Mid Life Love: At Last (Mid Life Love #2)(13)

“Do you know why he would bother coming to San Francisco?”

I shook my head. There was nothing here for him.

“Hmmm.” He pulled me close and kissed my hair. “I’ll make sure he never bothers you again.”

I wanted to ask, “How?” but I knew he would handle it. I leaned against him and sighed as he led me over to the passenger side of his car.

“Since you’re finally leaving work on time today, what would you like for dinner?” He revved up the engine and looked over at me.

“You.”

“That’s implied.” He grinned. “We can order something in.”

He pulled off and sped onto the highway, making me smile at how perfect my life was right now, how everything I wanted and needed was sitting next to me in this car.

As I looked out my window and watched the city disappear in the distance, I tried not to think about Ryan’s visit, but I couldn’t help it.

Outside of scheduling time to see our daughters, Ryan hadn’t bothered me any other year that I’d been living here. He knew not to, and I didn’t need my painful past colliding with my perfect present. Ever.

It has to be something really serious for him to come here...No, f**k him. It doesn’t matter what it is...

Chapter 1.5

Claire

Summer 2009

“You didn’t see any of this coming, Claire?” My next door neighbor Andrea handed me a box. “There had to be signs.”

“No. There weren’t any signs...” I gritted my teeth.

“I’m sorry...I just—”

“You just what?”

“Amanda’s a really good person...”

“Are you f**king kidding me, Andrea? I asked you over so you could help load up my car, not stand there and defend that ho-bag.”

She sighed. “I’m sorry...I just thought you would’ve been a little suspicious...”

“Suspicious about what?”

“The two of them hanging out so much maybe?” She placed the girls’ blankets into my trunk and shut it. “Michael and I thought something was up when the three of you came to our Christmas party last year...They spent an awful lot of time on our patio...”

“Thank you, Andrea.” I tried not to roll my eyes. “That’s what I really need to hear right now. You know what? Say it again so I can feel even better.”

She pulled me into her arms and hugged me tightly. “I’m only saying it because...I never really liked Ryan, Claire. I’ve always thought that you could do better—so much better...I’m not happy at all about what happened to you, and if I could kill them both and get away with it I would.” Her voice cracked. “I’ve just been trying to change your mind about moving but...Keep yourself safe in San Francisco, okay? I want you to find someone who actually deserves you.”

I nodded and slowly let myself out of her embrace. I tried to hand her the two thousand dollar check she’d given me earlier, but she refused to take it and walked away—crying.

I forced a lump down my throat and slipped into my Audi Q7 with my daughters, heading straight for the highway, for my new life.

“You had to see the signs, Claire...You had to see the signs...”

I hadn’t. I really hadn’t.

How could I when Ryan was so f**king wonderful? So f**king perfect.

And Amanda was—she was my best friend.

I drove down the interstate and flipped through all my memories—birthdays, get-togethers, anniversaries—and in every last one the two of them were right by my side as always. I thought back to more recent memories as I crossed over the state line, and then a couple ones started to stick out—a couple ones that I would have never second guessed before...

Three months ago...

“Death by falling off a building or drowning in the ocean?” I threw a peanut M&M at Ryan.

“Falling off a building.”

“What? Why?”

“It would be an instant death once my body hit the concrete. Drowning takes way too long. Plus, there’s no guarantee my body would be found if I died in the ocean. I want my body to be in the casket after I die.”

I nodded at his logic and looked up at the bright, blue sky.

We were sitting in the grass at Frick Park, enjoying a small breakfast picnic together. We’d been coming to this park once a month ever since we were in high school, ever since he admitted that he was in love with me and wanted to marry me someday.

“Okay, wait.” I looked over at him again. “I have another one: Which is worse? An emotional affair or a physical affair?”

He paused before answering, then he looked into my eyes. “Emotional. It’s easier to cut off sex. Feelings never go away—no matter how hard you try to bury them...”

“That makes perfect sense...So, let’s say your wife is having an affair. Would you rather it be with a stranger or with your best friend?”

“What?”

“Would you rather lose your wife to a stranger or to your best friend?” I threw another M&M at him.

“Jesus, Claire. What type of question is that?”

“You’ve asked me much worse before.” I shuddered, thinking about the time he’d asked me whether I’d rather have sex in front of twenty people or get gangbanged by three guys in private.