Leif (Existence Trilogy #2.5)(10)
“Shhhh, it’s okay Pagan. Don’t get all worked up. I’ve got you.” I assured her brushing the hair back from her face.
“Leif?” she whispered.
“Yes, I’m here,” I replied loving the shiver that coursed through her body.
“Where am I? Why can’t I open my eyes?” I could hear her uncertainty.
“You’re with me for now. Where you belong. Where you’ve always belonged. You’ve been mine since the moment I chose you when we were both just children. And as for your eyes they’ll open soon enough. Your human body had difficulty dealing with the travel and for that I’m sorry.”
“I don’t understand.” She replied. No, she wouldn’t understand. Not now. There was so much I had to tell her. But not while she was like this.
“Just rest. You’ll feel better soon.”
She slowly drifted back to sleep. Carrying her to my bed, I laid her down. I’d let her sleep this off a little while longer. Father needed to know I’d brought her here. It was better if I explained things to him first. Just in case Death descended on us sooner rather than later.
After speaking with Father I hurried back to check on Pagan. Having her here, in Vilokan, in my bed, felt complete. Finally. Although, I couldn’t keep her. Not yet. I just needed to talk to her. Get her to understand. It had been impossible to speak with her any other way. Dankmar was always with her or that… that… annoying as hell transporter who I didn’t want to cross. The blonde transporter was one scary female.
“You’re awake,” I said smiling as I entered the room and found Pagan awake standing in the center of the room.
“Where are we?” She asked in a shaky voice.
“My place. You like it?” I quipped hoping to ease her anxiety.
“Why am I here Leif?”
“Because you belong to me.” I shouldn’t have blurted it out like that. Bad timing.
She took a step toward me and a fierce expression had taken over her worried frown. “I don’t belong to you, Leif. I’m not a possession. I’m a person. Please take me back home.”
Oh, hell no. The fury at the thought of her belonging to Dankmar began churning inside me. “So that Dankmar can have what I created? I don’t think so Pagan.” I had to calm down. She’d fear me if I lost it. She was saying what she believed to be true. I had to get a hold of myself.
“You see he was bound to love you. You’re different. He saw that. But what he failed to explain is that you’re different because I made you different. Not him. Not fate. Me. Everything about you has been molded into my creation. You were chosen for me.” Holding out my hand I took a step toward her, “it’s okay, trust me. My touch would never harm you.”
Pagan shook her head frantically and began backing away from me. Why? All I’d ever done was protect her. Why did she have to see me as something dark, something evil? I loved her. “Have I ever hurt you, Pagan? Listen to your soul. It knows where it belongs. The fire flashing in your eyes right now is your soul reaching for me.” I closed the distance between us, “give me your hand.”
“Please Leif, take me home. I just want to go home,” she pleaded.
Dropping my hand back to my side, I gave up on trying to get her to touch me. We were going to have to work on the trust issue.
“What must I do to make you trust me? You trust Death without question. Death, Pagan—he is Death. How can you trust a creation meant to take souls from earth and not trust me? I’ve never let you get hurt. I’ve never left you alone. But he shows up and you fall mindlessly under his spell. What did he do to deserve you? He didn’t save your life. He would’ve taken your soul when you were a kid. Left your mother grieving the loss of her child and not thought of it again. It’s what he does.” I was desperate to get her to understand.
“But why did you save me?” her question didn’t surprise me. She never did understand how incredibly special she was.
“I’m not your darkest dream, Pagan. I may walk in the darkness but I saw a life worth saving and I chose it. My father chose it. He agreed you were meant for me. Now it’s up to you to accept that the life you have always lived is coming to an end. It’s past time. You were supposed to die that day on the road and when Death came I was to take your soul instead. You would’ve trusted me. Your soul and my spirit are one. But Death broke the rules.” The frustration in my chest became a growl and I stalked away from her. Growling wasn’t exactly something that would ease her fear of me. I stopped in front of one of the many candles I’d used to light the room. “I’d become lax in my judgment. I knew Death was with you but I believed he was doing what he does when he takes a special interest in a soul, preparing you. Instead, the fool was falling in love with you.”
Holding my hand over the flame I grabbed the warmth and energy flickering against my palm and held it tightly before turning back around to look at her. “I may not control Death but I do control the dead; those who made less than intelligent choices on earth. They walk among the darkness under my father’s command. Under my command. I need someone to fill the loneliness. You’ve been my companion for over fifteen years now even if you don’t realize it. But your memories will slowly return. You’ll see that you do, in fact, belong to me.”