Love, Diamonds, and Spades (Cactus Creek #2)(32)

“No. It’s not my pride. It’s just not your problem, Rylan.”

“To hell it isn’t! I love you, and I love Coop. Your problems are my problems.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Rylan. You don’t know what it’s like to feel like you’re working thirty-hour days for months on end. You don’t know what it’s like to have over a half a million dollars in debt hanging over your head. You don’t know what it’s like to look into your own future and see no home, no money, no job. You don’t know what it’s like to scream at an insurance agent because they won’t effing pay for your child to live, then to scream at God for being so damn cruel. You don’t know what it’s like to have doctors telling you that this day might be your child’s last. But I do.”

“You don’t know what it’s like to have to choose between love and life.” She dropped her gaze to the floor. “And before tonight, I didn’t either. But now I do.”

He could feel her slipping away from him and he didn’t know what the hell he could do to stop it. “You’re right, honey. I don’t know what any of that is like. But that doesn’t mean I won’t go through all that and more for you, and with you.”

“I can’t do this to you, Rylan. You and I just started dating, I can’t possibly put this on your plate.”

“So you think that’s it. It’s just a decision about us that you make on your own.”

She shook her head sadly. “I don’t have the time or strength to fit you in to this new life. It’s not as simple as just standing beside me. I only have the time for thirty hours of work, and hospital, and mom duties in a twenty-four hour day. I only have the strength to protect Cooper’s heart and maybe my own if I’m lucky.”

Rylan flinched, knowing exactly what she was trying to do. “This isn’t the same thing as Lacey. Don’t try to bridge the two.”

“If you’d stop and look at it, you’d see the similarities. If you let you tether yourself to me while I have to go through all this, it would be like Lacey all over again. You stayed with her for so long out of obligation. You took care of her and almost destroyed yourself in the process. I could never ever ask that of you. I refuse to do that to you.”

“And you don’t think breaking this off now isn’t tearing my heart to shreds right now?”

Pain streaked across her face. “I think at least those wounds would be able to heal.”

Just then, they both heard Cooper crying out from the bedroom, “Mommy!”

“I have to go, Rylan.”

And just like that, he watched her close the door on their relationship.



*



“IT’S OKAY, SWEETIE. Mommy’s right here. You just had a nightmare, that’s all.”

Quinn rocked Cooper back and forth in her arms.

“Mommy?” he asked drowsily, “is Rylan going to read me a story tonight?”

She swallowed back the pain. “No, honey. I know he would if he could though. But remember what the doctors said today, you and I are going to be really busy for a while. So we might not be able to see Rylan too much for a while.”

“Oh.” He nodded sadly. “I think I’m going to miss him.”

Closing her eyes, she whispered back, “Me too, munchkin. Me too.”





CHAPTER FOURTEEN


RYLAN GOT HOME later that night and punched a hole in his wall.

Staring at the damage, he turned to another blank wall and was all set to do a little more home remodeling with his fists when his phone rang.

“H’lo?” He didn’t even bother hoping that it was Quinn.

“Hi sweetheart. Just confirming that you’ll be bringing this girlfriend we’ve been hearing so much about to our cookout next weekend. Your dad and I are dying to meet her.”

Right. He’d planned to introduce Quinn and Cooper to his folks then.

“No, sorry, mom. Something came up. She won’t be able to make it.”

A measured pause, then. “Everything okay?”

He’d never been one to talk to his folks, or anyone really, about his relationship problems. Hell, that’s why no one knew the reason why he and Lacey never worked out.

“Rylan, I can hear you hurting over the phone.” Her voice quieted, but still resonated in that mom-tone. “I wasn’t able to help you work through whatever happened with Lacey. And it just about killed me. Talk to me, sweetheart. Maybe I can help.”

Startled, he looked at his phone, almost picturing his mom with her Carol Brady hair. Worrying about him. He hadn’t realized. “I never meant to keep you shut out. Lacey and I were…complicated.”

“Judging by the fall-out, I gathered that. Is this the same situation with Quinn?”

No. Quinn was the exact opposite of Lacey. What she was doing, and why she was doing it…he understood. Loved her even more for it, actually. “Remember how I told you her son Cooper has asthma? Well, it turns out, he has to get this entire airway reconstruction surgery on account of scarring from all the surgeries he’d had when he was first born.”

“Oh, Rylan. That poor woman.”

“I know. She’s taking it hard. She’s worried about Cooper and money, and she’s trying to be so strong. If only she’d let me help.” Frustration ate away at him like acid. “She broke things off tonight.”