Kaleidoscope (Colorado Mountain #6)(105)
When he said nothing, she continued.
“I think… looking back, I think when I was with Harvey back when he took me, I shut down. He was acting so strangely, it totally freaked me out. And I think… I think…”
She trailed off, again appearing reflective before she came back to him and said in a whisper that sounded like a confession, “I think I sought him out after, when I was an adult, because I had to believe he was a good guy doing bad things. I had to find a way to erase that fear I held with me for three days, worried what he’d do to me, about how he was acting. Worried if I would see my family again. How I knew Mom and Dad were probably wild with terror. I knew it was all wrong and very, very bad, but I had no power and I was scared out of my mind. I sought him out later because of why he did what he did and that he took me to the police station. I had twisted it my head that he was a good guy and I needed to make that real, I think, in an effort to erase that fear. Maybe to get some of my power back. But also to give myself the ability to build a wall around those memories so they would stop tearing me apart.”
Deck wanted to howl with elation that she’d finally untwisted that in her head.
But he didn’t.
He simply gave her a smile and murmured, “I think you’re right, baby.”
“It just turned out he actually was a good guy,” she went on.
“Yeah,” he replied.
“I shouldn’t have gone to him,” she admitted softly.
“Don’t hold that guilt,” Deck warned quickly but gently. “I told you, he’s good with this. He wants you to heal.”
She held his eyes and nodded.
She again drifted away, her face working before she came back to him and focused.
“They told me,” she declared.
They were going somewhere else now, he knew it. He just didn’t know where she was taking them.
“Who told you what, baby?”
“Nina,” she stated.
He felt his brows draw together. Then Emme, always challenging him in ways he liked, and some lately that weren’t much fun, did it again. But in a way he didn’t much like.
She did this by saying, “They know what happened to me and they were careful when they shared. But I asked, so they shared. They told me about Nina getting kidnapped and nearly shot.”
At her words, he had a feeling he knew where she was taking them, his body got tight and he couldn’t control it. But she didn’t seem to feel it and went on.
“About Lauren getting kidnapped, stabbed and running for her life. About Lexie being kidnapped and nearly shot. And about Faye getting kidnapped and buried alive.”
She stopped talking, and not knowing precisely where this was leading so not wanting to make assumptions, Deck said gently, “All right, honey.”
“I thought I’d ask them because I knew some of that, and because, in a way, they’re like me.”
Deck thought this was good and began to relax.
She was right. They were like her in a way, though all that happened when they were adults. But, from the stories he heard, all those women took a minimal amount of time to adjust and move on.
They might be able to help guide Emme.
“I don’t know what you do to make a living,” she continued, blindsiding him. “But I figure it might have danger and you might have enemies.”
Fuck.
Now he knew where her head was at.
Fuck.
“Baby—”
Her voice changed completely, it was trembling when she declared, “I can’t go through it again, Jacob.”
Fuck.
“Emme—”
“I don’t want… I don’t think…” she stammered, and Deck turned her.
Rolling her to her back with Deck pinning her down one side, Buford adjusted out of their way with a groan and a sniff.
But Deck only had eyes for Emme.
“Don’t use this to pull away from me,” he whispered.
She flattened her hands on his chest and admitted, “I’m trying not to pull away but I got to thinking and I got scared.”
This was also new, brand new, and it was the good kind of new.
“Good,” he replied. “Not that you’re scared but that you started thinking and shared that with me.”
“Jacob, if… I…” She shook her head on the pillow. “What happened to Faye had to do with something that involved Chace and—”
“Tomorrow, I start putting in a security system,” he announced, and she shut her mouth. “And, babe, we’re not arguing about who’s paying. It’s gonna be top of the line and it’s gonna cost a whack. So I’m paying and installing.”
Her voice was again trembling when she asked, “Does that mean I might be in danger?’
He ignored that and stated, “Also, I’m putting in outside lighting, front, back and sides of the house. Bright lights, long range with motion sensors. You can pick the fixtures so you have the look you want but I’m also paying for that.”
“Ja—”
“And that outbuilding you have that looks like it’s supposed to be a garage but is mostly a wreck, it gets new windows, new doors, new locks and a new garage door with remote. I want you parking in there because I want your vehicle secure so I need that building secure. When I move in, we’ll scrape it and build a bigger garage.”