Lana(5)

I further surprised the both of us when I ran one hand lower, down my taut stomach, and between my legs. I parted my knees on the seat, giving him a perfect view as I plunged a hand into my bikini bottoms and fingered myself.

“Untie them,” Akira said, his voice sounding rusty. “Please. I want to see what your fingers are doing.”

I pulled the little bows on each side of the string bikini, baring myself with a few simple motions. He groaned, and that made me weak. To affect him like that. It was all I had ever wanted. I ran my fingers over my sex, showing myself to him very clearly. I stroked my clitoris, then thrust a finger inside of my sex.

Abruptly, he closed his eyes, cursing. “I’m so sorry, Lana. Please, just get dressed. I was out of line. I’m sorry.”

And just like that, all of my hopes were dashed, and I just felt dirty and ugly, and inevitably, unwanted. I grabbed a different bikini, this one skin-toned, but not tangled. I put it on hurriedly, stepping out of the car, and into the front seat. I couldn’t even look at him. “I’m dressed. Are we still going to the beach, or would you prefer to just drop me off?” I asked, my voice weak.

I knew Akira had finally opened his eyes because he suddenly began to curse. “Jesus, Lana, you look naked in that suit. That thing is indecent.”

I glanced down at it, surprised by his words. The bikini was scant and skin-colored, but hardly indecent. I realized that he probably just didn’t want to see so much of my skin, especially after my sordid little peep show. He’d obviously seen enough. I felt my lip quiver at the realization. “Sorry. I’ll put a shirt on, and you can just drop me off at the hotel,” I said in the most even tone I could manage, opening the door to get my things.

He stopped me by grabbing my wrist in his hard grip, pulling me back into the car.

CHAPTER THREE

“I’m sorry. That came out all wrong. The suit is fine. Let’s just go to the beach, k?” His voice was oh so gentle, and I realized that he must have seen my lip quiver at his rejection.

I looked firmly out the window. I doubted I could ever look him in the eye again. “You don’t have to,” I said. I knew I sounded like a sullen child.

He made a little noise of sympathy in his throat, stroking my hair. “Oh, Lana,” he whispered. “I only ever seem to hurt you, no matter what I do. I want to take you to the beach. So let’s go, k?”

He spoke to me like I was a child with fragile feelings, and I was so pathetic that I soaked it up, knowing very acutely that even scraps were better than nothing. “K.”

He patted the top of my head. It was a ‘good girl’ pat, but I didn’t protest. “Do you mind if I stop by my place to change real quick? I don’t have anything in the car, if you can believe it. Oh, and we need surfboards, of course.”

“Oh, yeah, surfboards,” I said absently, just looking out the window, trying to keep my mind blank so I wouldn’t do something stupid, like cry in front of him.

The house he pulled up to was drastically different from the last time I had seen it. It looked like it was a completely different house now, all modern architecture and sleek, reflective windows. And it was noticeably bigger. “You expanded, huh?”

I felt him studying me, but I still didn’t look at him. “Yes. I’ve made quite a few changes, over the years. Come on in.” He got out of the car as he spoke, coming around to my side and opening my door. I got out, looking at anything but him. He gripped my arm just above the elbow, pulling me firmly to his front door, then ushering me in. “I’ll be quick. Make yourself at home,” he said, stroking a hand down my hair, then disappearing up the stairs.

I walked through the main floor slowly, taking in all of the changes rather numbly. It had turned from a somewhat rundown beach house into an ultra-modern, sunlit infused haven. The color scheme was simple, with lots of white and pale gray and a few touches of bright color. A bright yellow vase on the mantle, and a colorful painting in the living area, just splashes of color here and there, all of the neutral bringing that color out more vividly. The whole space was open now, with only glass walls. But the windows were the most spectacular change, lining the walls now, letting in the light, for clear, clean views of the beach. Apparently, business had been good for Akira. I was glad.

Akira changed quickly, joining me near the window as I gazed at the ocean. He walked up behind me, and I still didn’t look at him.

He tugged on a lock of my hair gently. “Hey. Will you at least look at me?”

I finally did, and was immediately sorry. He wore only a pair of black board shorts, of course. I could see the many thick black tattoos that dotted the front of his muscular shoulders. The tribal patterns traced down to his mid back, I knew. I loved those tattoos. His abs were as washboard hard as ever. I tried not to drool as I took in his perfect naked torso. I finally tore my eyes away from his golden skin to look into his troubled gaze. “Your house looks amazing,” I told him.

He just nodded, studying my face. “I’ve upset you. How can I make it better?” he asked, his voice so serious and quiet.

I felt my face crumple, and he enfolded me in his arms. I buried my face in his chest, in the spot right between his muscular pectorals. I pressed my body full against him, wanting to stay wrapped in those arms forever. This was why I could never come back here. My feelings hadn’t dimmed with time; they’d merely been pushed back into a dark corner of my heart, ignored, as I was deprived of his intoxicating presence. But to him, to him, I was only a burden. A family friend with an inconvenient infatuation, I recalled, was how he’d phrased it. Those had been his words to Milena at the time. And that had been the day after I’d seduced him.