Maybe Someday (Maybe #1)(73)

Much better.

I hit it over and over and watch as pieces fly in all directions. I’m also leaving a hefty amount of damage on the bar beneath my mangled computer, but I don’t give a shit. Countertops are replaceable. What this computer destroyed of Maggie isn’t.

When there isn’t much left of the computer to destroy, I finally drop the hammer on the bar. I’m out of breath. I turn and slide down to the floor with my back against the cabinets.

Warren walks around me and sits on the floor in front of me, resting his back against the wall behind him. “Feel better?” he signs.

I shake my head. I don’t feel better, I just feel worse. Now I know for a fact that it’s not the laptop I’m mad at. It’s me. I’m mad at myself.

“Anything I can do to help?”

I ponder his question. The only thing that could help me get Maggie back is to prove to her that there’s nothing going on between me and Sydney. In order to prove that to her, I need to not have any interaction with Sydney whatsoever. That’s kind of hard with her in the very next room.

“Can you help Sydney move?” I sign. “Today?”

Warren lowers his chin at my request, eyeing me with disappointment. “Today? Her apartment won’t be ready for three more days. Besides, she needs furniture, and what we ordered this morning isn’t even being delivered until the day she moves in.”

I pull my wallet out of my pocket and remove my credit card. “Take her to a hotel, then. I’ll pay for her room until her apartment is ready. I need her out in case Maggie comes back. She can’t be here.”

Warren takes my card and stares at it for several seconds before bringing his eyes back to mine. “This is kind of a shitty move considering this is your fault. Don’t expect me to be the one to ask her to leave today. You owe her that much.”

I have to admit, Warren’s reaction surprises me. Yesterday he seemed to hate Sydney. Today he’s acting as if he’s protecting her. “I already told her I need her to leave today. Do me a favor, and make sure she gets moved in okay this week. Get her anything she needs. Groceries, extra furniture, Whatever.”

I’m beginning to stand up when the door to Sydney’s room opens. She’s walking out backward, pulling both of her suitcases. Warren scrambles to his feet next to me, and as soon as she turns around and her eyes lock with mine, she freezes.

The guilt over what I’m having her do hits me when I see the tears in her eyes. She doesn’t deserve this. She hasn’t done anything to deserve all that I’ve put her through. The way it makes me feel to know I’ve hurt her is exactly why I need her to leave, because I shouldn’t care this much.

But I do. God, I care about her so much.

I break eye contact with her and look back to Warren. “Thank you for helping her,” I sign. I head back to my room, not wanting to watch Sydney walk out the front door. I can’t imagine losing both her and Maggie in the course of a few hours, but it’s actually happening.

Warren grabs my arm as I pass him, forcing me to turn and look at him. “You aren’t even going to tell her good-bye?” he signs.

“I can’t tell her good-bye when I don’t really want her to leave.” I continue toward my room, thankful that I can’t hear the sound of the front door closing behind her when she leaves. I don’t know if I could take it.

I pick up my phone and lie down on my bed. I pull up Maggie’s number and send her a text.

Me: I’ll give you however much time you need. I love you more than you even realize. I’m not going to deny anything I said to Sydney, because it was all true, especially the parts about you and how much I love you. I know you’re hurt, and I know I betrayed you, but please. You have to know how much I’ve fought for you. Please don’t end us like this.

I hit the send button and pull the phone to my chest.

Then I f**king cry.

21.

Sydney

“Let me get those,” Warren says as he bends to pick up my suitcases. He carries them down the steps, and I follow him. Once we make it to his car, I realize I don’t even know where I’m going. I haven’t thought this far ahead. As soon as Ridge told me he needed me to leave today, I just packed my things and walked out without even a plan for what I’m going to do for the next three days. My new apartment isn’t ready, but I’m wishing I could be in it. I want to be as far away as I can get right now from Ridge and Maggie and Warren and Bridgette and Hunter and Tori and everything and everyone.

“Ridge wants me to take you to a hotel until your apartment is ready, but is there anywhere else you’d rather go?”

Warren is now sitting in the driver’s seat, and I’m in the front passenger’s seat. I don’t even remember us getting into his car. I turn and look at him, and he’s just staring at me. The car hasn’t even been cranked yet.

God, I feel so pathetic. I feel like a burden.

“It’s laughable, isn’t it?” I say.

“What?”

I gesture to myself. “This.” I lean my head against the headrest and close my eyes. “I should just go back home to my parents. I’m obviously not cut out for this.”

Warren sighs. “Not cut out for what? College? Real life?”

I shake my head. “Independence in general, really. Hunter was right when he told me I’d be better off living with him than on my own. He was right about that, at least. I’ve been in Ridge’s life less than three months, and I’ve successfully ruined his entire relationship with Maggie.” I look out the window, up to his empty balcony. “I’ve also ruined his entire friendship with me.”