Kiss Me (Fool's Gold #17)(89)

“You saw that?”

“First time I ever saw a steer save somebody.” He patted her back and left her so he could bring coffee to the others.

The hot liquid warmed her hands and stomach and eased some of her shaking. The blanket was old and musty, but at this point she wouldn’t care if she had to share it with an entire mouse family.

How nice to live in a town where you could count on people to help when help was needed, she thought. Fool’s Gold was that kind of place. Back at Reilly’s house, there’d been no question about whether the Strykers would jump in, only about whether they would get there in time.

Phoebe watched the last of the cattle reach the safe side of the river. No matter how cold she was, she knew she would never forget this day or the knowledge that she’d made a difference. They all had.

* * *

“IT STOPPED RAINING,” Lucy said from her seat by the window. “Maybe they’ll be back soon.”

C.J. patted the sofa cushion next to her. “Thad said they’d call when they were heading back.”

Lucy sighed, then walked toward her. “Are they okay?”

C.J. ignored the fear inside of her and nodded. “Sure. They’re fine. Zane’s been a cowboy all his life. He’s not going to let anything happen to anyone.”

Lucy’s light brown eyes filled with tears. “Promise?”

Without thinking, C.J. held open her arms. Lucy rushed into her embrace. Tommy, sitting next to her, snuggled close.

“I don’t want Thad to drown,” the boy whispered.

“It’s just a little rain,” C.J. told him, trying not to think about flooding streams or snow runoff. “I’m sure they’ll be wet and cold, but they’ll survive. You’ll see. And when they all get back here, we’ll listen while they tell us everything.”

Both children stared at her. C.J. willed them to believe her or at least to pretend to. Keeping up her spirits and acting calm when all she wanted to do was pace sucked up a lot of energy.

Lucy burrowed into her side. “Okay,” the girl whispered. “Want to read us a story?”

“Sure.”

Tommy stood and raced off to get a book from the library. They’d found a stash of them there earlier that morning. Probably leftovers from when the old man’s grandson had been little.

While the boy was gone, C.J. smoothed Lucy’s hair off her face.

“You need to think good thoughts,” she said. “Sometimes that helps.”

“Not always,” the child told her.

C.J. stared into Lucy’s face and knew the girl had seen things she, C.J., could never imagine. She and her brother had faced horrors no child should have to deal with. And if she and Thad didn’t do something, they would return to a life in hell.

Her throat tightened, and her voice got thick.

“I always wanted a little baby of my own,” she said softly. “Not because babies are that special, but because I never thought I was very good with children. You know? I don’t ever know what to say or how to act. I thought if I had a baby, I would raise it so that it knew I loved it, even when I made a mistake.”

Lucy looked away. “Yeah. A lot of people want babies.”

“Sometimes what we want isn’t the right thing for us to have,” C.J. continued. “There was this boy I really liked in high school. I desperately wanted him to ask me out, and when he didn’t, I thought I would die. I was so heartbroken. Then I met Thad, and I loved him so much more than that other boy. It turned out he loved me, too, and he wanted to marry me. If I’d gone out with the first boy, I would have gone to a different college, and I never would have met Thad. So not getting what I thought I wanted was a good thing. Does that make sense?”

Lucy stared at her. “I guess. Maybe.”

C.J. stroked her cheek. “I thought I wanted a baby. If I’d had one, or if Thad and I had adopted one, we never would have come on this cattle drive. We never would have met you and Tommy.”

The hope in Lucy’s eyes was so bright, it was painful to see.

“You mean not getting what you wanted was a good thing?” she asked quietly, almost fearfully.

“Absolutely,” C.J. told her, then hugged her close. “I want you and Tommy to come live with us. I may not always do the right thing or say the right thing, but that’s because I’ve never been a mom before. It’s not because I don’t care. Can you remember that?”

Lucy nodded, then caught her breath on a sob.

Tommy walked back in the living room. “What?” he asked as he set down his book. “What happened?”

“I told Lucy that I’d like you two to come live with me and Thad.”

Tommy’s smile was pure joy. He whooped loudly and flung himself at C.J. She felt herself being crushed and strangled by skinny little kid arms. Their warm bodies pressed close. Life had never been so good.

* * *

THE CATTLE MADE it to higher ground by sunset. Wet, tired and shivering with cold, the riders rode through the growing darkness, back to Reilly’s house.

The Strykers had volunteered to stay with the herd, and Zane had gladly accepted. He considered getting everyone warm and fed his priority.

Three hours after Phoebe had nearly fallen in the river, he still couldn’t draw in a full breath. When she’d slipped, he’d known he could never survive losing her. If she’d been hurt, or worse, it would have been his fault. All of it. Because he’d been so determined to teach Chase a lesson. The irony was Zane had been the one to learn a thing or two in the past week.