Mid Life Love: At Last (Mid Life Love #2)(66)

“Claire—”

“No.” I didn’t give her a chance for a rebuttal. “I want you to know that I am engaged to the man of my dreams—the man of my f**king dreams. He is everything I could ever want in a man and so much more than Ryan could ever be. And even though I had to lose Ryan to find him, I didn’t need to lose him the way that I did—the way you took him from me.”

“I’m sorry...”

“You ruined my happily ever after, Amanda. And it wasn’t a one-time thing either. This was going on for months! Behind my back! How could you even live with yourself back then? How could you smile at me and hang out with me knowing damn well that you...” I couldn’t look at her without getting angry, and I suddenly felt my hand twitching. “You let me hang out with you with no f**king remorse whatsoever—you just let me go about my life as if nothing was going on. But the whole time you knew! You knew what the f**k was going on and you just—”

Before I could complete the bitch-slap of the century, I felt someone grabbing my wrist from behind and holding it still. Jonathan.

I saw Amanda squinting her eyes shut as if she were still waiting for my hand to connect with her cheek, then I slowly turned around to face Jonathan.

His eyebrow was raised and the look on his face was one of confusion, uncertainty—disappointment.

“Step outside, Claire.” He wiped a tear away from my face. “Now.”

I didn’t even bother looking back at Amanda. I wanted to remember her face how it was seconds ago for the rest of my life.

Cowardly bitch....

I stepped outside and headed into the ladies’ restroom that was next door. Frustrated, I leaned over the sink and splashed my face with water over and over again.

“I really didn’t mean to push you...” Ryan cleared his throat, startling me and forcing me to turn around.

“Stay the hell away from me, Ryan. I’m not in the mood for any more of your bullshit and you’ve caused enough trouble. Go comfort your wife.” I strolled past him, but he grabbed my elbow and pressed me against the wall.

“Listen...” There were tears in his eyes. “I didn’t expect you to come see her, but thank you. Regardless of if you forgave her or not, I think you coming here meant a lot to her. And to me.”

“You really do need professional help...” I tried to move away, but he was pinning me against the door.

“For the record, it was just lust, Claire—what she and I had. It eventually grew into love, but...”

“I honestly don’t give a f**k about you or her. I don’t know how many ways I can possibly say it, but if you could just...” I looked at his arms and darted my eyes to the door. “Just let me go so I can leave.”

“Not until you listen to me.”

I sighed. If my legs weren’t so stiff, I would’ve attempted to break free and run for the door, but I knew there was no way I’d get past him.

“Ryan...” I sighed again for emphasis. “There are priests all over this city who are willing to listen to your problems for free. Find one of them because I don’t have the time.”

“I would like a second chance with you, Claire.”

The earth fell away at my feet and I lost the ability to speak.

I was shocked. Blown Away. Disgusted.

“You heard me...” He brought his face close to mine. “A second chance. You and me. It can be calm and easy again. I know it because that’s who we were.”

“The moment I lost you I felt empty,” he continued. “I had no idea that you would pack up and leave the way you did. I mean, just because I said that I’d always had feelings for Amanda, didn’t mean that I didn’t have any left for you. I was just...in a tough spot in my life. I thought you would at least reconsider the divorce, but you just...You filed the very next day. I wasn’t expecting that...”

“Ryan...” I barely managed. “Stop it...Stop it right now.”

“Everything happened so fast...Months later you moved all the way out here and you just cut me off like I was—”

“Worthless? Pathetic? Full of shit?”

“You were just angry.” He pressed his thumb over my lips. “And you had every right to be...But people make mistakes Claire...I tried making it work with Amanda—I did the right thing and I married her but...All we ever did the first year and a half was talk about how guilty we felt over what we did to you.”

I tried my hardest to block him out. I didn’t want to hear the rest of this shit. I didn’t care.

“You know I never meant to push you down those steps...” he said as he cupped my chin. “And even though your new fiancée got me fired and blacklisted me from every single firm in Pittsburgh...I think that you and I could rebuild what we had again. I have enough saved up and I really believe that. Amanda is talking about divorce for the fifth time and I think she finally means it...Can’t you see? Our lives weren’t worth much without you in it—which is exactly why you should take me back. I know how badly you’ve missed me, because I’ve missed you too.”

I felt my eyes widening as far as they could go. This was a painful sight to see, but for some reason I couldn’t look away.

“What the two of us had was special...” He caressed my cheek with the back side of his palm. “It was something I’ve never felt before. All these years I’ve wished that I could go back in time and change what I—”