Just One of the Guys(36)
“Well,” I said, tilting my head, “not really. There are a couple of guys I go out with once in a while, but nothing serious. Just having some fun.” A perfect answer, one I had practiced in the mirror a dozen or so times, demonstrating that I was sought after, but discerning, and still quite available for a more meaningful relationship.
“Good for you.” He smiled, and I grinned back, taking this to mean good because I was free. For him. My toes curled in my high-tops. The waiter came over, we ordered and Trevor took a sip of wine, then set the glass down and straightened the cutlery. “Chastity, you know I’ve been seeing Hayden, right?” he asked.
“Sure,” I said, tucking some of my newly cut hair behind my ear. My heart rate sped up, my knees tingled. Here it comes….
“Well, things have, um, changed a little,” Trevor said, not lifting his gaze from the tablecloth. His smile, I noted, dropped a notch. Still a little sad about breaking up with her, no doubt, whereas my own heart rocketed with joy. Oh, God, thank You. Finally.
I was so prepared to hear “We broke up” that I almost missed what Trevor actually said.
“We’re getting married.”
For a moment, my stupid smile, my expectant, hopeful stupid smile, stayed on my face. My eyes widened, and I took a sharp breath, then another, that stupid-ass smile still there, as out of place as kielbasa at a Seder supper. Then I was blinking, because my eyes were stinging with tears. Don’t you dare, that little voice hissed with sudden, vicious loathing. Don’t you dare cry, you stupid idiot. “Holy crap, Trev! Wow!” I squeaked. “This is great! Wow! Great!”
“You really think so?” His eyes were full of sympathy—or something, and suddenly, my pride galloped onto the scene.
“Yes!” I exclaimed. “This…I’m…surprised, you know? I didn’t think you were that serious! But congratulations! She’s great.”
“Thanks, Chas.” He leaned forward, his elbows on the table. “I wanted to tell you in person.”
“That was so…nice of you!” Bastard! “Yeah! No, really. Thank you, Trevor.” My fists were clenched in my lap, and I had to swallow again and again. “So, have you set a date?” The roaring in my ears was enough to drown out the happy details for the happy couple, but not enough to silence my little voice. You bleeping idiot. Didn’t I tell you to slow down? Huh? I can’t believe this. If you cry, I will kill us both.
Mario the waiter brought our dinners, and I ate and ate—the antipasto, the salad, oh, the bread, fantastic, and my penne alla vodka, out of this bleeping world, and if my mouth was stuffed, I wouldn’t have to talk, now, would I? Just smile and nod at whatever the hell Trevor was saying now.
“I was a little worried,” Trevor admitted, wiping his mouth. “About telling you, I mean.”
“Why?” I asked, stuffing another hunk of olive-oil-drenched bread into my mouth.
His beautiful dark eyes went sad. “Well, you know. Because of our…thing in college. I felt kind of awkward, telling you about being engaged. I was afraid you’d be—”
“Be what? Are you kidding? Come on! You’re like a brother to me, Trev. I’m happy for you. Really. She seems like a great person.”
Trevor—whom I really, really hated at this moment—smiled, albeit awkwardly. “Well, yeah, definitely. She is. Things just got serious kind of fast…Anyway. Thanks, Chastity.” He paused, seemed like he was going to say something more, then asked about my classes.
When Mario brought our tiramisu, I excused myself to the bathroom, threw up, then rinsed my mouth and stared into the mirror. “Idiot,” I hissed with a shocking amount of self-hatred. “You pathetic, ridiculous, stupid idiot.”
TREVOR AND PERFECT HAYDEN moved to Washington, D.C., where she had just signed on at a high-powered law firm. Trev picked up work as a paramedic, and they bought a condo and set a date for their wedding. Fortunately for me, they didn’t come home for Christmas that year, because even though I was used to treating Trevor like a pal, seeing him in love with his size-six fiancée would have been too much.
Something happened, though, and I never heard firsthand what it was. Matt told me only that it was Perfect Hayden who called things off, that Trev had wanted to work things out. Whatever the case, he moved back to Eaton Falls, resumed his job on the fire department and was a little quieter and more serious after that.
That was six years ago. Since then, to the best of my knowledge, Trevor hasn’t been in a real relationship, despite the number of women who would follow him to the ends of the earth. Maybe he has abandonment issues. Maybe he never got over Hayden. Maybe she was the love of his life. Maybe every night as he’s falling asleep, he thinks about her and can’t help imagining how incredible it would be if they were together again, if they had that love back, if things had taken a different turn.
And now she’s back.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
A FEW DAYS AFTER THE ROAD race, Penelope summons me to her office. I can tell by her tone that I’ll be examining some part of her body for disease. When she heard that I was taking an EMT class, she’d been nearly overcome with joy. Sure enough…“Does this look like an AVM?” she asks, pointing to the back of her knee.
“What’s an AVM?” I ask, bending down for a look.