Love Me, Still(10)

It wasn’t until he heard Riyu’s harsh breathing that he realized his brother had thrust into Heather’s mind at the same moment he had. Riyu had been witness to all Cael had just experienced.

The two brothers exchanged sorrowful looks over Heather’s body.

“She has every right to hate us,” Riyu said in a low voice. “We failed her. Failed to protect her then turned away when she needed us most. We believed the worst in her when she had nothing but faith in us.”

Cael nodded, unable to form the words that were trapped in his throat. What could he say when he condemned himself with every breath? He was utterly and completely unworthy of her love or faith.

* * *

Had she gone through with it? Had she slipped over the side of the abyss? Was she even now passing to the next life? The world around her was a myriad of convoluted images, wild hallucinations and bizarre sounds.

One moment she felt as though the flames of hell licked at her skin, and the next, she was submerged into the icy depths of a snowdrift.

She heard voices. Familiar voices. There were times she swore Cael and Riyu were speaking to her, their love washing over her like a healing wind. Tears pricked her burning lids. She had no more tears to shed. And the dead didn’t cry.

She slipped in and out of her hazy world. When she heard the voice of her mother-in law, she cringed in fear. When she heard the yips and howls of her pack, tendrils of dread skirted up her chilled skin.

They hated her. Her mother-in-law’s voice drew nearer. Heather opened her eyes, trying to see if she was real or a figment of Heather’s imagination. When she saw the woman hovering over her, she whimpered in fear and shrank away.

The pack would exact justice for Heather’s sins. Had they followed her into the hereafter, determined not to let her go unpunished?

Warm, soothing hands slid over her hot skin. Words of love whispered in her ear. A low moan escaped her. Death wasn’t supposed to hurt so much. She wasn’t supposed to feel.

“Heather, my love, please don’t cry.”

She blinked rapidly, trying to make sense of the voice. It was Cael’s voice. Soft lips brushed across her brow. A hand smoothed back her damp hair.

“I’m afraid,” she whimpered. “Death wasn’t supposed to be so scary.”

She hated herself for being such a coward. She was mate to the alphas and she couldn’t even go on to the great beyond without shaming herself.

“You’re not going to die, my heart. I won’t let you.”

“You hate me,” she whispered. “Leave me in peace.”

She shook her head from side to side. Why was Cael here? Then a sudden thought, alarming, flashed across her battered mind. Had Cael died too? Was that why she could hear him? The idea filled her with grief, more numbing than any she’d felt so far.

“Noooo,” she cried. “You weren’t supposed to die too.”

Sobs welled in her chest and burst from her throat with tearing agony. Strong arms wrapped around her, joined by a second set. Familiar hands. Familiar scents.

“No one is dying, little love. You must come back to us.”

“Riyu?”

“Yes, love, it’s me. Riyu. I’m here. Cael’s here.”

“Am I dead?” she asked in a small voice.

She strained to hear their response, but their voices grew dim as the world faded around her. She slipped back into the comfort of unconsciousness.

Chapter Five

When Heather awoke again, it was to an awareness she hadn’t experienced since the day she’d trekked into the snow at John Quincy’s cabin. She looked around, expecting to see the familiar sight of the fireplace. The tree John Quincy had decorated for her.

Instead, what she saw brought an ache to her chest.

Cael and Riyu lay sprawled on the floor beside her bed, furs tangled at their legs. They only wore buckskins, their chests bare. A fire burned low just a few feet away.

She moved and nearly moaned with the effort. She’d never felt so weak. So sore. Her muscles protested as she tried to crawl to her feet.

She glanced around the cabin, recognizing it as the pack’s winter lodging. What was she doing here? Fear and anguish swelled in her belly. How had she come to be back with the pack?

A vague memory of Niko in his wolf form at John Quincy’s cabin. Had she dreamed it or had he somehow returned her to the pack? And how would Cael and Riyu react when they faced her again?

Fear-induced nausea swirled around in her stomach until she was swallowing convulsively against the urge to retch. Air. She needed air.

Carefully, she eased from the soft bed, testing weak legs before she took too many steps. The floor felt cold to her bare feet, and she looked around for her moccasins.

At the door, a few feet away, lay a pile of shoes. She eased her way over, careful not to wake her mates. Her mates. She closed her eyes against the sudden shard of pain that snaked through her body. They didn’t consider her their mate any more.

With a sorrowful look in their direction, she eased her shoes onto her feet and reached for one of the furs hanging by the door.

She opened the door and quickly slipped out into the snow. She breathed deeply of the crisp air. The smell of smoke from the fires of the nearby cabins filtered through her nostrils. The morning sun was barely above the horizon, and a damp chill pervaded her body.

Still, she picked her way carefully across the snow. She was thirsty, and she knew there was a brook not far. As she approached, she saw it was crusted over with ice.