Just To Be With You (The Sullivans #12)(4)

Tatiana listened to his excuses without looking away from him. The brightness of her smile had dimmed a bit, but her determination still shone brightly as she said, “I know I haven’t given you any warning, so maybe if I wait until your schedule eases a bit—”

“My schedule never eases.”

When her expression softened with concern, Ian was reminded of the way his mother and his sister looked when they were worried about him.

“I’m sure there are other CEOs in Seattle who could work with you.” And no doubt every last one of them would jump at the chance to spend a couple of weeks with her. But even as he reached for his phone so that he could give her their numbers, he hated the idea of Tatiana sharing an office with any of them. What if one of them tried something with her?

“I know there are plenty of other CEOs in Seattle I could call. But you’re special, Ian. And I’d very much like to shadow you for this role.”

Half a dozen further reasons why he couldn’t say yes lay on the tip of his tongue, but he was well aware that only one was really true: He didn’t trust himself with Tatiana for an hour, let alone a week. Already, from nothing more than this one short conversation, the sparks and the heat between them were stronger than he could ever remember with another woman.

The less time they spent together, the better it would be for both of them. Tatiana was a young, talented beauty with eyes full of wonder and dreams and the certainty of endless possibilities. Whereas Ian knew from first-hand experience just how impossible some things really were. He’d already crushed the wonder and dreams and endless possibilities in his ex-wife. He’d never forgive himself if he did the same to Tatiana.

So though he wished he could spare her feelings, he knew it wouldn’t be wise to sugar-coat his answer and give her hope that he’d change his mind. “No.”

Surprise didn’t flicker in her eyes. But disappointment was there, and it twisted in his gut despite the fact that he was doing the right thing. Because if he ever made the mistake of touching her—if he ever let himself have her even for an hour—he couldn’t imagine a world in which he’d ever be able to let her go again. Especially not to find pleasure with another man.

He’d learned at Marcus and Nicola’s wedding that Tatiana dreamed of long white dresses and lacy veils, and had been picturing her own wedding since she was a little girl playing in the backyard in her mother’s wedding dress. Ian could never again be a part of that dream for any woman, regardless of how much he wanted her.

But even as he moved to take a step away from her, she was closing the distance between them in her sexy red heels. Her skin was flushed and soft looking as she stopped barely a breath from him to ask, “Why?”

He understood, suddenly, why she’d been such a success. It wasn’t just that she was a great actor. She also didn’t seem to know fear, didn’t hesitate or hold things back where other people would instinctively have done all of the above in the face of his firm no.

“I heard all of the reasons you’ve just given me,” she continued in the same forthright and open manner with which she’d spoken to him in Marcus’s Napa Valley vineyard months ago, “but none of those are the real reason you’re saying no, are they?”

For a moment—one split second of temporary madness—he was tempted to show her exactly why. To drag her into his arms and steal a kiss that she’d never forget. To show her the force, the power, that the intense attraction between them had.

And the damage it could do.

Self-control asserted itself just in time for him to curl his hands into fists in his pockets instead of in her silky hair, and he was carefully weighing his words, measuring his response, when his office door flew open.

“Aha! I knew I’d find you here, still working. Ford is waiting in the car downstairs to drag you to Mom and Dad’s house right aw—” His sister, Mia, suddenly realized he wasn’t alone. “Tatiana, I didn’t know you were in Seattle already. It’s so great to see you again!”

As the two women hugged hello, Mia shot Ian a look over Tatiana’s shoulder—one that had him gritting his teeth even harder than he had been before his sister arrived, all because he could read Mia’s mind.

Ian and Tatiana sitting in a tree

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

When they were children, everything could be boiled down to such simple sentiments. But life wasn’t that simple anymore, and hadn’t been for a very long time. Heck, Mia ought to understand that after how difficult things had been between her and Ford Vincent. The rock star was now her utterly devoted fiancé, but during the previous five years, their relationship had been a radically different story.

As the oldest in their family, Ian had done his best to watch over Mia since the day his parents had brought her home from the hospital—a tiny, innocent bundle wrapped in soft blankets. He’d made sure to take care of her when she skinned her knee, when she fell from the bars in the playground, when she took a tumble on the ski slopes, when she’d needed help staying up all night to study for a test. She’d always been there for him, too, making him laugh with her silly antics, even once he was in college and things had begun to fall apart for them as a family...and there hadn’t been time for much laughter anymore.

Later, when they were both adults, his sister had tried to be there for him again when he’d been going through his divorce. But instead of letting her, he’d left the country. In the years since, he still hadn’t shared the finer details of his divorce with anyone, including his sister, but that didn’t mean she was clueless. She knew he wasn’t interested in love, romance, or marriage again, even if she didn’t know exactly why.