Midnight Angel (Stokehurst #1)(49)

“I must have done it,” Tasia sobbed. “I dream about it all the time. I wake up wondering if I'm remembering or imagining. S-sometimes I think I'm going mad. I did hate Mikhail. I spent weeks in a prison cell thinking about that, knowing I deserved to be executed. The thought is as bad as the deed, don't you see? I prayed for acceptance, for humility, until my knees were bruised from the floor, but it didn't work…I still wanted to live…I couldn't stop myself from wanting it.”

“What happened then?” Luke asked, lacing his fingers through hers.

“I took a sleeping draught in prison, to make everyone think I was dead. They filled the coffin with sand, and there was a funeral, while I…I was brought to England by my Uncle Kirill. But there were rumors that I was still alive. Government officials decided to have my body exhumed, to settle the matter. When they discovered that the coffin was empty, they realized I had escaped. That was why Uncle Kirill sent a message to the Ashbournes.”

“Who is looking for you?”

Tasia was silent, gazing down at their linked hands.

Charles rearranged himself in a more comfortable position in his chair. The creases on his face had relaxed, as if he were relieved at being able to confide the whole story to someone. Even as a schoolboy, Charles had hated to keep secrets. He wasn't very good at it. Everything showed on his face. “It's a rather complicated question,” Charles said to Luke. “The imperial government has so many secret divisions and special sections of law enforcement that no one really knows who's responsible for what. I've read Kirill's letter a dozen times, trying to make sense of everything. It seems that Tasia has not only committed a civil offense, she has now broken the criminal code by undermining respect for the sovereign authority—a political crime punishable by death. The imperial government doesn't care about justice. It cares about the appearance of order. Until Tasia is executed in a public display, the enemies of the tsar will use her as a means to ridicule the crown, the corps of gendarmes, the ministry of the interior—”

“And you think they would actually follow Tasia here and bring her back to Russia?” Luke interrupted. “Just to make a point?”

“No, they wouldn't go that far,” Tasia said in a low voice. “As long as I remain in exile, I'm safe from them. The problem is Nikolas.” Luke watched her blot her wet cheeks with her sleeve, and the childlike gesture wrung his heart. He waited silently for her to go on, although he was simmering with impatience. “Nikolas is Mikhail's older brother,” she continued dully. “The Angelovskys want revenge for Mikhail's death. Nikolas is looking for me. He'll find me if it takes the rest of his life.”

Suddenly the compassion on Luke's face was stamped out by arrogant confidence. If all they were concerned about was Nikolas Angelovsky, that was a problem easily solved. “If he does, I'll send him straight back to Russia.”

“Just like that,” Tasia said with a frown.

Luke smiled slightly, envisioning some pampered prince in satin knee breeches. “There's nothing to worry about.”

“If you knew Nikolas, you would understand the cause for concern.” Tasia pulled her hand away and withdrew to the corner of the settee. “I have to leave, before you make everything worse. You would never understand someone like Prince Angelovsky, or what lengths he would go to. Now that Nicholas knows I'm alive, it's only a matter of time until he finds me. He doesn't have the choice to stop, even if he wanted to. Everything he is, blood, history, family, compels him to make me pay for what I did to his brother. He is a powerful, dangerous man.” As Luke tried to speak, she forestalled him with a stilted gesture and turned to Charles and Alicia. “Thank you for everything you've done, but you mustn't involve yourselves any further. I will find a new place by myself.”

“Tasia, you can't disappear without letting us know where you're going,” Alicia cried. “Please let us help you!”

Tasia stood and smiled with loving regret. “You've been wonderful to me, cousin. You've helped me as much as anyone could have. Now I have to manage on my own. Spaséeba.” Her expression was shuttered as she glanced at Luke, but he sensed her fatigue, her need for comfort…He saw the price she had already paid for survival. Words seemed to fail her, and she turned away abruptly.

The men stood in unison as she left the room. Luke began to follow her, but he was stopped by Alicia's voice.

“Let her go.”

Luke swung around with a scowl. He was exasperated, angry, eager to do battle. “Did I miss something?” he inquired acidly. “Angelovsky is only a man. He can be dealt with. There's no reason to let fear of him ruin the rest of her life.”

“He's barely human,” Alicia said. “Prince Nikolas and I are third cousins. I know quite a bit about the Angelovskys. Would you like to hear what kind of people they are?”

“Tell me everything,” Luke muttered, staring at the empty doorway.

“The Angelovskys are complete Slavophiles. They hate everyone who isn't Russian. Their family is connected to the royal house by marriage. They are among the wealthiest landholders in Russia, with property scattered over a dozen provinces. I'd guess they own approximately two million acres or more. Nikolas's father, Prince Dmitri Sergeyevich, murdered his first wife because she was barren. Then he married a peasant girl from Minsk. She bore him seven children; five girls and two sons. The children were beautiful, exotic…and primitive. None of them has spent a minute of their lives bothering about abstract things like principles or ethics or honor. They act on instinct. I've heard that Nikolas is just like the Old Prince, very brutal and cunning. If a wrong is done to him, he'll repay it a hundredfold. Tasia is right—he doesn't have the choice of whether to seek revenge. In Russia they have a saying: ‘Another's tears are like water.’ It suits the Angelovskys to perfection. There's no mercy in their nature.” Alicia turned to Charles's protective embrace with a miserable sigh. “Nothing will stop Prince Nikolas.”