Love, Come to Me(12)

“Don’t do that with your fiancé,” Heath said. “He’ll be asking where you learned it.”

Lucy pulled away from him with a hasty jerk, sliding to the corner of the seat and averting her face. Her lips felt soft and swollen, and she could still feel the brush of his tongue against hers. Every time she thought about it, she felt limp and shaky. How could she have let him do that to her? Guiltily she thought about Daniel, who had never attempted to do such a thing. She and Daniel would probably never kiss with their mouths open, not even after they were married. As Daniel had told her, a man held one kind of woman in a way that meant lust, and the other kind of woman in a way that meant love, and he had said that she was the kind who was meant to be held with love.

“In your opinion, was that a real one?” Heath smiled wryly as Lucy refused to look at him. “All right, honey . . . I’ll take you home now.”

In the evening Daniel came to call. Conveniently, it was only a short walk from his house to the general store on Main Street. Lucy and her father had lived above the store on the second floor ever since Lucy’s mother, Anne, had died of consumption years ago.

“I’m going to be downstairs taking inventory,” Lucas Caldwell said, checking absently to make certain that the ends of his snowy white mustache were twirled into neat points. Lucy smiled gratefully at him, knowing that he was giving her a few minutes alone with Daniel, and her eyes followed the immaculately clad form of her father until he closed the door with careful precision. Then she flew to Daniel’s arms. How perfect they were together. He was just the right height, tall enough for her to feel protected, yet not so tall that she felt overpowered by him. They fit together so comfortably, like two hands clasped together. They even thought the same way. Daniel was her dearest friend, and she knew that that would never change, even after he had become her husband.

“Oh, how I missed you,” Lucy said fervently, lifting her mouth for his kiss. The familiar brush of his mustache feathered across her upper lip. Inexplicably, a new impulse swept over her, and Lucy started to let her lips drift apart, wanting more than just the pressure of his mouth. She wanted to taste him. She wanted him to kiss her harder, like she had been kissed that afternoon. Maybe in the past Daniel had been afraid to try that with her because he hadn’t wanted to upset her. But even as her mouth softened with yearning, he lifted his head away from hers.

“I missed you too,” Daniel said, his brown eyes traveling fondly over her face. “I’ve thought about what we talked about before you left—”

“I’ve done some thinking too. I’m so sorry that I have been pushing you so hard.”

“Of course you’re anxious to get married. I understand that, my dear . . . I want to be married just as much as you do. We’ll set a date soon. I promise.”

“But you’ve said that for the past three years.”

“We can’t get married until I can afford to get you what you deserve—”

“You have enough to get a small place. I don’t want a big house. I just want for us to be together. I don’t see why you won’t even consider us living here with Father or with your family, just until we have enough money to get our own place.”

“It’s a matter of pride, and that’s my final word—”

“Can’t you put aside your pride for a minute and listen to me? Other men live with their family or their wife’s family. Other men start off with smaller houses and build bigger ones later. Can’t you decide on doing one of those things? I don’t want to go on like this anymore.” Her voice caught in her throat as she added softly, “I’m lonely.”

Astonishment crossed his sternly handsome face, and his hands came to rest on her shoulders. “How could you be lonely? You’re surrounded by people all the time. And I see you every day, sometimes more that once a day. We go to the dances and lectures—”

“A person can be surrounded by people and still be lonely. I feel as if no one needs me. I don’t belong to anyone.”

“Your father—”

“Father has his store. That’s what means the most to him. His whole world is the store and his customers, and that’s all he really wants. Oh, I know he loves me, but it’s not the same. And you have your family, a big family with too many brothers and sisters to count. You are all so close, you support each other, you all belong in that family.”

“But you belong in my family—”

“I’m an outsider,” she insisted stubbornly. “And I need a family too. I’m a woman, and there’s so much I want to give to you—so much that you won’t let me give you. I . . .” She hesitated before rushing on. “I want to be close to you and love you in the way that a woman loves her husband. I’m tired of kisses on the porch and holding hands when no one’s looking.”

Daniel’s ears became red as he understood what she was saying. “Lucy, hush. You don’t know what you’re asking.”

“I want to be yours, in a way that I can never be anyone else’s. I don’t want to wait anymore, not if we’re going to put off the wedding for another few years—”

“My Lord.” Daniel let go of her, laughing nervously. “I never guessed you would have thought about such things, Lucy.”