My Kind of Christmas (Virgin River #20)(22)

“Aw, that’s nice of you to say. But a lot has changed in a few years. Lasik surgery for one thing—got rid of the big, thick, black-framed specs that kept sliding down my nose. Back in those days when things like clothes and hairstyles just eluded me, I’m pretty sure no one but my dad and uncle Jack found me pretty. I didn’t have that instinct the other girls had about style, about flirting. But, hey, I had great instincts about things like chemistry and astronomy.”

“Astronomy?”

“I have a kick-ass telescope. Unfortunately, I didn’t bring it this trip. But the boys were never interested in looking at stars—they wanted to look at boobs. Another advantage I didn’t have. Oh, and did I mention the pimples?” She laughed happily at that. “Oh, God, I’m so glad those days are over. Was there ever anything more painful?”

“This is coming from the girl who was in a disastrous car accident? Asking the guy who watched his buddy go down in a hornet…”

“I know, I know, but there was something about the pains we had as kids, the melodrama and agony over things that didn’t really matter but mattered so much just the same.... This other stuff of ours, it’s real. It’s a grown-up challenge and it does mean something and…”

He listened with his eyes closed. He’d known her for a day. A single day. She was everything he avoided—youth, innocence, inexperience. And she had everything he wanted—guts, wisdom and compassion. He’d seen this personality in certain military women. But there was something about Angie that stood out as unique. They’d each been through the wringer, yet she approached her challenges with relentless optimism. The lynchpin was probably that she had not lost her best friend.

He thought he was probably headed for trouble here. He wanted her.

“Angie,” he said. “We have complicated lives....”

“Oh, very. It’s nice, Patrick, to have a friend who relates.”

“Listen, Ange—we have things in common. We get along, have fun. You’re young, but you’re still a woman. Women pull this off without too much trouble, being friends with a guy. Men aren’t as good at it. And now I’m holding one of your secrets—your peace corps secret.”

“Oh, I can fix that,” she mumbled into the phone. He clearly heard her yawn. He could picture her, snuggled under the quilt in her warmest pajamas in front of the fire. They’d spent five hours together and now what were they doing? Talking into the night on the phone, still somehow connected? He hadn’t done this in too many years to remember.

“How?”

“Give me a secret,” she said. “Then we’ll be even.”

“It’s more complicated than just secret sharing,” he informed her.

“Start there,” she said. “I’m good with secrets.”

He was quiet for a moment, breathing into the phone. He could hear her breath, as well, and it felt like high school when he’d call the flavor of the week and romance her into the late night over the phone, a lot of which was just heavy breathing.

“Okay,” he finally said. “Here’s one for you. My best friend’s wife, um, widow, Marie—she’s great. She has it all—she’s pretty and nice and funny. She’s very strong and brave, though losing Jake has really been hard on her, but what else would you expect? When we were on a mission, she hardly ever complained—she missed him but she had a life. Her first priority was always family—she’s a great wife and mother.” He paused. “Was a great wife. And she was a great military spouse because she understood—the work her husband was doing was vital and everyone involved made sacrifices so that work could be done. The men and women who served, the spouses, the kids…

“I don’t know why I’m telling you this—you couldn’t possibly understand. You’re twenty-three—years away from thinking like this. But I’m older. I’ve had a couple of serious girlfriends that didn’t work out. The last one I was with for four years and even though in my gut I knew we were on different paths, I thought we’d last. I should’ve known better. But now, at thirty-three… Well, I think a little differently.

“I was with Jake when he met Marie and, man, it hit him like a Mack truck. Two years later I was his best man. Two years after that I stood as godfather to his son. And two years after that I…I helped Marie bury him.

“They’re my family, Angie. As much my family as Luke, Colin, Sean and Aiden. And here’s what I’d like you to keep to yourself—if my brothers found out I’ve been…” He took a deep breath. “Marie’s the reason I’ve been reconsidering the Navy. Jake asked me to look out for Marie and Daniel, make sure they’re taken care of, and Marie needs me. The truth is, I’ve always loved her. Not in an inappropriate way, not in a way that would have threatened her marriage, I swear to God. I loved her like a best friend. She has high standards, she’s loyal.”

He was answered with complete silence. Finally she said, “I’m, ah, speechless.”

“You probably think I’m crazy, but I’m just trying to think practically. I gave him my word. I told him I’d look out for Marie if anything ever happened to him. I made a promise, and I plan to keep it.”

“Do you suppose he meant for you to marry her?”