Losing Hope (Hopeless #2)(65)
But apparently I am, because she twists her body more toward mine, directing my hand to keep heading where it’s heading. Her hands crawl up my back just as my hand greets the panties lining her hip. I slip my fingers underneath the lining and begin to tug at the same time she pulls on my shirt.
She begins to pull it over my head and I’m forced to move my hand away. I squeeze her thigh, not wanting to have to pull back, but I’m pretty sure I want my shirt off just as much as she wants it off.
As soon as I lift up onto my knees, away from her, she whimpers. The sound makes me smile and after my shirt is off, I bend forward and kiss the corner of her lips. I bring my hand to her face and gently stroke her hairline, watching her. I know we’re about to pass the most significant first of all and I want to memorize everything about this moment. I want to remember exactly what she looks like lying beneath me. I want to remember exactly what she sounds like the moment I’m inside her. I want to remember what she tastes like and what she feels like and what she—
“Holder,” she says, breathlessly.
“Sky,” I say, mimicking her. I don’t know what she’s about to say but whatever it is, it can wait a few seconds, because I need to kiss her again. I dip my head and part her lips until our tongues meet. We kiss slowly while I memorize every inch of her mouth.
“Holder,” she says again, pulling away from my mouth. She brings her hand to my cheek and looks up into my eyes. “I want to. Tonight. Right now.”
Right now. She said right now. That’s nice because I conveniently don’t have any prior engagements right now. I can do right now.
“Sky . . .” I say, wanting to make sure she’s not doing this just to benefit me. “We don’t have to. I want you to be absolutely positive it’s what you want. Okay? I don’t want to rush you into anything.”
She smiles and strokes her fingernails up and down my arms. “I know that. But I’m telling you I want this. I’ve never wanted it with anyone before, but I want it with you.”
There’s no doubt in my mind that I want her. I want her right now and she obviously wants me, too. But I can’t help but feel guilty, knowing I’m still deceiving her. I haven’t told her the truth about us and I feel like if she knew, she wouldn’t be making this decision.
I’m about to pull away from her until she places her hand on my cheeks and lifts herself off the bed until her lips are touching mine. “This isn’t me saying yes, Holder. This is me saying please.”
What was it I was thinking just now? Something about waiting?
Fuck that.
Our lips collide and I groan, pushing her back against the bed. “We’re really doing this?” I ask, not really believing it myself.
“Yes.” She laughs. “We’re really doing this. I’ve never been more positive of anything in my life.”
My hand resumes its position and I begin to pull down her panties.
“I just need you to promise me one thing first,” she says.
I pull my hand away, thinking maybe she’s about to tell me to go a little slower. “Anything.”
She takes my hand and places it right back on her hip. “I want to do this,” she says, firmly looking into my eyes. “But only if you promise we’ll break the record for the best first time in the history of first times.”
I smile. Damn straight. “When it’s you and me, Sky . . . it’ll never be anything less.”
I slide my arm underneath her back and pull her up. I curl my fingers underneath the straps of her dress, then slowly slide them down her arms. She fists one of her hands through my hair, pressing her cheek to mine while my lips meet her shoulder. My fingers are still holding on to the straps of her dress.
“I’m taking it off.”
She nods and I grab the loose material at her waist and begin to lift the dress over her head. Once it’s completely off, I lower her back down onto the bed and she opens her eyes. I scroll over her body, running my hand down her arm and across her stomach, coming to rest on the curve of her hip. I let everything I’m seeing sink in because this is what I want to remember the most. I want to remember exactly what she looks like the second she hands over a piece of her heart.
“Holy shit, Sky,” I whisper, running my hands across her skin. I bend down and kiss her softly on the stomach. “You’re incredible.”
I watch my hand as it glides across her body. I watch as it slides up her stomach and meets her breast. I watch my thumb disappear beneath her bra. As soon as my entire hand has slipped beneath her bra, she’s locking her legs around my waist. I groan and wish at this point that I had more hands because they want to be everywhere, all at once. And I don’t want there to be any material in the way of their journey.
I reach down and pull her underwear off, then remove her bra. I’m kissing her the whole time, even when I slide off the bed to remove the rest of my own clothes. I climb back onto the bed with her. Back on top of her.
As soon as I’m pressed against her I’m hit with the revelation that I’ve never experienced or felt anything like her in my life. This is how it should be when people pass this first. This is exactly how it should feel and it’s incredible.
I reach across the bed and pull a condom out of my nightstand. We haven’t stopped kissing for a single second, but I need to see her face. I need to see that she wants me to be inside her as much as I want to be inside her.