Moonlight Road (Virgin River #11)(95)

But it had happened again! The birth parents came to her for help and she was there for them! She was a good choice and totally prepared to raise their child and raise it as well as anyone could! As well as the Prentisses for sure!

She pulled the envelope out of the drawer and weighed it in her hand. She was so fond of Darla and Phil; they were the most wonderful people. It seemed like the biggest cheat in the universe that they hadn’t been able to have a baby of their own. All they wanted to make their lives complete was a child to shower their wonderful love on.

She put the envelope back in the drawer. It’s my baby! she thought vehemently. I found it! I found it just when I was needing it!

She pulled open the drawer and looked at the envelope sitting there. It had grown larger in size. Perfect health, good wholesome family life, lots of love, profound faith, wisdom and laughter and kindness beyond belief. They’d love a baby, but they weren’t going to be narrow-minded—another child could need them. And they had no children.

I have two children, she thought. Two healthy, happy, smart, beautiful children. Darla has never held a brand-new baby of her own close to her chest….

But I need one more. I need that one more! I need to feel that joy of motherhood one more time. I need that womanly purpose. And if I can’t watch my own belly grow, I can watch Marley grow with the baby! With my baby!

She closed the drawer. She slammed it closed. She put her head down on her desk. She felt pain in her throat and temples. Her stomach began to churn. I’m coming down with something, she thought.

It’s not your baby, a voice said. You want it to be your baby so much that you’ll steal it from two of the most decent, deserving prospective parents on earth. And you will do that because…?

“Because it’s what I feel I need,” she said aloud. Softly, but still aloud.

All she needed was a couple of weeks of silence, four at the outside, and it would be done. She would have successfully kept the Prentisses from knowing about the baby and the baby’s birth parents from knowing about the Prentisses. And even if the birth parents found out about the Prentisses, they might still choose Mel and Jack. No harm done.

A few weeks for the birth parents to choose Mel and Jack, who did not need a baby to soak up all the extra love in their hearts. Darla and Phil would find a child eventually. Or die with a lot of excess love in their hearts. And Phil had said it himself—there are worse things.

This isn’t who you are, Melinda, the voice said.

Then who the hell am I? she asked the voice. I’m just a woman like every other woman, a woman like Darla, a woman who wants to fulfill herself. It’s completely reasonable!

Reasonable, she thought. To try to force your husband to procreate with the help of a stranger to the tune of probably fifty thousand dollars even though you’ve already built a solid little family? To lie to him, to trick him into an adoption that fell into your lap? To manipulate him with anger to go along with your needs? To promise to assist a couple you love and admire—then hide their request so you could have more? Oh—reasonable. For a total nutcase.

She put the envelope on top of her desk. She grabbed her purse and medical bag and went into the reception area where Cameron was still at the computer. “I apologize—I think I’m coming down with something,” she said. “I need to go home. I’ll leave the Hummer for you in case there’s an emergency.”

“I’ll call Jack,” he said, getting to his feet.

“No, don’t. Let me take your car. I have a babysitter at home—I’ll keep her and lie down for a few hours. I’m sorry….”

“What’s wrong, Mel?” he asked, digging into his pocket for his keys. “Want me to drive you?”

“No. No, I just feel a bad headache coming on, a little nausea. I should just go home and lie down.” She took the keys. “I’ll be fine, just cover for me. Will you?”

“Well, sure. But…”

“I’ll check in later, if that’ll make you feel better. After I have a rest and some Advil or something. I’ll get your car back to you before end of business….”

“I’m not worried about that,” he said. “You’re pale and weird. Let me drive—”

“I’ll check in,” she said, cutting him off and going out the door.

At about one o’clock Cameron walked across the street to the bar to grab a sandwich. He jumped up on a stool and said to Jack, “How’s Mel?”

“Mel?” Jack asked. “You’d know that better than me.”

“She didn’t come by here? Before she went home? She didn’t call you?”

“What?” Jack asked. “What are you talking about?”

“She left a couple of hours ago—went home sick. She looked pretty bad, actually. Pale as a ghost. She took my car and left me the Hummer. I hope she didn’t have to pull over or anything.”

Jack just frowned.

“It came on real sudden. The Prentisses came in, brought in their adoption packet for her—I found it on the desk. Just minutes after they left, she took off. She said she thought it was a headache coming on, but in all the time I’ve worked with Mel—”

“Excuse me,” Jack said. He went to the swinging door that led to the kitchen, then came back through the bar on the way to the door. “Preacher will be right out to take care of you, Cam.” And he was gone.