Letting Go (Surrender Trilogy #1)(36)

Without a word, he got out and walked around to her door. He reached in for her hand and she slipped her palm over his until their fingers were twined.

She was moving into Dash Corbin’s house. She was going to have sex with Dash Corbin. God, Dash was going to own her. She started to shake as soon as she got her legs underneath her. Reaction was quickly setting in.

It had all seemed so surreal and now it was here. She was about to embark on a sexual journey and she was scared to death. What could Dash possibly want with her? He was experienced in this lifestyle. He had certain expectations. Expectations she couldn’t hope to meet.

“Joss, honey, you’re shaking like a leaf.”

She glanced up guiltily. She hadn’t wanted him to see her nerves. But as he said, she was trembling head to toe. How could he not see it? Or feel it, for that matter. Her hand was solidly twined with his, and her skin felt cold and clammy despite the warmth of the day.

He squeezed and offered her a reassuring smile. “It’s going to be okay. I know you’re nervous, but there’s no reason.”

“It just occurred to me that you have a lot of experience in this lifestyle while I have none,” she muttered. “What do I possibly have to offer you? I’m sure a novice isn’t high on your list of wants.”

He stopped just in front of the door and fixed her with his steely gaze.

“What you have to offer me is something no one else can ever hope to offer me. You, Joss. You’re giving me you and that’s all I want and need. I swear it. You have no idea how long I’ve dreamed of this. Of us. Together. Yes, I want to have sex with you, but it’s so much more than that. You may not believe it yet, but you will. I guarantee it.”

His quiet vow comforted her. She squeezed his hand back and then smiled.

“You’re certainly good for my ego, Dash. I haven’t felt beautiful in so very long. I haven’t felt desirable. I haven’t felt desire, for that matter.”

“And now?” he prompted. “Do you feel it now? For me?”

“Oh yes,” she breathed. “It shocked the hell out of me. I never expected to feel this way about you. Never imagined wanting you so badly. But there it is.”

“Thank f**k,” he muttered. “Glad to know I’m not the only one suffering here.”

She grinned. “Then how about we do something about that suffering?”

He looked shocked. So much so that she regretted her forwardness. Embarrassment crept up her neck, a wave of heat that flooded her cheeks.

Then he let out a low growl, leaning down to claim her mouth.

“I think that’s a damn good idea. Let’s go inside. I’ll get your things later. I want to get you settled in. I want you to be comfortable here, Joss. I want you to consider this . . . home.”

He tugged her inside, a wave of cooler air washing over her, removing the heat from her cheeks.

She’d been to Dash’s many times, but she’d never ventured beyond the living room, the kitchen or the guest bathroom. He led her through the living room and up the stairs to the master bedroom.

A prickle of awareness tingled up her spine as she took in the masculine feel to his bedroom. The bed was huge with a multitude of pillows. It was a four-poster, and she hadn’t imagined him to like that kind of furniture. It almost seemed feminine, something a woman would have in her bedroom.

“What are you thinking?” he queried.

She glanced up and then smiled. “Silly thoughts. I was looking at your bed and thinking that it seemed incongruous with what I know about you. I would have never imagined you having a four-poster.”

A gleam entered his eyes and amusement quirked his lips. “I need something to tie my woman to. It’s only natural that I’d have the proper equipment for the job.”

Heat flooded her cheeks once more. She had to be bright red. Then came the realization that she wouldn’t be the only woman in this bed. It shouldn’t bother her, but it did. Dash owed her no explanations for his past sex life. She’d been married, for God’s sake. She certainly couldn’t have expected him to remain celibate when he didn’t think he’d ever have a chance with her.

“What the hell are you thinking now?” he demanded.

“More silliness,” she murmured.

“And?”

He wasn’t going to let it go, and hell, she was honest to a fault, much to her detriment.

She sighed. “I was thinking about the other women who’ve been in your bed—this bed,” she said unhappily. “Stupid, I know. But it bothers me.”

Dash turned her so she faced him and he gripped her shoulders, holding her directly in his line of vision.

“There haven’t been any women here, Joss. Not here. I won’t say there haven’t been other women, but I didn’t bring them here. I couldn’t. Maybe before Carson died, I may have gotten to that point, but after? I couldn’t bring myself to even form a relationship. Not when I was so set on you.”

“I don’t even know what to say,” she whispered. “It shouldn’t mean so much, but it does, Dash. It means a lot that there hasn’t been anyone for a while.”

He leaned toward her and kissed her forehead. “It means a lot that there hasn’t been anyone for you since Carson. I was afraid that by waiting so long, by waiting to declare my intentions as long as I did, that I would lose you to another man.”