicken and rice in front of me and pours me a glass of red wine.

I avoid eye contact as I eat—trying not to murmur with each and every bite.

God, he’s an amazing cook...

“Paris?” He calls my name, but I don’t look at him.

“Yes?”

“Can I ask you something? It may be slightly invasive...”

“I don’t think you’re capable of being anything but invasive.”

“If the sex wasn’t as good as you wanted it to be with your boyfriend, why didn’t you ever tell him how you felt?”

I immediately look up. “Why would I do that?”

“Why wouldn’t you?”

I sigh and lean back in my chair, thinking.

The first time Adrian and I had sex, we were at a luxury hotel downtown and he’d paid for us to have the room all weekend.

He was the third guy I’d been with, and I was just grateful that he wasn’t being rough and rushing through it like my last “kind of” boyfriends had. He’d kissed me gently all over, whispered sexy things into my ear, and when he’d slid into me it felt nice.

Just nice.

The times after that—for the first two years that we were together anyway, the sex was good, but it gradually became all too similar. Slow. Gentle. Calculated.

No matter how frantic and heavy the foreplay was, the actual sex was never spur of the moment, never “right here, right now,” never interesting. In fact, I could practically predict how many times he would kiss me before and after, could practically predict all the words he would say: “You’re amazing, Paris...” “Is this good?” “Keep going, Paris...”

Still, it was never “bad sex,” just “nice sex.”

“We didn’t really talk about sex,” I say, avoiding Blake’s eyes. “We just did it. And honestly, it wasn’t terrible. It just wasn’t—”

“Hot and sweaty?”

“Passionate.” I roll my eyes. “After our third year together, we were both working so hard that sex kind of faded into the background. We were working like crazy, and staying on top of everything was way more important than a romp in the sheets...Besides, sex can always get better with someone you love. You don’t dump someone just because it’s not ‘out of this world.’ You just work on it together.”

He doesn’t say anything. He just stares at me with a blank expression.

“You’d dump your girlfriend if the sex wasn’t good?” I scoff.

“I’ve never had a girlfriend.”

WHAT?! “Who’s lying now?”

“It’s the truth. I’ve never had one.”

Unbelievable... “Next thing you’ll tell me is that you’re a virgin.”

He blinks and my eyes widen.

“Wait, wait, wait.” I shake my head. “Are you? Are you a virgin?”

“A what?”

“A virgin.” I stare at him in shock. “That would actually explain a lot...A whole lot.”

“Would it really?” He stands up and walks over to me, leaning against the edge of the table.

“It would...You really are a virgin aren’t you?”

“Care to share how you could ever come to that conclusion?”

“Simple really.” I replay the past few days in my mind and realize that it really does make sense. He could really be a virgin “Well first of all, you flirted with me a lot on the plane and you said some outrageous sexual shit, but you admitted that you only did that because you thought you’d never see me again. Because you knew you’d never have to prove it, because you couldn’t due to your lack of experience.”

He raises his eyebrow, but I continue.

“The other night, when you asked me for a kiss, you just kissed me and that was it. No non-virgin would do something like that. He would at least try to take things a little further, try to touch me somewhere else.” This is all adding up and I almost feel silly for not picking up on this sooner. “And then last night, when we were in the middle of playing Never Have I Ever, you tried to make it seem like you were sooo good at sex. Typical virgin behavior. And you finger-f*cked me. Seriously? I haven’t been finger f**ked since I was in tenth grade...Oh, and it was by a guy who was also a virgin.”

“Are those all of your reasons?” He leans closer and blows a strand of hair away from my face.

“You need more? Everything I’ve said is pretty concrete.” I cross my arms. “Oh, and add in the fact that you’ve never had a girlfriend. That’s a dead ass give away...You know what else? I’m pretty sure you have a  p**n  collection buried underneath your lifetime supply of condoms. So if you’d like, we can watch a video together and I can explain sex to you. I can tell you all about it.”

He’s silent for a long time, simply looking at me—letting me know that I’m completely right about his virgin status. Then he suddenly grips me by my hips and lifts me up, setting me on top of the table.