Lord of Darkness (Maiden Lane #5)(31)

“Oh.” She didn’t quite know what to say to that. All she could seem to do was stare at her fingers as she plucked at a loose thread on her gown.

Griffin cleared his throat. “Hero said I should give you time. Was she wrong?”

“No.” Megs took a breath and lifted her head. She was being a craven coward and it simply wouldn’t do. “Hero is almost maddeningly wise.”

He smiled crookedly. “Yes.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a widgeon,” she said softly.

“The only time you’ve been a widgeon is right now,” he said almost irritably. “There’s no need to apologize to me.”

She caught her breath, feeling her eyes go all hot and liquidy, but really it was Griffin’s own fault for being such a sweetheart. Why had she ever stayed away from him?

She beamed through her tears and sat on a delicate primrose settee. “Come talk to me.”

He looked suddenly suspicious. “Megs?”

She patted the empty place beside her.

Griffin narrowed his eyes and picked up a wing chair, placing it in front of her before lowering himself to the chair. He’d obviously come from bed. He wore a dark blue banyan, edged in black and gold, and slippers on his feet, but in contrast to her husband, there was no soft hat on his bare head. Griffin, like most men who wore a wig, kept his hair cropped close to the skull.

“So,” he drawled, “what is so urgent you must drag me from my bed? My very warm bed?”

She blushed, for although most couples at their level of society kept separate rooms, she had the sudden strong impression that Griffin and Hero did not.

Megs inhaled. “I want to know why Godric married me.”

Griffin’s face went entirely blank, but before he could say a word, Hero appeared at the door, a pale green wrapper held close at her throat, her beautiful red hair a curling mass over one shoulder.

“Megs? What has happened?”

Griffin rose at once, crossing to Hero. He bent over her, murmuring something quietly and with one hand touching her cheek in a tender gesture that declared louder than any embrace what he felt for his wife.

Megs bit her lip, feeling again that miserly twinge of envy. It wasn’t that she didn’t wish Griffin all the marital happiness in the world. It was just … well. She’d never have that with Godric, would she?

She winced in something very like pain at the thought. She had friends, family that cared for her, wealth and privilege. Maybe, if she could change Godric’s mind, she might even have a baby.

Couldn’t she be happy just with those things?

Hero nodded at whatever Griffin said to her and then smiled at Megs and gave a little wave.

Megs mouthed, “Sorry.”

Hero nodded and retired from the room, closing the door behind her.

“Now, then,” Griffin said, lowering himself once more to the wing chair. “What has Godric done to make you ask?”

And Megs realized that Griffin had used the brief interruption to marshal his thoughts.

Well, she certainly wasn’t going to tell her brother that her husband refused to consummate their marriage. Besides, she saw now, Griffin was probably throwing the question back at her in an effort to get her off the topic.

“Godric hasn’t done anything,” she said coolly, and when he frowned suspiciously, she sighed. “He’s been a perfect gentleman. That’s not why I’m here. I want to know what you did to him to make him marry me.”

His eyebrows flew up. “Make him?”

“He said he had no choice but to marry me, Griffin.” She gripped her hands in her lap, remembering again the stab of foolish pain at her husband’s words. “Why?”

Griffin took a breath, his head tipped back and his eyes closed. For a moment, Megs was afraid he wouldn’t speak at all.

Then his eyes opened and they were filled with brotherly love for her. “You were so broken, Meggie. So grief-stricken, it was like you’d lost part of your mind.” A muscle tightened in his jaw. “And then there was the fact that you were with child.”

She flushed, looking away from her brother, the embarrassment and shame so strong she nearly didn’t hear his next words.

“If your lover hadn’t been dead, I would’ve killed him myself.”

She stared at him, her mouth falling open. “Griffin! Roger was a good man, a man I loved, a man who loved me—”

“He seduced my baby sister and got her with child.” Griffin’s green eyes flashed. “I understand you loved him, Megs, but don’t expect me to wax poetic on the man. He should’ve never touched you.”

“We would’ve married had he lived,” she said with dignity, and then more pragmatically, “and you shouldn’t be throwing any stones.”

Griffin’s cheeks turned ruddy at her words. There had been rather a scandal when he’d married Hero—who had originally been betrothed to Thomas. “We stray from the point. You were in pain and you needed a husband. St. John had a spotless reputation, was from an old aristocratic family, and perhaps most importantly, the man has enough money to keep you happy for the rest of your life. I didn’t have much time, but I made the best match I could under the circumstances.”

“And I thank you for it,” Megs said with real warmth. Without Griffin, she would’ve been banished forever from society, a family shame to be kept secret and hidden perhaps until the day of her death. “But that still doesn’t answer my question. Why did Godric marry me? He loved his first wife dearly. I believe had he had his druthers, he wouldn’t have married again at all.”