Midnight Kiss (Virgin River #12)(64)

She’d sat there with him, forcing herself to breathe and smile and talk, but all she’d wanted was to turn and press into him. And finally she had.

The tears overflowed then. Elise rushed blindly toward her room, praying none of the other doors opened before she could get there.

Sadly, her assault on Noah James had been the most alive she’d ever felt. Powerful and feminine and recklessly alive. Sad, because despite her initial certainty that he’d been responding—really responding—Noah had pulled away. Sad, because she’d followed him and he’d been forced to push her back.

All those sparks, all that chemistry…it had only been Elise. He hadn’t felt it at all.

Another romantic failure. She moved through her love life like an awkward, gawky teen, lurching from one uncertainty to the next.

But at least she was good at her job. She liked being in control. She never let a goal slip from her grasp no matter what else she was juggling. As long as her goal wasn’t Noah, anyway.

Elise’s jaw was set as she let herself into her room, determined to put these messy emotions behind her. She’d have a shower, sober up, and crunch some numbers on her laptop. Then she’d take a quick nap and get back to work.

Elise started the shower and tossed her dirty clothes onto the closet floor. When she stepped back into the bathroom, it was already foggy with steam. She stood under the hot spray for a long time, cocooned by the wet heat that quickly filled the entire space. Forcing the rest of the world to fade away, Elise let herself think of that kiss. She took out the memory on rare occasions, handling it like a keepsake.

There had been a few awkward silences in their conversations that night, moments when they’d meet each other’s eyes and then look away. Elise had still been holding her breath after one of those moments when she’d slipped away to flee to the bathroom. There, she’d checked her makeup and fixed her hair and smiled nervously at her own reflection. Noah James was handsome and intimidating and out of her league, but she wasn’t going to let that stop her from hoping. He might make a move. He might offer to walk her back to her room. And even though they worked together…she’d let him.

Heart beating hard with excitement at her own pep talk, Elise had stepped into the dim hallway at the back of the bar…and right into Noah.

Eyes wide, he’d reached out both hands to steady her, and that touch had done something to her. Made her bold or brave or incredibly stupid. Elise had stepped forward, and he’d stepped back. There was no give in the narrow corridor, and when his back hit the wall, she’d stepped forward again, pressing her body to his. When his hands had tightened on her upper arms, she’d mistaken the emotion and risen on tiptoes to kiss him.

Wincing at the memory, Elise dipped her head and let the shower drown her in a curtain of hot water.

Despite her humiliation and embarrassment, she’d never been able to nullify the pleasure of that moment. The perfect taste of him, the incredible heat. She’d swept her tongue into his mouth and shivered when he’d responded. And he had responded, hadn’t he?

He’d opened his mouth, after all. He’d sighed. He’d rubbed his tongue over hers and slanted his head to delve deeper.

The kiss had seemed to last a thousand heartbeats, but it must have been just a few seconds. Still, it had been enough to wake something desperate inside her. Something strong and relentless and demanding to have its way.

Her moan must have startled him. Or the way she rubbed her body closer to his and wrapped her arms around his waist. Whatever she’d done it had spooked him, and while she was still trying to get inside him, Noah had broken the kiss and raised his head.

That hadn’t been enough of a hint. As his grip had tightened on her arms, Elise had pressed kisses to his jaw. She’d dragged her open mouth down his throat, sighing against his skin, pressing her teeth to his flesh.

“Elise,” he’d said.

“Noah,” she’d whispered back. “God, you feel so good.”

“We can’t do this.”

She’d been nodding when he’d finally forced her off. “Not here. My room.”

Her lust had kept her from seeing the horror in his eyes, but she couldn’t help but notice when he’d started shaking his head. “No. I can’t do this.”

“Why?”

“I have a girlfriend. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let you think…”

The power coursing through her had taken a moment to dissipate. She could picture how lust-dazed she must have looked as she stared in confusion. His taste had still been on her tongue.

“Oh,” she’d finally said. “Oh, of course.” Yet her arms had still circled his waist, her knee was still thrust between his. Disentangling herself had been the single most awkward moment of her life.

“I’m sorry, Elise. Really, but I don’t want to—”

“No big deal! I understand. Really. Sorry about that.”

Unable to take the hot water or the memories anymore, Elise reached blindly for the faucet and shut it off. The steam still surrounded her in a comforting blanket, so she wasn’t the least bit cold as she stepped out. The little bathroom felt like a dream world, so she didn’t bother to wipe off the mirror. She liked the white blankness of it as she dried off and rubbed lotion into her skin. She didn’t want to watch her reflection and worry over the same imperfections that every woman did. Too much here, not enough there. Screw it. Her body had nothing to do with her romantic problems. It was her awkward tomboy insides that threw everybody off balance.