Love, Exes, and Ohs (Cactus Creek #4)(33)

All four girls stared back at her with varying degrees of sympathy, but not one answer.

Xoey turned to Quinn. “So to answer your question, the reason why I broke up with Isaac was because even as great as it was with him, I still found myself thinking about the ghost of Christmas ass.” She tried to laugh but it came out stale. “That wasn’t fair to Isaac, and I didn’t want our relationship to keep going that way. I think I convinced myself that he couldn’t be my Mr. Right…if I was still thinking about Mr. Wrong while I was with him.”

Lia reached over at squeezed her shoulder. “Xo, I can’t say that I know what you’re going through. But I do know what it’s like to be in love with a ghost. Literally. After Leo went MIA on deployment, I didn’t get over him for years. Probably not fully until I met Hudson. But it wasn’t because of the hold he still had on my heart. It was because I was still holding on to him, holding onto the things I thought I’d only have with him—the friendship, the happy memories, my past. Maybe for you, you’re holding onto your ghost because that look gave you a feeling you’re scared of not having again. Maybe you’re holding onto him for reasons you haven’t even realized. But Xoey, just like I had to accept that not only was Leo not coming back, but even if he did, I wasn’t the same girl he left when he was deployed. The girl I’d been back then belonged with the boy he’d been back then. The woman I am now? That’s the version of me that had to find a way to let him go, to allow my heart to be free to love Hudson.”

“She’s right,” chimed in Dani. “You’re not the same girl you were back then. Far from it. That version of you, I don’t see at all anymore. If you let that old you hold on to your ghost, because of a feeling you had eons ago…you might miss out on the chance for this version of you to experience the same connection…or one infinitely better.”

“So you’re all saying I should just jump in and try this fully with Isaac?”

“No, honey.” Quinn shook her head empathetically. “We’re saying you have to truly let go of your first Mr. Wrong before you decide anything else. Whatever ties he has to your heart. And believe me, I know it’s hard. I had to do it with my ex. Even though he gave me Cooper, the best thing in my life next to Rylan, I had to find a way to detangle that from what he did, and who he was, and who I was.”

Don’t they think she’s tried?

“It’ll take time,” said Lia, as if reading her mind. “You can’t force it, but you do have to be open to it. Eventually, it’ll happen.”

“Will that cure me?” asked Xoey, wanting so bad to have what Lia described…her heart to be completely free to love Isaac.

“I think a cure is asking a lot from an exorcism,” replied Dani with an encouraging smile. “But at the very least, when you figure out and cut loose those ties your ghost has on your heart, you can expect it to help you make the decision that’s right for you with Isaac.”





CHAPTER THIRTEEN


XOEY WOKE UP to the sound of her alarm and quickly hit the snooze button before the sleeping bear of a man beside her woke up.

The same bear of a man who’d shared her bed every night this week.

Best week ever.

Since talking to the girls, she’d eased up a little on all the questions and decisions about the future, and allowed herself to reflect more about her past without feeling foolish or guilty. Doing so didn’t miraculously fix her or uncover the yellow brick road for her. But it helped.

She still didn’t have any new answers for Isaac, and of course, he was being his usual wonderful self about it. She couldn’t think of one guy who would settle for anything less than a homerun once the batters got on the bases. But Isaac never complained.

In fact, he damn well invented new games that made homeruns almost unnecessary.

This morning, her body was still tingling from his efforts.

The long, rather spectacular night they’d spent pushing the envelope of ‘partial benefits’ had been quite the creative adventure on both their parts.

“Honey, if you need to meet that vendor this morning, you better stop with those sexy smiles. Because I’m about two heartbeats away from flipping you over and pinning you under me.”

Been there, gloriously done that.

“I warned you.”

She yelped when Isaac’s big burly arm darted out from the covers and clamped down around her waist. Ignoring her mock-complaints about early morning beard burn, he dragged her on top of him and nuzzled her as he arranged her just so. When he was satisfied with the fit between his man bits and her lady bits, he proceeded to lazily latch his mouth onto her nipple, while stroking every inch of her he could reach with his warm, calloused hands.

Now what was she supposed to be doing again this morning?

The info was on the very tip of her brain when her world tilted and she found herself covered from shoulders to knees by six feet of rumpled, sexy, sleepy man…who began kissing his way down her body to obliterate every last functional thought in her mind.

And he would’ve been successful, had it not been for the second helping of loud, angry alarm clock.

With a heartfelt grumble, he grudgingly rolled away to let her get out of bed, all the while giving her the cutest petulant male pout ever.

The man just didn’t realize how adorable he was.