Just One Kiss (Fool's Gold #10)(91)

Ford gave him the finger. “She’s one of the many reasons I didn’t want to come back. Having to deal with her and my sisters.” He swore. “They’re growing up to be like her. Dakota and Montana have both offered me a place to stay. Only Nevada seems to get that I might not want to be treated like a runaway ten-year-old.”

“Life is pain.”

Ford looked at him over the bottle. “You’re not very sympathetic.”

“I have my own troubles.”

“Why? You’re a hero, too. You took on your old man and won.”

“You shot him.”

“We can’t all be lucky.” Ford’s dark eyes studied him thoughtfully. “Well, hell. You’re leaving.”

“I can’t stay.”

“Sure you can, but you don’t want to.” He frowned. “No way. I thought people were just talking, but they’re telling the truth, aren’t they? About Patience. You know, they’re saying she’s in love with you.”

Justice tightened his grip on his bottle of beer. “I know,” he said, trying not to flinch. “It’s my fault. I let her think things could work out.”

“Instead you’re going to run.”

Justice looked at his friend. “You saw my father. You know better than most what kind of man does that. You’ve seen what I’m capable of. How thin a line separates us. Would you risk it?”

Ford put down his beer and raised his arms so he could link his fingers behind his head. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I guess it depends on how bad you want it. Being with her, I mean. You’re the most controlled guy I know. You’re cool in a fight, deadly in an op. You’re not ruled by emotion. Bart lived on hate. It ate him up until there was no humanity left. You’re not like that.”

“I could be.”

“You could. That’s up to you. Do you love her?”

A question Justice didn’t want to answer. But he was also unwilling to deny his feelings for Patience. He nodded.

“Then think long and hard before you walk away. Once it’s done, it can’t be undone. There’s no going back. From what I hear, Patience is a sensible woman. She raised a kid, started a business. She’s not going to be made a fool of twice. When she’s over you, it’s finished.”

* * *

PATIENCE LEFT WORK at her usual time. It was warm and bright and she couldn’t figure out how the sun could look so happy. As she walked toward her house, she noticed the children playing in the park and the flowers in the planter boxes in front of the various businesses.

Life had gone on. Justice had left two days before and life continued. Look at her. She kept on breathing, kept on moving. She got through her shift, restocked shelves, took Lillie shopping to get ready for camp, cooked dinner and even chuckled at a well-meaning joke or two. She could fake being alive, but on the inside, she was long past dead.

When Ned had left, she’d assumed that was the worst thing that would ever happen to her. Abandoned by her husband. That she would be a single parent with a baby daughter.

She remembered the days had been hard, but more so because she was embarrassed—a failure at marriage. She’d known everyone was feeling sorry for her, and that was difficult. But nothing compared to Justice walking away.

She didn’t care what anyone else was thinking. She didn’t care if people talked or pointed or even laughed. What she cared about was the hole where her heart used to be, the ache that hadn’t finished growing, let alone started fading. She hated the questions in Lillie’s eyes and the sympathy in her mother’s. She wanted it to be a year from now, so she could be over him.

She would never stop loving him—she accepted that. She’d given her heart fully to Justice. Even the most secret places she’d kept from Ned, she’d handed over to Justice. He’d believed in her and encouraged her. He was good and gentle and funny and kind. He was an honorable man, and a case could be made that he had left her for honorable reasons. But that didn’t make the situation any easier to stand.

“There you are!” Felicia hurried up to her, breathing fast. “You left work a few minutes early and I was afraid I wasn’t going to catch you. Come on.”

Before Patience could protest, Felicia was leading her down a familiar street. “We’re going to Isabel’s house.”

“We are? Why?”

“She needs to, uh, speak to you about something. It’s important.”

Patience nodded. In the past few days she’d neglected her friends. She simply didn’t have the strength. But maybe talking about someone else’s problems would help, she thought. Distract her for a few minutes.

Isabel had grown up in a low, one-story ranch house. The kind that sprawled in all directions. Back in school, it had been one of the newer houses in town, with a modern kitchen and big rooms off long hallways. There was a garage to one side and a small apartment above it.

Felicia herded Patience up the walkway. The door opened before they reached it and Isabel stepped onto the long porch.

“How are you doing?” she asked, her voice and expression sympathetic.

“Not great, but I’ll survive.”

Isabel moved close and hugged her, then put her arm around her and led her inside.

It took Patience a second to adjust to the dimness of the living room. When she did, she stared blankly at the dozen or so women sitting on sofas and standing around, talking.