Just One of the Guys(60)

“Thanks, Chas!” Sarah cries. I move on.

“I hope you brought me more than a card,” Elaina says, accepting her envelope.

“Vodka. In the car. Didn’t want to make the others jealous,” I stage-whisper. “And you’re a wonderful mom, too, blah blah bleeping blah.”

Elaina smacks me affectionately. “Don’t worry, chiquita,” she says as I flop on the couch next to her. “You’ll have your turn, okay? And then you’ll long for these days when you have no little asses to wipe, no spit-up permanently glued to your neck. Am I right, girls?”

The Starahs nod wisely.

“I made Tara breakfast in bed today,” Lucky says. “She has the whole day off. No housework, no kid care.”

“So what are you doing here? Time’s a’ wastin’,” I comment.

Tara laughs and leans her head against Lucky’s shoulder. “Where else would I want to be?” she asks.

“Oh, gack,” I answer, pretending to vomit. “What about you, Sarah? Did Jack honor you in some way, preferably by spending lots of money?”

“Yes, he did,” she answers. “Like the well-trained husband he is. See my new earrings?” She pushes her hair behind her ears.

“Beautiful,” I say. I turn to Elaina. “And Mark? Anything from him?”

“Well, actually, you know, the bastard did come through,” Elaina admits, toying with her hair. “Dylan had a card and some nice bath stuff for me this morning, and he said Daddy told him to give it to me.” Her dark eyes soften. “So that was nice, you know?”

I really am surrounded by women who are wonderful, caring, selfless mothers. Smart, wise, funny, loving, patient. And my uterus is begging for the chance to join the crowd.

As if reading my mind, Elaina turns to me. “I’m thinking a girl, first, you know? With blond hair like her daddy, okay? And then a boy. Dr. Darling Junior.”

“Why can’t the girl be Dr. Darling Junior?” I ask, trying to picture Ryan next to me in the delivery room.

“Oh, that’s right!” Sarah squeals. “We heard you had a new boyfriend! Tell all, Chastity!”

At that moment, Trevor sticks his head in the living room. “Hi, girls,” he grins. “Happy Mother’s Day, you gorgeous creatures.” And then he looks at me. “Hey, Chas.”

“Bite me, Trev,” I answer agreeably. “I note that I’m not lumped in with the gorgeous creatures.”

“You know I think you’re beautiful. Striking.” He winks and my insides give an unwilling twist. Then he comes in, several bouquets in his arms, and goes first to Sarah. “Thank you for sharing your kids with me,” he says, kissing her on the cheek. He repeats the gesture and the words with Tara, then Elaina. Each of my sisters-in-law hugs him, exclaims over his thoughtfulness, wipes away a tear.

“Kiss-ass,” I murmur as he approaches me. I’m hoping he won’t notice that my eyes are wet, too.

“I was thinking more along the lines of ‘prince among men,’” he answers. He holds out the last bouquet to me. “For you, Chas. Just so you don’t have a tantrum.”

My heart aches with, um, let’s see…affection. Yes. “Consolation prize, huh?”

“Not exactly,” he murmurs.

The image of him and Perfect Hayden leaps unbidden to my mind, and just in the nick of time. I wonder if he did something sweet for Hayden. Or Angela. Or any of the other women he may or may not be seeing.

“Trev, thank you, sweetie,” Elaina says. “Your ass looks great in those jeans, by the way. Carhartt, mm-mm!” The Starahs murmur in agreement. Lucky rolls his eyes. “But we were talking about Chastity’s love life,” Elaina continues, giving me a sharp glance. “So, Chas? Have you done it yet?”

“We’ve been on just two dates,” I say demurely.

“Answer the question,” Tara instructs.

“I’ll just bow out here,” Trevor murmurs.

“You do that,” Elaina says, making a shooing gesture with her hand. “We want to talk sex, okay? You too, Lucky. Out.”

I shoot her a look that could cut metal, but she’s undeterred. Trevor and Lucky obey, as do most men when Elaina gives an order.

“Yes to the sex,” I answer. My sisters-in-law shriek and I grin, pleased to be the center of all this feminine attention for once.

LATER THAT DAY, IN ORDER TO counter the effects of too many cheese danishes at Mom’s, I pull on my running shoes and clip the leash to Buttercup’s collar. “We’re going for a run, you harlot,” I tell her.

“Aaaahhroooorooorooo!” she answers.

“No sex with anything under fifty pounds, you hear?” She wags agreeably. “Let’s go, then.”

Then I see the light blinking on the answering machine. “Hello, Chastity, it’s Ryan Darling,” comes Ryan Darling’s voice. “Just wanted to let you know that I’ll be on Long Island to visit my mother today, but I hope to get together soon. I had a really nice time the other night. Tell Buttercup I said hello. Speak to you soon.”

Well! That’s pretty damn sweet, isn’t it? I smile. There was also an attempt at humor at the end. Good job, Ryan. Granted, he didn’t need to use his last name—we were ha**ng s*x two nights ago, so yes, I do remember him. I wince a little. Very enjoyable sex. Pleasant. Reliably satisfying. Meat loaf.