Mid Life Love (Mid Life Love #1)(84)

“I can see that. Maybe someday I’ll have one here...”

I stilled.

It was moments like this that the insecurities I’d managed to bury crawled out of the ground and laughed in my face. I knew damn well that this fling wouldn’t last forever, that we weren’t meant to be together, but there were small instances that made those facts more apparent, more glaring.

And anytime those instances came up, the confidence I’d built up quickly crumbled into a million little pieces.

“Can I be frank with you for a few seconds, Jonathan?”

“You’re asking for permission to speak?”

I sighed. “You just reminded me of a reason why I shouldn’t be with you.”

“Come again?”

“You and I should end this before it gets—”

“Before it gets what?” He set his glass down and narrowed his eyes at me.

“You just said you wanted to have a family of your own here one day and I can’t give you that... Ever. My tubes are tied and even if I were to get that reversed, it’s pretty risky for someone at my age to...Anyway, we’re not that serious about each other so I don’t know why I even—” I sighed. “I think we should go back to the strictly sex thing that we had before. I don’t want to hold you back from enjoying your twenties. I definitely enjoyed mine and I want you to do the same. After we get done having sex tonight, take me home and we can try to put whatever this is back to where it once was...”

He stared at me, blinking slowly as if he was trying to process everything I’d said. I braced myself for his rebuttal, but he simply rolled his eyes and downed the rest of his wine.

He strolled over to me and pulled me out of my chair. He placed his arms around my waist and pressed his forehead against mine. “One, I’ve never had any desire to have kids of my own. Never. Two, when I said I wanted a family here, I was referring to one that would rent out this house because I’m putting it on the leasing market at the end of the year. Three, you should’ve told me that your tubes were tied a long time ago. I would’ve stopped buying so many f**king condoms. And four, you’ve never struck me as the insecure type so I’m not sure why you’ve been backpedaling so much lately, but let me make this clear: I am serious about you. I am enjoying my twenties. We’re not going back to a strictly physical relationship, and I’m not taking you home until tomorrow. Are we clear?”

“Yes...” I whispered and felt my heart skip a beat.

“Good. Let’s take a shower.”

“Together?”

“Of course not.” He released me from his arms. “I’ll take mine upstairs and you’ll take yours downstairs. As soon as we’re done, I’ll tuck you into bed and kiss you goodnight.”

Before I could fire back, he clasped my hand and led me out of the parlor and up the grand staircase. He twisted the doorknob to a black door and pulled me inside a massive bathroom.

Wow...

It was the size of my living room five times over; the crystallized glass shower alone was the size of my office. From its windows, I could see that there was a wet bench that wrapped around its insides, a sleek entertainment system that was embedded into the wall, and rotating panels with water jets that hung from the ceiling.

Across the room, was a marble spa tub that looked like it was meant to be a wave pool. And on the back wall, an open sauna puffed steam across the room’s sparkling white floors.

I stepped forward and ran my fingers against the marble countertop. Curious, I reached out to touch the quartz-like material that surrounded the wall length mirror, but I felt Jonathan wrapping his arms around me from behind.

“You frustrate the shit out of me, Claire.” He looked at me in the mirror, sighing. “That said, I can’t get enough of you for some reason...Every time I think that you’ve almost accepted us, you come up with some new ridiculous reason to pull away...”

“Well, you’re not exactly the—”

“Shhh...” He spun me around and kissed my lips. “You’re not allowed to talk tonight.” He slowly lifted my shirt over my head. “But you can scream as loud as you want to.” He kissed me again and my heart started beating faster.

Looking into my eyes, he slowly pulled the silver clip I was wearing out of my hair. He tossed it onto the floor with my shirt and began unsnapping my bra.

He unclasped my pants and let them fall into a pool on the floor. Then he stepped back and looked at me, really looked at me, as if he were regarding something valuable, something he genuinely cared about.

He bent down and lifted my feet up one at a time, carefully slipping my heels off. He moved the shoes to the side and delicately kissed his way up my legs, stopping once he reached my waist. He held me steady as he ran his tongue above the outline of my lace panties, pressing soft, warm kisses against my skin.

As he slid my panties down to the floor, my body became a quivering mess.

He hadn’t touched or kissed me since that day he told me about the “promise” and I was suddenly feeling nervous.

“Why are you shaking?” He stood up and brushed his fingers against my lips. “I’m going to make it perfect for you.”

“Make what perfect?” I barely managed.

“You’re not supposed to talk, Claire.” He ran his fingers through my hair. “If you say anything else, I’ll have to punish you. Are we clear?”