Knight (Unfinished Hero #1)(56)

“Right, well, that kind of thing is who he is. It leaks everywhere. He likes control.”

“Control?”

“He tells me what to do, I do it. In pretty much all things at least, um… sexually but other times too but only if it’s important to him and so far he’s taken the time to explain.” I paused then said softly, “And if I don’t, he’ll punish me.” Then I finished on a hurry, “But that hasn’t happened.”

She was silent. My stomach clenched.

“It’s not as kinky as it sounds.” I promised quickly. “It’s really kind of –”

“Anya, babe, I’m a submissive,” she said quietly and I blinked.

My nosy, ballsy, bold, take no prisoners tell it like it is Vivica was a submissive?

“What?” I breathed.

“Thought about it, get it, like it, do it. To get out of that ‘hood and not live my life as a ‘ho or the bitch of some homey who gets a cap busted in his ass or a prison sentence leaving me with three kids all of who will grow up to be gangsters, ‘ho’s or stupid bitches tied to dead guys, I’m like Knight. I have to keep my shit tight. I don’t want to be the assistant manager of anything. I want to be manager. Then I want to be director. I want to own my own home. I want a nice place, nice car, nice clothes, nice shoes, nice furniture and a decent guy who takes out the trash at least by the second time I ask, gives it to me regular in a way that I like and whips my ass, literally, when I’ve been bad.”

Oh my God.

She kept talking.

“I gotta work so hard, keep my shit so tight, control my life so much to keep on the right track and get what I want out of life, it’s a relief to give all that up and put myself in someone’s hands. I trust them to take care of me, in most cases, they do. I’ve had two long-term Doms. One, I lost and I won’t explain because if I do, you’ll figure it out and he doesn’t want anyone to know so that’s his secret and not for me to share. The other, because he got off on the pain more than the trust or the relationship and sometimes failed to get me off so I got shot of his ass. Some women are into that. I’m not. But I’m looking. Just hard to find one who gets that’s bedroom, not life or not all of life.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked quietly.

“Because some people think it’s jacked, Anya, when it… is… not. But I sometimes get shit for the color of my skin. I’m not adding to that with sharing this. No f**king way.”

“You don’t get shit from me,” I reminded her, stung.

“No, and I didn’t wanna get it another way,” she replied gently, easing the sting.

“You can tell me anything,” I whispered.

“Well, now I know that since you shared with me.”

We both fell silent.

Vivica broke it.

“So, obviously, if he’s a thirty, you like it too.”

“Yeah,” I said softly.

“And you jack up, he’ll punish you?”

“Yeah.”

“He’s shared that with you?”

“Unh-hunh.”

“And you know his limits? He’s been open with you? What you can do, what you can’t? What he can do, where he won’t go with you?”

“Yeah. I mean, he’s given me boundaries which I may or may not explore but they are far from vague. And he’s also been somewhat comprehensively forthcoming about what he’s not into. It’s not about wax or clamps or any of that. It’s about control.”

“Covered his bases,” she muttered.

Seemed like it.

“Good,” she whispered.

“Yeah,” I repeated.

“Advice, babe, jack up.”

I blinked again.

Then I breathed, “What?”

“No joke. I know it sounds scary crazy but it isn’t. It’s scary, crazy, hot.”

My legs started trembling.

“Really?” I whispered.

“Oh yeah. Hell yeah. I know he’s yours, babe, but just the thought of Knight Sebring taking a crop to me, hun… nee. I’m thinking of stopping my gig of trying to talk in code to every guy in Denver to see if they’re a Dom and just putting a personal ad in so I can get my ass slapped.”

I burst out laughing.

“I’m not kidding,” she said into my laughter.

“Right, okay,” I said, still giggling.

“Listen to me,” she said, deadly serious and my giggles faded. “Straight up, what you’ve already done, is he cool with you? You like it?”

“Yes,” I whispered.

“To a thirty?”

“Yes, Viv.”

“Then jack up. Because if you like him bossing you then you’re into it. If you give him reason to take it to the next level then that thirty will become a fifty, I kid you not. Scary. Crazy. Hot.”

My trembling legs started shaking as did my hands and my eyes slid to Knight’s space-age alarm clock on his nightstand.

Ten fifteen. Knight wouldn’t be home for hours.

Damn.

“You know something, babe?” Viv asked in my ear.

“I know a lot of things, honey. What do you want to know?” I replied.