Mile High (Up in the Air #2)(75)

I liked Lana, so I agreed as I dabbed on a bit of lipgloss with my finger, handing the tube back to her.

She smiled at me. “Good as new. James will want to get out of here asap. He’s in a rare state. He was expected to say a few words, but I’m familiar with the charity, so let him know I’ll step in for him. I’ll call you sometime this week.”

When I stood she enveloped me in a tight hug. I hugged her back, more than a little surprised by the affectionate gesture.

“God, I love that you’re as tall as me. I don’t feel like a giant around you. We have got to hang out,” she said with a smile as she pulled back.

James was practically pacing impatiently as we stepped out of the bathroom. He grabbed my arm in a death-grip as soon as I was within reach.

“Go on. I’ll make your excuses. Oh, and James, send me Bianca’s number. We’re going out to lunch, hopefully sometime this week,” Lana told him.

He gave her a grateful, if tense, smile. “Thanks, Lana. I owe you.” He began to lead me away, not pausing as he spoke. “The car is being brought ‘round. We can make a quick escape. I need to get out of here.”

Becoming almost twitchy with impatience, James led us out of the ball and into a waiting town car in a dizzying blur of activity. We exited into a tiny back alley where I saw no sign of photographers.

I sensed James withdrawing as the car began to move. When I gazed out the window I felt him studying me but when I turned back to look at him, he was gazing out of his own window, stone-faced.

I had endless questions that I needed answers to. I wanted to know what Jolene had lied about and what had been the truth. I hoped to god not all of it had been true. I wanted and needed, to know, but I was almost scared to hear his side of it, scared that our relationship wouldn’t survive the answers. And it didn’t help that I had no idea where to even begin.

We were nearly back to his building before I broke the silence. The feet that stretched between us on the seat felt like miles.

“You said you’d never been in a serious relationship before, but Jolene claims that you were with her for a year and two months, and that you continued to see her often, up until six weeks ago. Was she lying?”

He was silent for an unnervingly long time, his face unmoving as he stared out the window. “We’re almost to my building. We’ll talk about this inside.”

I didn’t like that answer. I knew that the only answer I would have liked would have been a quick and unhesitant, ‘yes, she was lying.’

The driver took us to the underground garage elevator and we disembarked from the car silently. James took my arm in a proprietary manner as we walked to the elevator, but didn’t even touch me once we were alone. It made a little ball of terrible black dread tie a knot in my belly.

He was deeply upset, and it had to do with what had happened in the bathroom. Was he upset about the questions I would ask? Was he troubled about how I would respond to his answers? Or was it something worse? I was starting to worry that it was something even more terrible, like he was about to break up with me altogether. Had the whole relationship idea finally sank in for him, and now he was realizing that it wasn’t what he wanted? Had seeing the lovely Jolene made him realize his mistake? A part of me had been expecting him to do something like that all the while.

“Can we talk in our bedroom?” James asked, finally breaking the silence as we neared the top floor of the building.

I studied him. He wouldn’t even look at me. I thought I might become physically ill. “We don’t have to move this quickly, James. We shouldn’t even be talking about moving in together yet, let alone actually doing it.” I’ve lost all of my pride, I realized. I was trying to reassure him that we could take a step back instead ending it altogether. Anything to keep him from saying what I feared he was thinking.

He sent me an almost stricken look, but quickly looked away, making me think I’d imagined it. “We’ll talk in our room,” he said. I wasn’t reassured.

The elevator reached his floor, and he led me up to his room without a word. I saw from a clock we passed that it was just past eleven o’clock. I was shocked that it wasn’t any later than that. A lot had happened in the last few hours. I thought of Lana Middleton. She had been a welcome distraction. “Do you know anything about Lana and Akira?” I asked James.

He still didn’t look at me. “Akira?” he asked. So he didn’t know, either.

“Never mind.”

He was walking first up the stairs to the floor of his bedroom. “Lana is the worst workaholic I know.

She makes me look like a slacker with my seven day work weeks. Everyone who knows her loves her, but even the socializing she does is for work.” His tone was impersonal as he mapped Lana out.

“She asked me to go to lunch,” I pointed out.

“That means she really likes you. I’m glad. She’s a very good friend, and she’s very discreet and nonjudgemental, so you won’t have to guard your words with her.”

I blinked, wondering if he meant that I could discuss us with her. “Does she know about your… preferences?” I asked finally.

“Not exactly. She knows that I have atypical sexual proclivities, and she knows that I used to sleep around too much, but I doubt she’s heard many more details than that. But I think she would be a good person for you to talk to, if you need that. As I said, she can be trusted with secrets, and she won’t… berate you for your own preferences. That’s just not her way.”