Kiss an Angel(122)

She heard the sound of quiet footsteps. Tater shifted his rear quarters and a pair of denim-clad legs appeared that she had no difficulty recognizing.

Alex crouched down next to her and propped his elbows on his splayed knees, hands dangling between. He looked so tired that, for a fraction of a second, she wanted to comfort him. “Please come out of there,” he whispered. “I need you so badly.”

She rested her cheek against Tater’s wrinkly gunnysack let. “I think I’ll stay here a while longer.”

His shoulders sagged, and he poked his finger in the dirt. “My house . . . it’s big. There’s a guest room on the south side that looks out on an old orchard.”

She released her breath in a soft sigh. “It’s chilly tonight. Fall’s coming.”

“I thought we could maybe make it into a nursery. It’s a nice room. Sunny, with a big window. Maybe we could put a rocking chair there.”

“I’ve always liked the fall.”

The animals shifted, and one of them snorted quietly in its sleep. Tater lifted his trunk from her knee and draped it on her husband’s shoulder. The softness in Alex’s voice didn’t hide its bitterness. “You’re not ever going to forgive me are you?”

She said nothing.

“I love you, Daisy. I love you so much I hurt.”

She heard his suffering, saw the vulnerability in his face, and even though she knew it came from guilt, she had endured too much pain herself to find any pleasure in inflicting it on another, especially one who still meant so much to her. She spoke as gently as she could. “You don’t know how to love, Alex.”

“That might have been true once, but not anymore.”

Maybe it was the comfort she received from sitting beneath Tater’s heart or maybe it was Alex’s pain, but she could feel the icy barrier inside her beginning to crack. Despite everything, she still loved him. She’d lied to him and to herself when she’d said she didn’t. He was the mate of her soul, and he would own her heart forever. With that realization came a deeper and more bitter knowledge. If she ever again let herself fall victim to the love she had for him, it might very well destroy her, and for the baby’s sake, she couldn’t let that happen.

“Don’t you see? What you’re feeling is guilt, not love.”

“That’s not true.”

“You’re a proud man. You violated your sense of honor, and now you’re trying to make amends. I understand that, but I’m not going to let my life be dictated by words you don’t really mean. This baby is too important to me.”

“The baby’s important to me, too.”

She winced. “Don’t say that. Please.”

“I’d prove my love if I could, but I don’t know how to do that.”

“You’re going to have to let me go. I know it’ll hurt your pride, and I’m sorry about that, but being together like this is too difficult.”

He didn’t say anything. She shut her eyes and tried to slip behind the icy barrier that had been keeping her safe, but he’d put too many cracks in it. “Please, Alex,” she whispered brokenly. “Please let me go.”

His voice was barely audible. “Is that what you really want?”

She nodded.

She had never thought she’d see him look defeated, but at that moment some internal spark seemed to be extinguished. “All right,” he said hoarsely. “I’ll do what you want.”

A spasm of anguish ripped through her as she realized it was finally over, and she stifled a sob as he rose to his feet. If this was what she wanted, why was it so painful?

Off to the side a shadow moved, but both Daisy and Alex were too absorbed in their own misery to notice that their most private conversation had been overheard.





24




“Alex!”

His head shot up from the stake driver’s engine as he heard Daisy’s voice calling out to him and sounding exactly the way it used to. Hope surged through him. Maybe time hadn’t run out for him after all. Maybe she hadn’t meant what she’d said two nights ago, and he’d no longer have to put her on a plane for New York that very afternoon.

He threw down the wrench he’d been using and turned to face her, only to have his hope fade as he saw the expression on her face.

“Sinjun’s gone! They’ve unloaded all the animals, and he isn’t there. Trey’s missing, too.”

Brady came around from behind the stake driver where he’d been trying to help Alex. “Sheba’s behind this. I’d bet anything.”

Daisy’s face paled with anxiety. “Did she say something to you?”

“No, but she’s been a bitch on wheels these last couple of days.”

Daisy looked at Alex, and for the first time since he’d found her at the zoo, he felt as if she were really seeing him. “Did you know about this?”

“No. She didn’t tell me anything.”

“She knows how you feel about that tiger,” Brady said. “My guess is that she’s sold him behind your back.”

“But she can’t do that. He’s mine!” She bit her lip, as if she realized that what she’d said wasn’t true.

“I tried to find Sheba earlier,” Brady said, “but she hasn’t shown up yet. Shorty drove her RV, but her car’s missing.”