Mathilda, SuperWitch (Mathilda's Book of Shadows #1)(87)

I mean, I was The Chosen One so I got to be the diva, thank-you-very-much.

“Okay, I fell asleep,” I told The Gathering. “Ex-ka-youse me!” I turned to Prunella and the Unicorn. “I’m sorry but I’m the one whose eight year old Spellbound was kidnapped thus beginning probably years of counseling.”

I whipped around to face Endora.

“I’m the one who was struck by lightning… three times!” I jerked my thumb at my chest.

I then whipped around again to face the vampire.

“I’m the one who was shot at while saving an oracle who, incidentally, had her magic and sight stripped in some seriously foul ceremony, that, while we’re here, may I say, should be banned.”

I turned to the sorceress.

“Last but not least, I’m the one who nearly was blown to smithereens by a f**king bomb!”

There were gasps at my language.

“You brought it on yourself!” Endora retorted from behind me.

I turned back to her and I knew my eyes were wide. “How on earth did I do that?”

“By flying in the face of custom… of ritual… of tradition,” Endora answered.

I knew I didn’t like her.

“You think it’s okay to strike someone with lightning, three times, for doing something you don’t like?”

“Yes,” she answered calmly.

Be-atch.

Totally didn’t like her.

“That’s like cutting off a child’s hand for stealing an Oreo,” I replied, disgusted.

“What’s an Oreo?” I heard the troll ask the goblin.

The goblin shrugged.

“Hardly,” Endora went on, “you’re challenging the very laws of nature.”

“I believe it’s a biscuit, you know, a cookie,” the vampire answered the troll.

“Ah,” the troll muttered.

I ignored them.

“I don’t think so. If I was, the trees wouldn’t protect me. If I was then nature would take away my power. Instead, the Great Goddess has given me more power. More than you, more than anyone.”

Endora whipped out her wand.

There were more gasps and some uncomfortable shuffling about.

“Oh please,” I snorted. “You don’t scare me, there’s no place to plug that thing in around here.”

Endora’s eyes rounded with anger and I turned my back to her. She wouldn’t be stupid enough to fire on me in front of my mother or Gran or my sisters.

And certainly not Mavis.

I threw out my arms, looked around at everyone and carried on.

“If I have better things to do… ” I whipped back around to Endora, “and make no mistake, my Lady, I do have better things to do…” I again addressed The Gathering, “then you’ll have to pardon me so I can do them.”

“Mistress Honeycutt,” Prunella stopped me, “this Gathering –”

“Begging your pardon, Madame Hag, but this Gathering is taking too much damn time,” I declared and then turned back to address everyone around me. “You’re here to speak for your people but don’t use a hundred words to say one. The way I see it, you’re either with me or against me. You are either traditionalists or you are modernists.”

I was making this up as I went along but I think it sounded okay.

Therefore I kept going. “You either want to live in the closet and hide yourself and your magnificent magic away for the rest of time or you want to be seen and heard, have a say in how this planet is being governed and, might I add… destroyed.”

Everyone was silent and staring.

“My dear girl, if it was that easy –” Prunella began.

“It is that easy,” I answered.

“Nothing is black and white,” the Headless Horseman floated up to me, his arm outstretched and he touched my shoulder.

Of course, I didn’t feel anything except a bitter chill.

Spooky.

He looked nice enough and he definitely had a way about him but I had to say, he was creepy. I think this had something to do with the way he carried his head like a football half the time.

Ick!

But I digress.

“It is just that,” I replied. “Black and white. This is the beginning or this is the end. You pick,” I said to him, somewhat more ominously and dramatically than I intended but I’d set the scene and I had to go with it. Then I swung around, throwing out my hand to encompass them all. “You all have to pick.”

I looked at each one in turn then I walked on my fabulous shoes right to my broomstick (trying hard not to let the heels sink in to the ground) and I flew (somewhat unsteadily) away.

I knew I was being a drama queen but I wasn’t going to waste all night nor spend another moment with Endora who had to be in cahoots with Agatha Darling, Jeremy Bligh and the rest of them.

The be-atch.

When the rest got home, Mavis reported that the Unicorn had called a vote.

The vampires swore allegiance (“They’re always a bit seditious, always up for a little maverick behavior. It’s good to have their power on our side but we must be cautious.”)

The wizards and magi were okay either way.

The sorcerers, sorceresses and banshees wanted another Gathering.

The trolls, goblins and werewolves were out, no way, no how. Then again, trolls and goblins didn’t exactly fit in with humans should they come out of the closet and werewolves didn’t like humans all that much (to say the least).