Just One of the Guys(26)

I snatch back the bag. “Have you tried them? They’re delicious. And yes, I am aware that it’s singles night. Were you?” I raise an eyebrow back.

“Of course. I’m checking up on everyone’s favorite sister. Plus, I needed coffee, remember?”

It’s now that I notice that there are three slips of paper sticking out of Trevor’s shirt pocket. Great. He sees me looking. “I guess you can never meet enough people,” he acknowledges, grinning again.

My heart stutters. Trevor at Singles Grocery Night. Like shooting fish in a barrel.

Sure enough…“Hi, Trevor!” comes a silky feminine voice. It is attached to a silky feminine body topped off by silky, supermodel face.

“Hey, Sally,” Trev replies easily. “How’s it going?”

“Great!” Sally says, gliding in front of me and stopping firmly. “Just had to grab a few things.” Note the denial of singles shopping. Liar. Sally is the cilantro sniffer. Her cart is filled with fresh produce, as well as yeast and whole wheat flour. Mother would approve. “So, Trevor,” she coos. “What’s new?” She sticks out her Pamela Andersons and flips her hair.

I roll my eyes and eat another Oreo.

“I’m just talking to my friend here. Chastity, this is Sally.”

“Hi,” I say with the enthusiasm of a concrete block.

“Hello,” she replies with equal fervor. She turns back to Trevor. “Well, I hope you find what you’re looking for, Trevor,” she breathes, then whispers in his ear, very loudly. “And if you ever change your mind, you know where I live.” Then she sashays down the aisle, scrawny ass swinging. I could crush her in one fist.

“So. Sally.” I force a smile.

“We dated a few times,” Trev explains. Ah. Trevor is a bit notorious when it comes to dating. Women, as I may have mentioned, love Trevor. All women. Five minutes after seeing him for the first time, they fall deeply in love, move heaven and earth to be with him, are incredibly happy for a very short period before he gently breaks up with them, crushing their hearts. Then they fondly recall him as the one guy they never resented, disliked or mistrusted and would strangle their grandmothers for another chance to be with him. Obviously, I know the feeling.

“So, Porkchop,” Trevor says. I narrow my eyes at him. “Met anyone decent yet?”

I blink in surprise. This is indeed new. Trevor and I may be on great terms, occasionally get each other in the Christmas grab bag and, as of late, see each other at Emo’s here and there, but you can bet the farm we have never discussed my quest for a husband.

“Well, you know, uh,” I stammer, “I’m actually here with Mom.” He nods. What the hell. I decide to tell him the truth. “But yes, I guess I’m sort of…looking.”

He reaches out for an Oreo and nods again. I wait, actually breathless, for him to say something. What about me, Chas? Would you ever go out with me again? He remains silent. Tick…tick…tick…I can’t stand it anymore. “You know, I’m back here, plan on staying. So sure, it would be great to meet someone. Settle down. Have some kids. What about you?” There’s his opening. Take it, Trev. Go for it. Ask me to be the mother of your children. You can do it, buddy. My forehead is a bit damp, and these bleeping shoes are killing me. Should have worn my red high-tops. They’re rather dashing, after all.

Trevor glances into my cart, and I definitely get the impression he’s avoiding my gaze. “Well, I don’t know. I guess…I don’t know.” He looks up suddenly and forces a smile. “I’ve already been engaged once, so maybe I’m a little gun shy.”

“Right.” Of course. Perfect Hayden Simms, five foot five, one hundred and twelve pounds, blonde, cute, smart, openly adored by men, secretly hated by me.

Trevor is still looking at me. “But yeah, I’d love to be a father someday. Have a couple of kids. The whole nine yards.”

If ever there was a time for him to ask me out, it’s now. If ever there was a time for me to speak up, it’s now. Say something, Chastity. “Well, I…um…you know, I—” a bead of sweat trickles down my spine “—you know I’ve always thought you were…just…you know. Great.” My heart is thudding so hard I may barf up those Oreos. “And you’ll make a great dad, Trev.”

His eyes soften. Hot fudge. They’re the color of the best hot fudge on earth. “Thanks, Chastity. Coming from you, that means a lot.”

I wait for more. I did my part, damn it. I just gave you an opening, buddy. Speak now or forever hold your peace. He doesn’t say anything else.

For a second, I feel like I might cry. Okay, fine. I’m used to not being with Trevor. Fine. “So do you want me to be on the lookout for you?” I blurt. Just so he won’t guess that I’m still hung up on him. Just so it will seem like we’re just pals, like I’m just one of the guys who happens to have boobs and prettier underwear.

He pauses. “Uh…that’s not…No. That’s okay.”

“Hello, Trevor, honey!” Mom bustles up and kisses her favorite child on the cheek. “Don’t tell me you’re looking for a girlfriend? Chastity, you must know someone—”

“Trevor needed coffee, Mom,” I explain hastily, desperate to change the subject. “He’s only here for coffee. And half and half. Trev! Did the Yankees win?”