Loyalty in Death (In Death #9)(67)

“No. No police!” She gathered the sheet close and struggled up. Her dark violet eyes were brilliant with fear. “He’d kill me if I did. And he knows people on the force. High-up people. I can never call the police.”

She’d begun to tremble, so he soothed. “That’s not important now. Let me help you get dressed. Let me take you to a healer — the doctor,” he corrected, remembering where he was. “Then we’ll talk about what’s next.”

“Oh, Zeke.” Her breath shuddered out as she lay her head on his shoulder. “There is no next. Don’t you see this is it for me? He’ll never let me go. He’s told me. He’s told me what he’d do to me if I try to leave. I’m just not strong enough to fight him.”

He slipped his arms around her, rocked her. “I am.”

“You’re so young.” She shook her head. “I’m not.”

“That’s not true. You feel helpless because you’ve been alone. You’re not alone now. I’ll help you. My family will.”

He brushed at her loose and tangled hair, cloud soft under his hand. “At home, my home,” he said, keeping his voice a reassuring murmur. “It’s peaceful. Remember how big and open and quiet the desert is? You can heal there.”

“I was almost happy for those few days. All that space. The stars. You. If I believed there was a chance — “

“Give me the chance.” Gently, he tipped her face back. The bruises on her face nearly broke his heart. “I love you.”

Tears swam into her eyes. “You can’t. You don’t know what I’ve done.”

“Nothing he’s made you do counts. And it doesn’t matter what I feel, but what you need. You can’t stay with him.”

“I can’t drag you into this, Zeke. It’s wrong.”

“I won’t leave you.” He pressed his mouth to her hair. “When you’re safe, if you want me to go, I will. But not until you’re safe.”

“Safe.” She barely breathed the word. “I stopped believing I could be safe. If there’s a chance…” She drew back, looked into his eyes. “I need time to think.”

“Clarissa — “

“I have to be sure I can go through with it. I have to have time. Please, try to understand. Give me today.” She closed a hand over his. “He can’t hurt me any more than he already has. Give me today to look inside myself and see if there’s anything there worth offering you. Or anyone else.”

“I’m not asking for anything.”

“But I am.” Her lips trembled into a smile. “Finally, I am. Will you give me a number where I can reach you? I want you to go home now. B. D. won’t be back until tomorrow afternoon, and I need this time alone.”

“All right. If you promise that whatever you decide, you’ll call.”

“I will.” She picked up a memo from the bedside table and offered it. “I’ll call you by tonight. I promise.” When he’d entered the number, she took it from him, slipped it into the drawer. “Please, go now. I need to see how many pieces I can pick up on my own.”

“I won’t be far away,” he told her.

She waited until he reached the door. “Zeke? When I met you in Arizona — when I saw you, looked at you… something inside me I’d thought had died seemed to stir again. I don’t know if it’s love. I don’t know if I have love anymore. But if I do, it’s for you.”

“I’ll take care of you, Clarissa. He’ll never hurt you again.”

Opening the door and leaving her was the hardest thing he’d ever done.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Eve gave her battered vehicle one long scowl as she strode across the garage. It wasn’t that appearance mattered much. Since Zeke and Roarke had played with it, the heap was back in top running condition. But it was, by God, a heap.

“It’s goddamn pitiful when a homicide lieutenant has to drive around in a wreck like this while those bozos in Illegals get zoomers.” She gave the shiny, streamlined all-terrain two spaces down from hers an avaricious glare.

“Just needs some body work, some paint, a little new shielding.” Peabody opened her door.

“It’s the principle. Murder cops always get the shaft.” Eve slammed in her side, a mistake, as the door popped right back open. “Oh fine, great.”

“I noticed that little hitch yesterday when I took it home. What you have to do is lift up some, kind of jiggle it and slide it home. Zeke’ll fix it for you first chance he gets. I forgot to mention it to him last night.”

Eve held up her hands, took several slow, deep breaths. “Okay, no point in bitching about it.”

“But you have such a smooth bitching style, sir.”

Eve slanted Peabody a look as she went to work on the door. “That’s better. You were starting to worry me. I’ve hardly heard a single smart-ass remark out of you for two days.”

“I’m off my rhythm,” Peabody muttered, and pressed her lips together. She could still taste McNab.

Eve secured the door. “Problem?”

“I — ” She wanted to tell someone, but it was just too humiliating. “No, no problem. Where’s the first stop?”