Music of the Soul (Runaway Train #2.5)(30)

The lie left a bitter taste in my mouth, but I wouldn’t have taken anything for the beaming smile that lit up Abby’s face. I dreaded the day that I had to disappoint her again.

Chapter Ten

Nine Months Later

Sometimes you spend so much time pretending that you forget what real is. That’s exactly what happened to me in the weeks following my surgery. The strong hold I had on being positive began to slip. The ‘what-ifs’ began to plague me, and anxiety sent me reeling. But while there was a storm brewing within me, I appeared calm and serene on the outside. No one would have ever guessed how much torment I was in. I had a smile permanently carved on my face although I was becoming hollow on the inside.

Everyone wanted the positive, happy, and sweet Abby, and that’s exactly what they got. I threw myself into touring and promoting our new album. When I was home, I worked constantly on making our house into a home for not only Jake and me, but for our family and friends. If I stopped for just an instant, the voices of doubt grew more intense. So I stayed as busy as I could.

But I knew there would be a breaking point—a reckoning day when it would all come crashing down on me. And when it finally came, I never imagined how heart-wrenching it would actually be…

“What do you think about this one?” I asked, as I held up a beautiful bouquet of delicate pink roses.

“Looks good,” Jake mumbled, barely taking his eyes off the magazine he was reading.

I grinned and rolled my eyes. Jake could have cared less what flowers we got for Lily and Brayden. He was completely out of his element in the hospital gift shop. He had zoned out the moment we stepped into the baby section, and while I was busy smelling flowers, he had ducked away to grab the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly.

“Okay then, we’ll get these for Lily and Brayden, and now we need something for the baby.”

Jake’s brows furrowed as he brought his gaze from the magazine to mine. “I thought we already gave them a present.”

I waved my hand dismissively. “That was at the baby shower. We can’t go in empty handed.”

With a sigh, Jake glanced at the shelf full of stuffed bears, rabbits, and other woodland creatures. He grabbed up a plush, white teddy bear with a giant pink bow on it. “There. Now we have something.”

“You can carry that, and I’ll take the flowers.”

“I’m not carrying this bear.”

“And why not?” I questioned on my way to the register.

“Because I’ll look like a pansy,” he hissed.

“You’ll look perfectly normal on the maternity floor.”

He grumbled behind me, but after the cashier rang up the bear, he took it back and tucked it under his arm. “Thank you,” I said.

He grinned. “You’re welcome.”

We headed out the door to get on the elevator. Brayden and Lily’s daughter had been born around midnight last night. While it was a wonderfully exciting occasion, it was also hard because we were set to leave this afternoon for the Southern leg of tour, which started in Alabama. Brayden would have to leave Lily and his newborn daughter behind for an entire week. Luckily, both his parents, along with Lily’s mom, were coming into town to help out.

We got off on the fifth floor, which was maternity, and quickly found Lily’s room. “Knock, knock,” I said, as I pushed the door open.

“Hi guys,” Lily said. Reclining on the bed with a mountain of pillows, she held a newborn to her chest. Jake’s steps momentarily faltered in the doorway when he thought Lily might be breastfeeding, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Coast is clear.”

He rolled his eyes. “Whatever,” he mumbled, although I could see the relief in his eyes.

As we stepped closer to the bed, I couldn’t believe how good Lily looked after just giving birth twelve hours before. Her smile was radiant as she glanced at her beautiful baby, swathed in a pink crocheted blanket I was sure Mia had made. “Brayden will be back any second. He took Jude and Melody to get an ice cream in the cafeteria.”

“And who do we have here?” I asked.

“This is Miss Lucy.”

“Well, that’s Lucy Sky to be exact,” Brayden said from behind us. He grinned as he and the kids came inside.

“Jesus, dude, another Beatles reference?” Jake asked.

Lily laughed. “He got lucky this time because my grandmother was Lucy.”

As I stared down at Lucy in Lily’s arms, I couldn’t fight the overwhelming urge to hold her. Deep down, I knew it wouldn’t be good for me, but I couldn’t help myself. “Can I?” I asked Lily.

“Of course,” Lily replied, as she passed Lucy over to me.

The sweet scent of newborn innocence filled my nose as I held Lucy. She continued snoozing as I took in her diminutive features. “She’s absolutely gorgeous,” I murmured.

“She looks just like me when I was a baby,” Melody said.

Jake peered over my shoulder at Lucy. “Yeah, she does.”

Brayden grinned. “She’s got Mel’s dark hair, that’s for sure.”

The door burst open to announce the arrival of AJ and Mia. While AJ held Bella in his arms, Mia had an armful of balloons and flowers. “We couldn’t wait to see the newest member of the Runaway Train family,” AJ said with a grin.