Marry Me at Christmas (Fool's Gold #19)(69)

Instinctively, he took a step back. No way. He couldn’t. Loving her meant... Okay, he didn’t know what it meant, but it was bad. Because loving someone was dangerous. He could lose her. An argument that usually worked for him, but not now. Not with Madeline. For the first time, the risk was worth the reward. He loved her.

He waited impatiently for the client to leave. When she did, he walked over to Madeline, prepared to tell her the good news.

Before he could figure out how to confess his feelings, she spoke first.

“I can’t do this. I can’t be with you. It’s never going to work and you’re not what I want. I’ve already talked to Dellina and she’ll finish up the details for the wedding. I gave her your phone number. I’m sorry to be so abrupt, but I thought it best to tell you now. I hope...” She turned away, then looked back at him. “Goodbye.”

He couldn’t believe it. He had to not be hearing her right. None of this made sense. He was still trying to make sense of it all when he realized she was pushing him out the front door of her store and locking it behind him.

Just like that.

He didn’t know why. Had she realized he wasn’t a good bet? Had he convinced her being with him was going to be too hard? Or was it simply that life had a sense of humor—he’d finally managed to fall in love with someone, only to have her reject him two days before Christmas.

SIXTEEN

TWO HOURS LATER Jonny realized how hard it would be without Madeline. He missed her. His house was empty and cold. Sure the temperature was fine—he didn’t want Raven shivering—but still, it felt cold.

He wandered from room to room, not sure what to do with himself. He didn’t know what had happened. Had she guessed he wasn’t worth the trouble? Was she afraid? She’d never bought into the hype of him being a star. Did she see the man behind the mask and think there wasn’t enough there? Or was it simply that she didn’t care about him? That their time together had been fun, but nothing more?

He hadn’t said anything to Ginger. He knew his sister was looking forward to having Madeline as part of her wedding. Somehow he would figure out an explanation—maybe when he understood what had happened.

Had he lost her because of who he was or because of who he wasn’t?

He settled on the sofa in the family room and stared at the tree they’d decorated together. What had gone so very wrong and how did he now fix it? Because being without Madeline wasn’t an option. The only question was how he convinced her to come back when he didn’t know why he’d lost her in the first place.

* * *

Right up until eight-fifteen in the evening, Madeline knew she’d made the right decision. Loving Jonny was just crazy talk. There were a thousand reasons they couldn’t make it work. Like how he... Well, there was...

He traveled, she thought at last. He was gone for weeks at a time. That would be hard. And he was famous. Everyone knew that famous people couldn’t commit.

“Talk about ridiculous,” she muttered. There had to be a better reason as to why she’d broken things off with him. Because if it wasn’t him, it was her.

But that didn’t make sense. She wanted to be in a relationship. She wanted to be in love. All her life she’d...

Messed up, she thought frantically. She’d failed. Made the wrong choice and had to backtrack to find her way again. She’d gone through multiple tries at finding the right career path. She’d had a string of failed relationships. While she’d finally found her dream job, she hadn’t found her dream man.

Only Jonny was perfect. Okay, not perfect, but right for her. He was everything she’d been looking for and more and she’d...she’d...

Completely and totally freaked out. She’d panicked. She’d realized she loved him, had assumed he couldn’t possibly love her back and had ended things before he could break her heart. Because what else was going to happen to an ordinary girl from Fool’s Gold?

She hadn’t given him a chance. Hadn’t been brave enough to share her feelings. Tell him she loved him. Maybe he was going to say, “Thanks but no thanks,” but maybe he wasn’t. And even if he was, didn’t she owe it to herself to hear it rather than just assume? Didn’t being a grown-up mean doing the mature thing?

Better late than never, she thought, then wondered what she was supposed to do now. She’d dumped him without telling him why. Without admitting her feelings. Not behavior to be proud of. So how did she fix that?

She stood up and looked around her small place, as if the answer was there. She grabbed her phone, then realized a phone call or text wouldn’t do. She had to face the man. Tell him the truth and then see what happened.

She got in her car and drove out to the ranch. Snow fell and she had trouble seeing where she was going, but she didn’t stop. She couldn’t. She’d already given up too many times. She’d reacted out of fear, and she wasn’t going to let that happen again.

She turned on the highway and kept her speed low. She fishtailed once, but steered into the skid, like her dad had taught her, and kept going. Her hands hurt from gripping the steering wheel, and despite the heater blasting hot air, she shivered in the cold.

What should have been a twenty-five-minute trip took over an hour, and when she finally pulled up in front of Jonny’s house, she was shaken and exhausted. Tears burned. Fear grew until she had trouble breathing. What if he didn’t love her? What if he couldn’t forgive her? What if—