Melody of the Heart (Runaway Train #4)(71)

It had been a hell of a day. Well, if I was honest with myself, it had been a hell of a few months. But today had us sitting in plush leather chairs in the office of Pediatric Neurologist, Dr. Peter Robsten. After our pediatrician had been unable to diagnose what was wrong, we had come to Emory desperate for answers as to what was wrong with our Lucy. She had been through a gamut of testing, which was terribly intense for a fifteen month old.

Then Dr. Robsten gave us the diagnosis we had been expecting to hear: Sensory Perceptive Disorder with Sensory defensiveness, which basically meant she experienced SPD with defensive actions to sound and touch. Although we had a name to go with what our fears and research on the internet had uncovered, it still didn’t give us a clear plan ahead on how to raise Lucy.

With the door to Lucy’s room already cracked, I slipped inside. Standing beside Lucy’s crib, Lily looked like an angel in the moonlight with her white, gauzy gown and flowing blonde hair. I came up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist. After kissing her neck, I said, “I woke up, and you were gone.”

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“Babe,” I murmured.

When she turned back to me, tears glistened in her eyes. “I just kept lying there, searching my mind for what I did differently with her that I didn’t with Jude and Melody. Was it because I didn’t breast feed her as long? Was it because she was on the bus so much when she was just an infant? Was it because I gave her those vaccines on time? I mean, we were back and forth on the road with Jude and Melody, so they didn’t get theirs until they were a few months older.” Her agonized gaze went back to Lucy. “What was it I did wrong?”

A sob tore through Lily’s chest. The sound caused Lucy to stir in her cocoon of downy pink blankets. Wrapping my arm around her waist, I drew Lily to me. When she began to cry harder, I led her out of the bedroom. I steered her down the hall and back to our room and onto the bed.

Pushing her long hair out of her face, I stared into her eyes. “I want you to listen to me. There is nothing that you did wrong that caused Lucy to have a sensory disorder. Things like this happen. It isn’t a punishment for us or for Lucy. It’s just something we have to handle.”

“Deep down, I know that. I just want someone or something to blame. She’s just a baby. She doesn’t deserve to have to go through so much.”

I shook my head. “While I agree that is unfair that Lucy is going through this, I’m not going to let you beat yourself up. You’re the best mother in the entire world. No one has sacrificed for her children as much as you have.”

“Thank you, Brayden,” she murmured before she leaned forward to kiss me.

“Do you feel better now?”

She shrugged. “Aren’t you scared?”

Taking her hands in mine, I gave her a small smile. “I’m terrified.”

“That makes me feel a little better,” she admitted.

My brows shot up in surprise. “Really? I thought I was always supposed to be the strong as steel man.”

“I like it when you’re strong, but I also like it when I know that you’re struggling just like I am.”

“Just don’t forget for one minute that we’re in this together. You don’t have to go through this alone. I’m here for you.”

“I think I love you more right now that I have our entire time together,” she said, with tears pooling in her eyes.

“I love you, too, baby.” I kissed her once again. “Come on, let’s get some sleep.”

And then I drew her in my arms, and we lay back together. I felt the safest, the securest, and the most loved when I held Lily in my arms.

BRAYDEN

THE PRESENT

It wasn’t long before Lily rejoined us. “Everything okay?” I asked.

She smiled. “Just a minor meltdown due to some of the noises on one of the video games the boys were playing. She’s got her headphones on now and is watching a movie. She’s fine.” Lily turned her attention from me over to Giovanni. “I guess Brayden explained about Lucy in my absence.”

“Yes, he did. As a parent of a five year old, I would have to say that you guys are doing amazing with her, as well as your other children.”

“Thank you. That means a lot.”

“Well, I think that just about wraps it up.” Giovanni put his notepad into his briefcase and rose off the couch. “Once again, I cannot thank you two enough for allowing me to sit down with you. I have such a good feeling about this article. I think the entire issue is going to be a hit.”

Lily flushed a little at his words while I merely laughed. “Here’s hoping our story can sell some copies.”

“Oh, I’m sure it will.” Giovanni glanced between us. “You two still don’t quite understand what an amazing thing you have, do you?”

Taking Lily’s hand in mine, I brought it to my lips. “Trust me, I think we get it.”

Giovanni smiled. “I’m glad to hear that.” As he started over to the door, he said, “Best of luck. I’ll see you tomorrow at the wedding.”

“Thanks again for coming,” Lily said, as she showed him to the door.

When he was gone, I collapsed back onto the sofa. “Oh no, don’t get comfortable. We have exactly forty-five minutes before we have to meet the others for the rehearsal.”