Midnight Sun (Twilight #1.5)(129)

I could understand her panic though; she couldn't walk across a room without tripping, falling, or running into something. The woods must seem like a mine field to her. She had nothing to worry about though, if she were to trip, I would gladly save her from hitting the ground. It would be so easy to place my hand lightly, gently, under her elbow as I helped her through the slippery forest floor. My new desire was pulsing through my skin, sending more electricity through my finger tips. This new - desire - was now adding to the constant pressure in my chest.

I fixed my eyes on her face, trying to comprehend the apparent terror in her eyes. Her expression altered numerous times, and instead of internally imploring my mind to finally perceive her thoughts, I decided I would simply make a request.

"What are you thinking?" I beseeched.

"Just wondering where we're going." She replied smoothly; she was hiding her fright.

I wanted to ease her mind a bit, so I provided a hint, "It's a place I like to go when the weather is nice."

I glanced out the window and she followed my gaze. The sky was still cloudy enough that my skin wasn't emitting rainbows.

"Charlie said it would be warm today," she mused.

Ah, Charlie. I remembered that she refused to tell him about our outing. Had she changed her mind about that?

"And did you tell Charlie what you were up to?" I asked.

"Nope," she said complacently.

Of course not. But, she did tell Jessica about us, and the trip - hadn't she?

"But Jessica thinks we're going to Seattle together?" I asked. If she told Jessica, then I would have to bring her back, for her family and mine.

"No, I told her you canceled on me - which is true," she reminded me.

I was suddenly angry. Didn't she want me to bring her back? She would be willing to follow a killer into the woods, alone, and not tell a single soul. I growled internally. Who would know it was me who didn't bring her back home? I didn't want to bring her back and she was eager to tempt me to do just that. The monster began clawing at my chest bones again and I was dangerously irate that she put me in this situation. Hadn't I suffered enough? I pulled myself together, for the most part, before I responded.

"No one knows you're with me?" I growled.

She looked smug, "That depends... I assume you told Alice?" she pondered.

She thought that Alice knowing would make me want to bring her back?

"That's very helpful, Bella," I snapped, but at the sound of her name exiting my lips the electricity flared up and that new creature sent a lump to my throat. This... desire; a longing; ripped through my body. I glared at her then and she was looking out the windshield like the conversation never took place, so nonchalant. Anger suddenly flared again.

"Are you so depressed by Forks that it's made you suicidal?" I hissed.

"You said it might cause trouble for you... us being together publicly," she reminded me.

Unbelievable! She was worried about my safety, "So you're worried about the trouble it might cause me - if you don't come home?" my voice rose on the last word.

She never looked away from the road, but nodded her head. She didn't look at all troubled about this!

Unbelievable, I muttered so low she couldn't understand me.

What could she possibly be thinking? Maybe she was sent here from my own personal hell to destroy me! Great - first her scent, then her ever growing presence in my life, and her unspoken thoughts; now she was essentially handing herself over to me on a silver platter. If I hadn't been continuously worried about my family she would have been dead when I first inhaled her heady scent. Now it was this precious soul in the car that I didn't want to destroy, and she was making it inconceivably hard not to. She was driving me to her demise.

Insane. It was the only word to describe her actions. Maybe masochistic?

Bella never took her eyes off the road. She must know that I was infuriated. The road did, though, inevitably end. There was a trail marked by a wooden sign; we would be going the opposite direction. She pulled the truck over, put it in park, and hoped out without one glance in my direction. I was immediately anxious that she didn't want to spend the rest of the day with me. Did I hurt her feelings? If she left me now - would I let her? Would she forgive me?

I pulled my sweater off and placed it in the truck. It was unnecessary for me to wear something that was supposed to bring warmth when I was a cold creature. I was secretly hoping that the sun would warm my skin when it eventually appears through the clouds. I shut the door harder then I intended. I turned towards the forest and quietly reminded myself, no mistakes.

"This way," I called to her.

I glanced over my shoulder to see her confused expression, "The trail?" she asked, terror in her voice. She had removed her sweater too, and it was tied securely around her waist.

"I won't let you get lost," I said with a mocking tone.

She continued to stare at me without moving. Was she frightened now? I couldn't tell for sure - was she about to run away? Run Bella, run, I thought, then added, stay Bella, stay. She still didn't move, and I was again asking myself the ever prominent question, what is she thinking? I remembered that the best way to break her from her dejection was to guess what she was thinking. She would correct me if I were wrong, so I asked, "Do you want to go home?" Pain broke through my voice without my permission.