Let Me Be the One (The Sullivans #6)(51)

Vicki closed her eyes and fell asleep again to the beautiful beat of Ryan’s heart.

* * *

The next time she woke, she was alone in Ryan’s bed and could smell bacon frying. Her stomach grumbled even as she realized that this morning wasn’t like the others they’d shared.

Instead of walking out of her own bedroom fully clothed, she was going to be making the walk of shame out of his.

Hating the way her heart was pounding so hard—It’s just Ryan, she reminded herself in a firm inner voice—she slid naked from his bed and saw that he’d laid a robe out for her. She loved the way it smelled like him as she slipped her arms into it. The sleeves were so long she had to roll them up several times, then wrap the robe nearly twice around herself before closing it. She was certain she must look ridiculous, but just then she couldn’t bring herself to care.

Not when it was almost as good as being wrapped in Ryan’s arms.

Besides, the only way to deal with this situation was head-on, she told herself as she opened the bedroom door and headed down the hall. And yet, she still couldn’t quite bring herself to walk into the kitchen. She needed a few more seconds to try to clear her head of the delicious memories of the way he’d touched and kissed and loved her the night before.

From where she was standing at the top of the stairs, she was able to watch him moving around in the kitchen below. Since he’d left his robe for her, all he had on was a pair of navy-blue cotton boxers.

She. Would. Not. Drool.

Okay, so she would. She was only human.

Really, she told herself, it was no different than those shirtless pictures of him working out she’d seen in the press. She’d gotten used to looking at those without having heart palpitations. She could survive this, too.

And clearly, since Ryan was already up making breakfast rather than trying to convince her to go for another round of crazy monkey sex in the morning, he was on board with the get-right-back-to-normal plan.

Ryan looked up and saw her then, his beautiful mouth moving into a huge smile. “Good morning, gorgeous.”

Had he put extra emphasis on the word good, or was her mind playing games with her? Lord knew, she’d never say or hear that word quite the same ever again, after last night.

“I made your favorite.”

Her heart skipped a beat and she almost missed a step, needing to grip the rail extra hard to steady herself as she realized all over again just how wonderful Ryan was.

If she’d ruined their friendship by sleeping with him she’d never, ever forgive herself.

Whatever she had to do to fix this, she’d do.

Even if it meant giving up the stunning pleasure of any and all future nights in his arms.

“Thank you,” she said as she took her plate from the counter and sat at the breakfast table by the window.

“It was my pleasure.”

Her entire body tingled at the way he’d just said pleasure. For all the warnings she’d given herself since waking up, she was way too close to throwing herself at him and begging him for more of that pleasure. And all the while, he was going about his regular business in the kitchen, turning down the gas burner before he plated more eggs and bacon and toast.

How many times when they were kids, and then this week, had she watched women throw themselves at Ryan?

He was always kind, even when he was taking advantage of his allure—and especially when he wasn’t—but Vicki knew she’d never be able to look herself in the eye if she became one of those women.

Worse, she couldn’t stand the idea of Ryan worrying about how to let her down easy.

She waited until he slid into the seat beside hers before planting a smile on her face and saying, “Last night sure was weird, wasn’t it?”

* * *

Ryan felt everything go still.

Especially his heart.

When he’d looked up to see Vicki standing at the top of the stairs in his robe, swallowed up by the thick blue fabric, he’d been so full of love he’d almost called it out to her right then. But he’d thought there’d be time for that soon, that he could at least let her eat breakfast first before he took her back to bed and opened his heart up to her completely.

“Weird?”

Vicki nodded before taking a large gulp from the coffee cup he’d placed in front of her, then swore. “Ow, that’s hot!”

He automatically got up to fill a glass of cold water for her, but his limbs felt strange. Robotic. As if he was only just learning to use them. He handed her the glass and she thanked him as she took it. He watched the lines of her throat as she closed her eyes and swallowed.

He swallowed hard, too, as he sat back down at the table. He’d been starving when he woke up—great sex always revved up his metabolism—but now it felt like a heavy weight had descended into his hollow gut, pushing out any room for food.

Vicki put the empty glass down. “You’re always my knight in shining armor.”

She smiled at him, but he’d learned to recognize that smile over the past few days. While it looked real to the naked eye, it was far from it. He didn’t know what the hell was going on here, but he was damn well going to find out.

“What’s wrong, Vicki?”

She shook her head. “Nothing.” Again came the smile that wasn’t really a smile. “I just want you to know that I know last night didn’t mean anything.”