Memory in Death (In Death #22)(91)

"You've been through some hard knocks. Survivors of violence don't always understand the full extent of the stress they're under. Talking to me, well, even though Bobby and I go back, you're still talking to a cop. But if you think it's out of line, then—"

"No, God. It's so thoughtful of you. I've just been wandering around here, most of the night. No one to talk to. I've never talked to a counselor before. I don't know where to start."

"Why don't we sit down?" Mira suggested. "Your husband's condition has improved?"

"Yes. They said he'll need to stay in the hospital another day, maybe two, then we can go to out-patient status. I don't really understand all the medical terms."

"I can help you with that, too."

"Look, I'll be in the kitchen. I'll get the coffee, get out of the way."

"I don't mind if you stay," Zana told Eve. "You know everything."

"I'll get the coffee anyway, give you a minute."

Eve moved across the room, into the narrow alcove. And gee, she thought, if she pushed the wrong buttons on an unfamiliar AC unit, who could argue?

She could hear Zana's voice, the thickness in it of suppressed tears. Oh, you're good, she decided. But I'm better.

She ran a quick scan, replaying orders over the last twenty-four hours.

Cheese, raspberries, popcorn—extra butter. Bet somebody watched vids last night, Eve thought. And a hearty breakfast this morning: Ham omelette, toast, coffee, and orange juice.

She programmed for coffee, then eased open the minifriggie. Bottle of red wine, she noted. Maybe two glasses left in it. Soft drinks. Frozen nondairy dessert, double chocolate—half gone.

Trauma and tragedy didn't seem to be affecting Zana's appetite.

When she came back with the coffee, Zana was mopping at her face with a tissue. "It's just one thing after the next," she told Mira. "I can't find my balance, I guess. We were coming here to have fun.

Bobby wanted to treat me to a trip, to somewhere exciting I'd never been. Part of my Christmas present since his mama was so hot to come, you know. To talk to Eve, after all the years. And then, everything's been so awful."

She began to shred the tissue so pieces of it fell like snow into her lap. "Poor Bobby, he's been trying to be so strong, and now he's hurt. I just want to make it easier on him. Somehow."

"I'm sure you are, just by being there for him. Still, it's important that you look after yourself as well, and let yourself grieve for a woman you were close to. To go through that process, Zana. And to get rest, keep your health."

"I can't even think of myself right now. How can I?"

"I understand. It's human to put ourselves to one side at times of crisis. Especially for women to do so," Mira added and gave Zana's hand a pat. "Bobby will need you, emotionally and physically in the days and weeks to come. It's difficult—thank you, Eve—it's difficult to lose a parent, any family member.

But to lose one through violent means adds another layer, even more stress and grief. You've both had a shock, several in fact. I hope when you're able to go back to Texas, you'll find someone there to talk to. I can certainly give you a list of recommendations for counselors in your area."

"I'd so appreciate that. I wouldn't even know where to start. I've never talked to a counselor before."

"You didn't go to grief counseling when your mother died?" Eve asked.

"Oh, no. I didn't even think about it. It's just not the kind of thing I was raised to think about, I guess.

I just... I don't know, went on, I guess. But this is different, I can see that. And I want to do what's best for Bobby."

"Then you will."

"If I could have a minute, Zana. We're having trouble with the numbers you gave us. The ones your abductor made you memorize."

"I don't understand."

"We're not finding anything with those numbers. Actually, there are too many numbers. Do you think you could've gotten them mixed up, or added some?"

"Oh, I don't know." Her hands fluttered up from her lap. "I was so sure. I kept repeating them over and over, like he said to. I even said them in my head after... after he left. But I was so scared.

What should we do? What can I do?"

"We could try hypnosis." Eve took a sip of coffee, met Mira's eyes over the cup. "That's another reason I brought Dr. Mira by today, so you could meet her, feel comfortable with her if we went this route.

Dr. Mira often assists the department with this kind of thing."

"It could be helpful." Mira picked up the ball. "We could, under hypnosis, take you back to the abduction, take you through it, while making certain you feel safe and secure."

"Oh, I don't know. I just don't know. Hypnosis." She reached up, tangling her fingers in the trio of thin gold chains she wore around her neck. "I don't know. The idea scares me some. I need to think about it. It's hard right now to think of anything but Bobby."

"It would be a way to help us find whoever killed Bobby's mother." Eve pressed a little harder. "And knowing the person responsible has been identified, apprehended, and will pay for what was done helps the healing process. Dr. Mira?"