Let Me Be the One (The Sullivans #6)(10)

“Sounds great.”

“Go ahead and unpack and I’ll call for delivery.”

It wasn’t until he’d left the bedroom that she could finally take a full breath. She knew she was being ridiculous, that they were both adults now and could certainly handle being in close proximity again without things getting weird and complicated. But just because she knew that intellectually, it didn’t mean her heart—or her body—was getting the message.

How many fantasies had she had about him over the years? Starting at fifteen and going on from there, when the nights grew dark and lonely and she’d get an email from him that made her laugh. The longing she’d felt for him on those nights had been nearly unbearable.

Were the weird vibes from James the only reason she’d texted Ryan tonight? Yes, she’d felt threatened and out of options...but hadn’t she also wanted desperately to see Ryan? Had she grabbed onto James’s creepiness as an excuse to reach out and see if she was still important to him after all these years?

Angry with herself, she tossed her clothes into the beautiful dresser. She’d never been a particularly neat person—only with her art supplies did she bother with organization—but she knew she was taking messy to a whole new level.

Stop.

She needed to stop. Chill out. And enjoy being with the one person on earth she’d always completely adored.

Vicki made herself slowly take everything back out of the dresser and fold it neatly.

That was how she’d deal with everything from now on, she promised herself. Calmly, carefully, rationally, rather than following the impulses—and passions—that had always gotten her in so much trouble.

She took a deep breath and worked to center herself before going downstairs to have dinner with Ryan. Her entire body still tingled from the kiss he’d given her at the cocktail lounge, despite the fact that he’d simply been pretending to feel something for her as part of their act...not because he wanted her and needed her and couldn’t live without her.

If and when they had to pretend again, she needed to remember that a second or third kiss wouldn’t mean anything more than that first one.

Calm.

Careful.

Rational.

She could be all those things, if for no other reason than she needed to be all those things around Ryan.

She was just heading for the stairs when Ryan’s deep voice rose up from below.

“Felicia? Actually, that’s why I’m calling. Sorry, I’ve got to cancel. No, I can’t reschedule. It isn’t because of that. You were always great.”

Vicki hadn’t meant to listen in on his phone call, but he wasn’t exactly doing it in private. Obviously, he was breaking a future date with someone named Felicia, and, just as obviously, Felicia thought he was dumping her because he’d found someone better to tangle up the sheets with.

Little did Felicia know that the woman who had just moved into his house wasn’t ever going to get closer to Ryan’s sheets than the ones in the guest bedroom.

When she thought he was done with his call, she started down the stairs. She was too far to turn back by the time she heard him say, “Janey? Sorry to call so late about this, but I’ve got to cancel for this week. No, next week won’t work either. No, you shouldn’t think that. Of course we always had fun together.”

Vicki winced as Ryan extricated himself from another slightly ugly phone call...and from the ugly tug in her chest as she couldn’t help but wonder just how “great” his previous dates with Janey and Felicia had been.

* * *

After so many months of feeling like he was just going through the motions—and trying not to let anyone get wind of his growing discontent—the second he’d gotten Vicki’s text, he’d been hit with the kind of adrenaline he used to get when he was pitching a shutout.

“Still a lady killer, huh?” she teased.

He shrugged. “There were a couple of events I needed to back out of this week.” It wasn’t Felicia or Janey's fault that they’d never measure up to Vicki, so he’d tried to let them down easy.

She raised an eyebrow. “Events? This is me, Ryan. You were breaking dates with women who probably really like you. And you were only doing it because of the situation I dragged you into.” She shook her head. “I know if we’re supposed to be dating it doesn’t make sense for you to be going out with anyone else, but I feel really bad about you having to break things off with them.”

“Don’t. It was nothing serious with either of them.”

“Just hot sex, huh?” Her words made it sound like she was joking, but her expression wasn’t quite all the way there.

In any case, he couldn’t answer her question when his brain was unable to even think about touching another woman when he was around her.

“Seriously, Vicki, I’d much rather spend time with you.”

She blinked up at him a couple of times before saying, “I always knew I could count on an old friend.”

Ryan knew that was all he’d ever been to her. A friend. But after the kiss he’d given her had confirmed everything he’d ever wondered about how it would be if she let him be more than just a friend, it was damned frustrating.

The buzzer at the gate rang and he let the delivery person in. Ryan had never wanted to live behind a fence, but the last couple of times they’d won the World Series, things had gotten out of hand to the point that he’d actually been glad he had an extra level of security.