Kiss an Angel(98)

“I can’t sleep.”

“Again? What’s wrong with you lately?”

“It’s—” She twisted her hands. He was going to freak when she told him, but she couldn’t keep going on like this, knowing how she’d screwed Daisy over but not doing anything to make it right.

If Daisy had turned out to be a bitch, it might have been different, but she was the nicest person Heather had ever met. Sometimes she wished Daisy had narked on her right at the beginning. Then it would all be over by now.

“What’s wrong, Heather? You still worried about missing your cue tonight?”

“No.”

“Well, maybe you should worry about it. I don’t know why you can’t concentrate better. When Matt and Rob were your age—”

“I’m not Matt and Rob!” Her frayed nerves snapped. “It’s always Matt and Rob, Matt and Rob! They do every thing perfect, and I’m a big screwup!”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You think it. You’re always comparing us. If I’d been able to come live with you right after Mom died instead of having to stay with Terry, I’d be a lot better by now.”

He didn’t get mad. Instead, he rubbed his arm, and she knew his tendonitis was bothering him. “Heather, I did what I thought was right for you. This is a hard life. I want something better for you.”

“I like it here. I like the circus.”

“You don’t understand.”

She sat down in the chair next to him because it was getting too hard to stand up. This had been the worst and the best summer of her life. The best part was being around Daisy and Sheba. Even though they didn’t get along with each other, they both cared about her. Although she’d never let Daisy know it, she liked listening to her lectures about swearing and smoking and sex and stuff. Plus, Daisy was funny, and she was a natural petter, always rubbing Heather’s arm or back or something.

Sheba fussed over her in a different way. She stuck up for her when her brothers got obnoxious and made sure she ate good stuff instead of junk. She helped her with her acrobatics and didn’t ever yell, not even when Heather screwed up. Sheba was kind of a petter, too, always brushing Heather’s hair or adjusting her posture or just patting her after she was done performing.

Meeting Kevin last week had also been really good. He’d promised to write, and Heather was going to write him back. He hadn’t kissed her that night, but she thought he’d wanted to.

If only everything else this summer hadn’t been so terrible. She’d embarrassed herself so bad with Alex that her skin felt crawly whenever she thought about it. Her dad was always mad at her. And worst of all was what she’d done to Daisy, the awful thing she couldn’t live with one minute longer.

“Dad, I have something to tell you.” She clutched her hands. “Something bad.”

He stiffened. “You’re not pregnant, are you?”

“No!” Color flooded her cheeks. “You always think the worst about me!”

He slumped back in his chair. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. It’s just that you’re getting older, and you’re so pretty. I worry about you.”

It was the nicest thing he’d said to her all summer, but she couldn’t even enjoy it because of what she had to tell him. Maybe she should have told Sheba first, but Sheba wasn’t the one she feared; it was her father. Tears stung the back of her eyelids, but she blinked them away because men hated tears. Matt and Rob said only pussies cried.

“I—I did something. And I can’t keep it a secret anymore.”

He didn’t say anything. He merely watched her and waited.

“It’s just—it’s like something ugly inside me that keeps getting bigger and won’t stop growing.”

“Maybe you’d better tell me.”

“I”—she gulped—“That money—when everybody thought Daisy stole that money . . .” The words burst free. “It was me.”

For a moment he did nothing, then he shot to his feet. “What!”

She looked up at him, and even in the shadowed darkness she could see the fury in his expression. Her insides churned, but she made herself continue. “It was me. I—I took the money, and then I sneaked in their trailer and hid it in her suitcase so everybody’d think she took it.”

“I don’t frigging believe this!” He lashed out with his foot, kicking the leg of the chair she was sitting on out from under her. Before she could fall, he grabbed her arm and jerked her upright. “Why did you do something like that? Damn it! Why did you lie?”

Terrified, she tried to pull away from him, but he wouldn’t let her go, and she could no longer hold back the tears. “I—I wanted to get Daisy in trouble. It was—”

“You little sneak.”

“I told her I was sorry!” she sobbed. “And I am! She’s my friend now! I didn’t mean—”

He gave her a hard shake. “Does Alex know about this?”

“N-no.”

“You let everybody believe Daisy’s a thief when all the time it was you. You make me sick.”

Without warning, he began dragging her across the lot. Her nose was running, and she was so scared her teeth started chattering. She’d known he’d be mad, but she hadn’t thought it would be this bad.